


On Thin Ice

by JackNSallyGal, tamilprongspotter



Series: Marauders On Ice [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Death by Hockey, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Reclaiming the word queer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-04-27 11:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 68,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14424645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackNSallyGal/pseuds/JackNSallyGal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamilprongspotter/pseuds/tamilprongspotter
Summary: A short offseason makes for a lot of stress in a few months, and James Potter and Lily Evans have their hands full: a wedding, two sets of parents to wrangle, and a new season knocking on their door, louder each day than the day before. Will their relationship survive the summer? Or is the ice too thin to stand on?





	1. History Is Written By The Victors

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for sticking with us through _Editor in Chirp_ and we're glad to have you joining us for the sequel, _On Thin Ice_! We're excited to share a lot more about our favorite fake Seattle residents and their best buddies and we're even more excited to hear your reactions to the facts we're about to deal out!
> 
> An important note, before you get started reading -- this story contains several explicit and detailed accounts of a major character having anxiety attacks, both covert and overt racism, and extended discussion about how social media presence could negatively affect a public figure with mental health issues. If any of those topics make you uncomfortable, this is not the fic for you! Warnings will be posted for anxiety attacks before the chapters in which they occur, and if you contact either of the authors, we will be able to provide the chapter numbers so you can plan to avoid them in advance.
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with us! We hope you enjoy _On Thin Ice_!

James Potter Retweeted  
Hema R @hemar02 ● 12 June 2025  
I don’t think Tamilians have ever cared about ice hockey as much as they have today. Shabaash, @jpotter21. You made us care about a winter sport!

* * *

James had always been nervous in cars that he was not driving. 

He had been that way for as long as he could remember -- unbearably anxious at the thought of a situation he was utterly powerless in. If he was not one hundred and ten percent in control of the outcome, he felt lost and terrified, pulled under by a riptide of doubt. It often made him laugh that, with such a fear of chance having its way with him, he had become a professional athlete. His career, by virtue of its competitive nature, rested entirely on the possibility that any combination of injuries and loss of skill would not force him to an early and grisly end. 

Luckily, neither aging nor major injury had bothered him quite yet -- here he was, at twenty-three, with a championship title and a couple nominations to check on at the awards ceremony in a few more weeks. Even the biggest wildcard of them all, his shoulder, was much less severely injured than he’d thought. It would be right as rain within six to eight weeks, if he stuck to the instructions he’d been given and didn’t push himself too hard. He would be ready to start at the beginning of the season just like everyone else. He wondered, as the car wound its way through the marked parade route, if it would get any better than this. If he would ever feel better than he did now, covering up the urge to scream by feigning happiness. 

Had he peaked already?

Had he been given his reward now, to prepare him for years and years of trouble to come? 

Was this as good as it was ever going to get?

He’d thought winning the Cup would dust the last vestiges of fear off of him, leaving behind only the confidence years of hard work had carefully built up, but the rapid, uncoordinated thumping of his heart almost seemed worse now, without something to work toward. Ever since Toronto, something had been wrong. No, since before Toronto, since the day he’d been drafted. No, it had started even before then. The afternoon he’d taken the call from Red Deer, a head full of dreams and a heart full of the reality that such an opportunity was not for him, was when it had started, the doubt, the crushing confusion, the fear.

It had never gotten as bad as it had in Toronto, not since his rookie season. He had never felt so lonely, so adrift, as to take it out on another person. But here he was, reaching new lows just as he reached new highs. Life, at least the way he saw it, had a tendency to be immeasurably cruel sometimes. 

Maybe the problem was that Lily had seen him like that, or maybe the problem was that he’d felt that low at all. Everything had been going right for him then, and had gone perfectly since. How had he ignored everything that was going right and focused so intently on one mistake, on one game gone wrong, when he’d known one game mattered little at the beginning of a series? That was wrong -- one game mattered a lot. A loss was a lost chance to take or strengthen a lead, to force a tie. But he should’ve known, shouldn’t he? That he had a team that was capable of covering for his mistakes? 

Shouldn’t he have trusted them?

It all came down to that, James thought, as they turned a corner slightly faster than he would’ve liked. Embarrassment raged through him, leaving his ears feeling like they were on fire. He struggled to trust other people. He had always felt a burning need to do it himself rather than delegate, and he should’ve known it would lead him down that road. He should’ve planned ahead. He should’ve anticipated his own failings. Hadn’t he spent enough time cataloguing them all to know each one like an old friend?

“Jesus, James.” Moody growled, slapping James upside the head. “Would it kill you to smile, boy?”

“Just might.” James said, and forced a smile to satisfy Moody. He couldn’t disappoint his coach again. “I’ll do my best, though.”

* * *

Lily’s last piece for the Seattle Times detailed the injury list released from the Metros. She sat at her desk, reflecting on the playoffs and subsequent win in a new light, focusing on how hard fought the victory truly was. 

When she finished with the piece, Lily sat back in her chair, staring at her screen for too long. She thought back to all the other pieces she’d written, and then before that when she’d been on the student paper in college, taking whatever assignment she could get her hands on as a freshman. Lily had been hungry for opportunity. She took scraps at first, gladly, and moved her way up, covering stories with a little more meat to them. She remembered typing away in her dorm, cross legged on her bed, hyped on caffeine and the idea of living her dream.

It all swam before her, past and present colliding with the sounds of the office -- the smell of coffee, the clacking computer keys and the voices of her former colleagues. Former. It felt so odd to say something so definitive, but if Lily had her way, this was the last time she’d be at the Times, not when they expected so much from her and gave so little.

Marlene and Dorcas were out when Lily packed up her desk. She didn’t have much to take other than her jar of pens, a few notebooks, and a framed picture of her with Em that she kept tucked by her computer. She left a note for both Dorcas and Marlene, asking them to meet her for lunch so they could talk things over. 

Lily needed to tell them in person, needed them to know where she was coming from, but her last piece coincided with their vacation time, so she’d have to wait until they were back in a few days to do it. She had no idea how they’d take the news, only that leaving the building, saying her goodbyes to a few coworkers on the way out, felt like the beginning of something great.

* * *

“Frank, Alice and Neville should be here soon enough, and Little Pete and Felix say they’re almost here…” James fired off a few more texts, eyebrows furrowed as he scanned the messages he’d already received as if they could spontaneously add more meaning to themselves. Now that the whole mess of the parade and professional obligations were over, James could keep his sling on in peace. His arm felt so much better supported. “Kingsley’s on time. Thank you very much, Kingsley.”

“No problem, bro.” Kingsley, the bill of an obnoxiously purple Minnesota Vikings snapback pulled low over his eyes, shot James a thumbs up from where he was lying on the couch, flipping through TV channels to find something that would catch his interest.

“And Benjy’s bringing his girls!” James’ face lit up. “Aww, great! Ella and Claire are adorable and they’re best friends with Neville, and--”

“I’m here!” Tage Pedersen, a young, baby faced man whose cowlick to hair ratio seemed uncomfortably close to one, knocked twice on the open door before bursting in to join them, waving guiltily in Lily’s direction. It was almost funny to think that he’d been assigned the nickname “Little Pete” at first glance, as nothing about him was little. He towered over even James, who didn’t seem the least bit intimidated by him. “Sorry. There was a thing. Never mind, I’m here. And I beat Felix.” He noted, glancing around the room. “Excellent.”

“You know everyone, right, Lily?” James asked, momentarily forgetting that Lily had been, until very recently, paid to keep track of who he was playing with. He shut the door quietly, obviously having realized somewhere along the line that leaving it open may not have been the best idea. “This is Tage. We call him Little Pete. He’s precious. Don’t let him swear.”

“And why’s that?” Lily asked. 

“Our man Little Pete still hasn’t figured out how cursing works yet.” Kingsley said, as if Tage wasn’t there. “He’s trying his best, but it’s ugly.”

“False. I swear just fine. Son of a motherfuck.” Tage said proudly. “That’s a good one.”

“That’s… it’s something, alright.” Lily agreed, trying to keep a straight face. “Impressive.”

“He’s the best rookie.” James said with a grin. “Going to be a hellion in the top six next season, right, Tage?”

“Right, Cap!” Tage responded, looking like he was bursting with pride. 

As if called forth from the void by James’ words, there was suddenly a rapid series of forceful knocks on the front door. 

“And there’s Felix. Don’t mind him, Miss Evans.” Tage offered. “He’s always crabby, and his face just does that on its own. It’s nothing against you.”

“Thanks.” Lily said, amused. “Also? Call me Lily, okay? I’m not that much older than you, I swear.”

“Lily. Right.” Tage nodded enthusiastically. 

James opened the door to reveal a tall, sturdy looking boy, obviously of an age with Tage, delicate features twisted in a grimace. His clothes were perfectly pressed, and not a single blond hair was out of place. He obviously hadn’t gotten the message that they were meeting for an informal team dinner, or perhaps he’d just ignored it, judging by the slight shadow of a scowl on his face as he cast a glance around the room, pausing on each person in turn.

“Nice place, Cap.” Felix said, sounding ridiculously bored. He cast a glance around the apartment, smirking. “Lacking in personality. Wouldn’t have expected any less.”

Lily bristled on James’ behalf, wondering if this was the same Felix she’d interviewed after countless games. He’d always seemed perfectly nice, but she didn’t like the way he spoke to James or the way he smirked, as if he was above everything and everyone and knew it. 

“Maybe.” James said, looking rather nervous. “Alright, boys. Glad to have at least some of you here. Hopefully the rest will show up soon. Regardless, please be agreeable and friendly, Felix. Remember, Lily is, uh, important to me and I’m not going to let you piss her off.”

“Why am I being singled out?” Felix protested. He looked Lily over, something about his gaze clinical and intrusive all at once, and shrugged, casting an irreverent glance over at James. “I’ve done nothing wrong! You, however, have basically let a reporter walk into our space and--”

“Shut up, Felix.” James ran a hand through his hair, fixing Felix with a searching stare that quelled any protest before Felix could drum it up. “Come on, bud, you’re better than this. Give me something to work with here.”

“Besides”, Kingsley spoke up, sitting up for the first time since he’d entered the house, “she’s not just a reporter. Cap’s obviously real into her. Not a single ‘fuck’ in that sentence, so he’s trying to impress, isn’t he? Well done, Jamie.”

Tage looked between Kingsley and James with a delighted expression, before turning to Lily. “That’s real nice, Miss… I mean, Lily. Out of all of them, you’ve always been my favorite reporter.” 

“Okay.” Lily said, a touch hysterically. “I’m going to grab the food.”

Lily practically ran from the room and into the kitchen where she slumped against one of the counters, bringing a hand up to rub her face.

James followed her into the kitchen not a second later, concern written all over his face. 

“Hey. You doing okay?” He said, taking her hand. “They’re-- they’re a lot. Especially Felix. I should’ve warned you a little more.” He wove their fingers together, a soft smile on his face. “He’s not so good with new people, that’s all. He gets nervous and he lashes out a bit. We’ve been trying to train him out of it.”

Lily squeezed his hand and smiled, shaking her head. “Honestly? I was trying not to laugh out there. Figured it would only add more fuel to the fire.” She let out a breath that turned into a chuckle. “They are a lot, but I can handle it, babe. I appreciate you checking in though.” 

“I’m glad it’s laughing and not crying. The last girl that Kingsley brought around freaked out so bad that we’re all still a little cautious.” James laughed. “Okay, good. Don’t take him too seriously and he’ll flame out on his own. He just isn’t great with people.”

“I can tell.” Lily said wryly. 

“I can hear you, Cap. You’re horrible.” Felix grumbled loudly enough to be heard in the kitchen, throwing himself down on the couch. “Where’s Sirius? He’d be nice to me.”

“On his way, don’t worry.” James called back to Felix. “Remus is dragging him out of bed, last I heard.”

“More importantly, when are the babies getting here?” Tage asked, taking a seat next to Felix on the couch. There was no mistaking the excitement in his voice.

“Frank and Alice are stuck in traffic. Benjy and Jess are finding a parking space.” James counted off a few people on his fingers. “That’s me, Sirius, Benjy, Kingsley, Little Pete, and Felix accounted for from the forwards. Yeah, I think that’s everyone who could make it tonight. Defense, Remus and Frank. Dearborn, Eddie, the Matts, and the goalies are busy.”

“That sounds like a fire hazard.” Felix rolled his eyes.

“It’s a fire hazard made of teamwork.” James shot back. 

Less than five minutes later, Benjy arrived with his wife and girls, both apologizing for being late, even with James and Tage’s attention obviously fixed on the twin girls, who were busy taking in their new surroundings, heads swiveling about like baby owls.

“Sorry, Cap. Had a last minute spit up emergency.” Benjy explained with a wry grin, scooping one of the twins up seconds before she stuck a sticky finger in her sister’s hair. “Little Ella here is not, despite the name, very enchanted with the idea of going outside.”

“No problem, no problem.” James smiled. “The kids are getting real big now.”

“They’re growing like weeds.” Benjy agreed, as Ella babbled happily in his arms.

“No kidding.” James said, reaching out to Ella, who giggled and high fived him. “Last time I saw them, they were barely people and now they’ve got little personalities and everything. Babies are so cool.”

“They’re even cooler now that they’re sleeping through the night.” Benjy’s wife, Jess, said with a smile as Benjy set Ella on the floor so she could crawl around with a few toys they’d brought along. 

“That’s gotta be a relief for you.” James laughed. “Benjy could sleep through a hurricane, nobody needs to worry about him.”

“Isn’t that the truth.” Jess said with a fond look at her husband. 

“Oh, uh, this is Lily.” James said, motioning for Lily to come closer. “She’s a good friend of mine. Figured she’d be interested in a closer look at the team.”

“Well, on behalf of the team, I apologize in advance.” Benjy laughed. “We are a lot of fun, but it’s pretty chaotic. It’s a lot to take in. We’re all used to it, so we hardly notice anymore.”

“Evans, right? From the Times? I knew you looked familiar.” Jess said, nodding thoughtfully. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Lily smiled. “And I’m actually not with the Times anymore. Turned in my last article a few days ago.”

“Ooh, Jamie Boy, did she quit for you?” Benjy teased, nudging James with his shoulder. “Listen, we had bets going on something happening with you and her and holy shit, Obie owes me money.”

“What did I tell you about betting on teammates?” James frowned.

“You said don’t do it, but there were no consequences attached to that, so why not, right?”

“That’s the spirit.” Jess said dryly. “Way to work around a direct order, Ben.”

“Obie better pay up, then.” Lily said, clearly amused. “Because James was a pretty large factor in me quitting.” The words flew out of Lily’s mouth without much thought, and once they were out there, she turned to James with wide eyes.

“Oh. We’re doing this.” James said, utterly shocked. “Yeah. Um. I helped?”

“Holy shit.” Tage said gleefully, before shooting a desperate look at the kids in the room. “I mean… shoot?”

“It’s not like they haven’t heard worse, Petey.” Benjy grinned. “One time’s okay.”

“Hot damn, this is getting good.” Kingsley announced, earning a chuckle from Tage. 

“So, I’m assuming Remus knows, then.” Benjy turned back to James. 

“Uh, here’s the thing--”

The sound of feet shuffling outside the door, punctuated by the quiet whining of a toddler, caught James’ attention, and he nearly ran over to the door to unlock it. No sooner had it swung open than his arms were full of screaming, gleeful toddler, little Neville Longbottom eagerly telling James all about his day, his chubby hands pressed into the sides of James’ face. 

“You’ve got your hands full, huh, Jamie?” Frank, who looked very much like his son so long as his helmet was off, slapped James’ shoulder like they were old friends. “Christ, this kid’s halfway to being a dad already, just needs a baby.”

“Awkward, since we just found out James and Lily are dating.” Jess mentioned offhandedly.

“Well, that’s, wow.” Alice Longbottom said. She smiled at Lily. “It’s nice to meet you then, Lily. I’m Alice. Frank’s wife. James and I have known each other since… how old were you, James?”

“Uh, sixteen, I think?” James frowned in thought, but Neville, who instantly tried to pull the corners of his lips upward, made him laugh. “Met you shortly after I stuck with the Rebels. Alice and Frank have been together since basically forever.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” Lily said, glancing between the Longbottoms and their son, who looked absolutely thrilled to be here. “I’ve heard a lot about you and Neville, of course.”

“James has been our designated babysitter since the little guy was born.” Frank said. “I’d imagine you’ve heard a lot ‘cause we keep bothering him to take Nev for a bit.”

“Doesn’t seem like much of a bother.” Lily said, looking at James fondly as he smiled at Neville, who was still happily chattering on about some plants he’d found when Alice took him out for a walk earlier. “I know he loves spending time with him when he can.” 

“I still think he’s selling us out.” Felix shook his head. “Us young men, we should be having more fun. Instead, he prefers babysitting to us.”

“It’s fun trying to keep little ones occupied.” Tage countered. “Don’t even try to disagree, bro, even you can’t help but get a little mushy around kids.” 

There were a series of rapid-fire knocks at the front door, interrupting Tage’s eternal quest to get Felix to admit that he did, in fact, enjoy babysitting.

“Anyone home?” Remus called, banging on the closed door until James forced it open after freeing one arm from Neville’s octopus embrace. “Sorry we’re late, but it’s all Sirius’ fault.” He said cheerfully. 

“Most of us are.” Kingsley called out. “We’ll gladly leave you out there though.”

“C’mon, Kingsley, don’t do me like that.” Sirius whined. “Let us in, come on!”

“Don’t be rude.” James said, setting Neville down, much to their mutual dissatisfaction. “Good to see you, boys.”

“Glad we finally made it.” Remus said, shooting a pointed look in Sirius’ direction, which went ignored.

“Speaking of big kids…” Benjy drawled, before nearly getting knocked over by Sirius. “Hey! That only works on the ice.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t try off it.” Sirius shrugged, grinning playfully at Remus. “Stop looking at me like I’ve committed murder, Lupin. I’m just having a bit of fun.”

“Sirius, Remus. Glad to see you could make it.” Lily said fondly.

“Did you hear the news, Remus?” Benjy could hardly keep himself from laughing. “Our boy bagged a reporter.”

“They’re roommates.” Kingsley added. “Oh, Jamie, you are playing with fire.”

“I think congratulations are in order, Cap.” Remus said warmly. “And you too, Lily. I’m happy for you guys.”

“Uh, you mean you turn me down, Lily, when I try so hard to make this happen, and then you two just go and do it yourselves?” Sirius said, eyes wide. “Are you kidding me? I try to be nice one time and you two just DIY the fuck out of my good deed for the year?”

“Children, Sirius.” 

“Sorry. DIY the frick out of my good deed for the year.” Sirius nodded sagely at Neville. “Remember, Neville. We do not say the f word.”

Neville nodded seriously.

“The real f word is failure.” Felix said gravely. “Remember that too.”

At the sound of Felix’s voice, Neville wandered over to him, grabbing handfuls of Felix’s pants in his little fist, and everyone, having learned to leave it well enough alone over the course of the season, said nothing as Felix smoothed Neville’s hair down, a gentle smile on his face.

“Can’t fight destiny, Sirius.” Lily said loftily, obviously enjoying the way he was getting worked up.

“Destiny.” Sirius scowled. “I figured you out before destiny even had a chance.”

“Enough, boys, come on.” James said. He looked around the room, smiling at the sight of so many familiar faces. He hadn’t expected this many of them to turn up on a weekday evening, but he was a lucky man -- his coworkers were incredible, absolutely beyond compare. “We couldn’t have made it to the Cup without all of us in this room and many people who aren’t, partners and kids included. You do more of the heavy lifting than we do and hardly get the credit you deserve. Every one of us sacrificed something to win and it was worth it. Thank you all for your dedication and hard work this season. You will be paid in food. And before you ask again, it is safe to eat because Sirius was not involved in any way in making it.”

“Hey!” Sirius cut in. He scrunched up his nose in disgust, casting a disapproving glance around the room. “I’m a great cook!”

“What you did wasn’t cooking, Sirius.” Felix spoke up, earning a gasp from Sirius, who had not expected a betrayal despite everything he knew about Felix.

“Thank God.” Frank exhaled hard. “Man, you know, I-- I love being helpful and all that, but I was wondering whether we should even come when you said paid in food. I don’t wanna die again. Once was enough.”

“It was a mistake.” James acknowledged. “I realized that after I’d sent the email. And you can’t take back emails, so…”

“Oh, no.” Lily winced. “Do I even want to know?”

“We had, uh, a team picnic.” James said, before shaking his head. “Felix, you’ll do the story justice.”

“Sirius Black doesn’t know how to cook and insists on forcing us to consume whatever rubbish comes out of his kitchen in the name of ‘sharing’.” Felix scoffed and couldn’t help but laugh when little Neville Longbottom imitated him flawlessly. “I’d rather kill myself. So I told him that, and that may have been why he tried to poison me afterward.”

“It sounds like he’s being dramatic.” Tage said, easily ignoring Felix’s ensuing scowl. “But this time he’s right. Sirius nearly killed us all. Don’t ever trust anything from his kitchen. Only shit he buys from the store and had nothing to do with.” 

“Don’t say shit, Tage.” Felix counseled. “There are children about.”

“Thanks for the tip.” Lily said, more amused than she let on. 

“You remember the loss to Dallas in February?” Felix’s eyes narrowed to mere flashes of steely gray in his pale face. “Five goals to two, both of them by Cap, one unassisted. You media people were wondering why he was the only one on his game. He didn’t eat it. Not only did Sirius poison us, he ruined a game.” He scowled, an expression so familiar that he seemed to sink into it like a comfortable chair. “It must’ve been an inside deal. Those Dallas boys are despicable.”

“Oh my God.” Lily covered her mouth, trying not to laugh. “So, James knew not to trust the food and let them take the fall anyway?” 

“I’m not going to say he likes sowing the seeds of discord, but he called it ‘taking one for the team for the team’. Highly suspect, if you ask me, but he’s always been a little strange that way.” Jess said, bouncing Claire, who was feeling rather crabby, in her arms. “His rookie year, he nearly took Benjy’s eye out. Said he was just prodding him with the stick for fun, didn’t anticipate him turning around. But that’s just a case of being nineteen, am I right?”

“Nineteen year old boys should not be trusted with big sticks.” Alice pointed out, shaking her head. “But Benjy kept his eye, so it all worked out in the end.”

“I’m going to need more James stories.” Lily admitted. 

“Then you’ve come to the right people.” Alice beamed. “We’ve got the goods. Usually just takes a few drinks and the team stories start flying.”

“He’s a good kid.” Jess laughed. “Keeps his mouth shut, doesn’t do anything too embarrassing. We’ve got the dirt on him, of course, but it’s all old, pretty much useless dirt.”

“I wouldn’t try to use anything you told me.” Lily said, flushing. She looked over at James, who was agitatedly waving a spatula at Felix, who was loudly mounting an argument that using hand sanitizer was not just equal to, but better than washing his hands. “I just...I like hearing about him from other people. It paints a different picture, lets me know him in new ways, I guess.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that.” Jess said, obviously embarrassed. “It’s things you can’t use to tease him with, I mean, since he’s gotten over them.” Claire laid a wet, slobbery kiss on her cheek. “Someone’s got to give him a good shaking up every once in awhile to keep his ego in check.”

“Besides, if James trusts you enough to date you, so do we.” Alice said gently, earning a nod from Jess. “We’ll all have to go out sometime, grab some drinks and get to know one another. I think you’d get along well with the others, too.”

“I’d like that.” Lily nodded, smiling at the other woman. 

“All right, all right, I promised food, so I’ll get that set out.” James rubbed his hands together. “Before Felix asks, yes, there are vegetables in here, because what the hell else would I put in there? And before Tage throws a fit about it, you’ve got to learn to eat vegetables eventually, Petey. Might as well be today. All of you with kids that can eat solid food, I’ve got a list of allergens figured out.” He turned toward the kitchen before realizing something, yelling back over his shoulder at everyone. “Bathroom’s down the hall! Anyone who doesn’t wash their hands doesn’t get fed!”

“If you need decoration help, Felix’s got you.” Frank nudged Felix’s shoulder. “He’s a real wizard about that shit, eh, Felix?”

“Just because I take things a little more seriously than you, mister Harley Davidson poster, doesn’t mean I’m a wizard at decoration.” Felix rolled his eyes. “It just means I have taste.”

“No fighting at the dinner table.” James warned. “Or there will be consequences.”

“Yes, father.” Felix rolled his eyes. “We’ll keep quiet.”

“They’re a handful.” Alice said, beaming across the table from Lily. “But they’re our handful. Welcome to the club.”

* * *

Once everyone had left and the dinner mess was cleaned up, James and Lily collapsed together on the couch. Without giving it much thought, Lily lifted James’ good arm so it was draped around her shoulders, earning her a smile from James and a kiss to the temple. She snuggled into his side, enjoying the warmth and solidity of his body against hers as they sat together.

“So, that went well.” Lily offered in the sudden silence, which was almost overwhelming compared to the happy chaos of having his teammates and friends around. “Except the part where I blurted out that we’re together. I’m sorry for that, babe. We should’ve discussed it beforehand.” 

“It’s all right. Don’t worry.” James laughed. “You’ve got more to lose from this than me. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to say it. I’m happier with them knowing.”

“Yeah? Me too. I’ll be happy when everyone knows and we’ve got it all out of the way.” 

“We’ve just got a little longer to wait, I’d say. Get the Awards done with and the summer’s ours.” James smiled. “Gotta do it before we show up to G and Sam’s wedding, though. So we are officially on crunch time.”

“Good thing we’re both stellar under pressure. Lily said a little dryly. “And I’m even happier to be done with the Times.” Lily admitted, the words rushing out of her. She shook her head, before resting it against James’ chest. “It was too hard, seeing what the press does to you, being part of that, and pretending I was okay with it. It’s better for me to start something new.”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine.” James shook his head. “Being on the other side of it, that must be hard too. I can’t imagine thinking up all of those questions and knowing how to make whole articles out of just like… something that one guy said that might not even be about what it ends up being about. It sounds like a hell of a job.”

“I enjoyed that part of it, actually.” Lily couldn’t help but smile at James’ perception of her job. “It was just getting to be too much, trying to write about you like I’m not also in love with you. Too messy.”

“That’s very hard, from what I understand.” He grinned. “Being in love with me is such a chore to begin with, isn’t it? James Potter accidentally inspires his team to win and now I have to write this article at midnight: a series.”

“The absolute worst.” Lily grinned, kissing him soundly. 

“Now you don’t have to worry about thinking about us unless you want to.” James teased. “Although I’d prefer you think of me often, I promise I won’t be offended if I don’t occupy all of your time anymore.”

“Thank you for being so understanding.” Lily remarked, wanting to laugh at how absolutely light and free she felt, sitting here like this, absolutely head over heels in love with the man sitting next to her. “I should have plenty of time to think about you while I job hunt, so rest easy.”

“I’ll just have to make you think of me enough to make up for it.” He winked. “Ah, man, once my shoulder’s back, there’ll be plenty of fun to go around.”

“I can’t wait.” Lily said, waggling her eyebrows just to make him laugh. “But really, I feel like everything’s happened in a whirlwind. How are you feeling these days?” Lily tried and failed at sounding casual.

“Is this about the Toronto thing?” James asked, shaking his head. “Lily, I swear, it isn’t worth the time you spend worrying about it. It happened. I lost my shit for a bit. I’m okay with it now.”

“You’d tell me if you weren’t, though, right?” 

“The Parade… the Parade was rough. I didn’t like that. Too many eyes on me and stuff.” James admitted. “I just-- I don’t want to think about it. It was… it was embarrassing, you know? You seeing me like that.”

“I’m not trying to tell you how to feel here, I just… I don’t want you to feel embarrassed about anything you do in front of me. Because there’s a lot of road ahead of us, and you’re gonna see me at my most vulnerable, babe, and it’s not going to be pretty. But I trust you with it.” Lily said quietly. “Not that I think it’s a trust thing on your end.” Lily huffed out a breath. “I’m messing this up pretty spectacularly.” 

“Nah, I get what you mean. I know I shouldn’t feel like I did something wrong, but I do, you know?” He sighed. “It still feels like I put a lot of shit on you that you didn’t ask for and that’s true, in its own way.”

“I’d rather you put it on me than on your own, okay? We kind of make an awesome team here.” She said lightly. 

“We do.” James kissed her forehead. “Where’s our Cup, huh?”


	2. A Whole Lot of Hart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily breaks the news that she's dating James to Dorcas and Marlene which earns mixed reactions, the Evans and Potter parents are told that James and Lily are dating, and it's time for the NHL Awards!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Welcome back this week. We've got a lot going on, and I think I speak for both of us when I say we can't wait to hear what you think. Enjoy!

Lily sat waiting at Last Drop Cafe, poking at her food and feeling more than a little apprehensive as she waited for Dorcas and Marlene to show up. This talk was long overdue, not only because Dorcas and Marlene were longtime coworkers, but also friends. Their schedules hadn’t matched up until now, and Lily wondered how they would take the news not only about her leaving the Times, but her reasons for doing so.

Lily had just taken her first real bite of food when she spotted Dorcas and Marlene approaching. They walked hand in hand, seemingly in their own little world until they opened the door to the cafe and spotted Lily, who had purposefully chosen the window seat.

“You’re really leaving?” Marlene asked before sliding into the booth so she was across from Lily. Marlene’s normally teasing, friendly nature had been wiped away, replaced with concern that was practically radiating from her.

Marlene followed, frowning as she settled her purse on the seat next to her, .

“Yeah, it’s true. I’m out at the Times.” Lily admitted, shoving her plate aside, no longer able to eat with the way they were looking at her.

“What happened? It was so sudden. Was it Skeeter?” Marlene demanded, while Dorcas remained quiet. “Look, I know she’s a complete dick, but that doesn’t mean you have to leave.”

“It wasn’t Skeeter.” Lily rushed to explain. “It had to do with a conflict of interest on my end.” At Marlene’s confused frown, Lily added. “I’ve been seeing James for a few months and it wasn’t… it got to be too much. Trying to maintain both. It couldn’t work out.”

“Seeing James?” Marlene said, her voice coming out high and excited, the same way it normally did when she was let in on a good piece of gossip.

“So you chose him.” Dorcas remarked quietly, speaking for the first time.

Lily folded her hands neatly on the table, taking in the firm set of Dorcas’ shoulders, as well as the quiet anger in the way she regarded Lily.

“That’s one way to put it.” Lily allowed. “I’m guessing you have some thoughts?”

“I think you’re making a mistake.” Dorcas admitted bluntly. “You love the Times. Is it perfect? No. But you’ve never talked about quitting before now.”

“You don’t have to tell me how I felt about it.” Lily countered quietly, attempting to keep her voice even. “Things change.”

“I guess they do.” Dorcas muttered, flagging the waitress for coffee.

“What Dorcas means to say.” Marlene said, sounding overly bright. “Is congratulations. On James. And whatever you’ll be doing next.”

“You don’t have to speak for me, Mar.” Dorcas placed a gentle hand over Marlene’s before eyeing Lily again. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same. I think you leaving is a mistake.”

“You’ve made that clear. I get it, Dorcas.”

“I don’t think you do.” Dorcas shook her head. “You’re giving up something you love after how many months of dating? What happens if this goes south and you’re left without a backup?”

“Is this actually about me leaving, or your spat with James? Because I’m sure about leaving the Times.” Lily said firmly. “Even if James and I don’t work out, career moves are not the end of the world. But if I had to gamble on this, I’m going to put money on me and James.”

“He’s a good guy, Dorcas, Twitter nonsense aside.” Marlene said quietly. “We’re her friends, we should at least be happy about that.”

“Fine.” Dorcas held Marlene’s gaze for a long moment before looking to Lily. “I might not love that you’re leaving, but congratulations.”

“Don’t strain yourself, trying to sound sincere.” Lily replied, feeling her temper fray.

“I am trying, as your friend.” Dorcas pointed out. “What else do you want from me?”

“For you to be happy for me. Really happy, Dorcas. And mean it.” Lily said, voice growing louder. “I found an amazing friend, who happens to be an equally great boyfriend and you’re acting like I’m an irresponsible child who doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“I’m just worried--”

“Well if all of this goes to hell, you can be the first one in line with an _I told you so_ banner, okay?” Lily stood up and began digging around in her pocket for cash to throw on the table. “Until then, I’ll see you both later.”

Lily left the cafe, flinging the door open violently on her way out, without a backwards glance, too angry to care what she left in her wake.

* * *

 

[17:43] James: I want to make sure you know something before the papers get it

[17:44] James: I also want to apologize for keeping it from you this long but I needed to be sure

[17:57] Appa: we accept you however you are and are sorry you and peter had to end like that

[18:04] James: what

[18:05] Appa: I am kidding please continue

[18:07] James: this is why i never tell you anything

[18:08] Amma: Your father is an idiot. Please tell me privately at least

[18:10] Appa: I am sitting in the living room please come fight with me verbally. It takes too much time to do here. I can only type so fast

[18:11] James: okay before this gets out of hand you need to know three things: 1) i am dating a GIRL, 2) her name is lily evans and she used to work for the seattle times, 3) remus is completely and totally fine and should be back oct/nov time

[18:12] Amma: Thank god I was worried about Remus

[18:14] Appa: Does she follow hockey

[18:16] James: Gets paid to do it

[18:17] Appa: Therein lies the explanation

[18:18] James: Are you saying my hockey skills are better than my everything else skills

[18:20] Appa: You called it everything else skills. QED

[18:21] Amma: Very glad for you. I hope we will get to meet her soon. How long has this been going on

[18:23] James: Shortly before end of reg season. April beginning

[18:24] Amma: So that is a few months now. That is nice. Are you getting along

[18:25] James: Of course. She’s moved in & we are enjoying ourselves safely + responsibly

[18:26] Amma: Separate bedrooms ?

[18:30] James: Yes

[18:31] Appa: Good. None of that until marriage. Have u discussed

[18:32] James: we’ve been dating just abt three months ma. I have not

[18:33] Amma: I saw your father twice and was perfectly fine

[18:34] Appa: Wow… perfectly fine must have different meanings ;)

[18:35] James: I’ll let you take the fall yourself for that one. Enjoy

* * *

 

[17:32] Lily: Hey, guys. How’ve you been?

[17:33] Mom: What’s wrong?

[17:36] Lily: Nothing? I’m literally just saying hi, ma

[17:40] Mom: You don’t check in without a reason. Back me up here, Paul

[17:42] Dad: She has a point, Lil. You haven’t been coming around as much lately

[17:45] Lily: Okay, so we’re not doing pleasantries. I just wanted to let y’all know I have a boyfriend

[17:46] Mom: I’m calling you

[17:47] Mom: Lily, turn up your ringer

* * *

 

“Hey, Mom. Dad.”

“Lily, are you knocked up?” Linda Evans demanded, forgoing the usual pleasantries like saying hello or asking how Lily was doing generally.

Despite over twenty years of experience with her mom, Lily was left sputtering, holding the phone away from her ear for a second as she stared at the device in exasperation before holding it against her ear once more.

“Holy shit, I’m not pregnant.”

“Watch your mouth.” Her parents uttered in unison, and for a long moment, Lily was sure she had somehow landed herself in hell.

“Sorry. I, uh, no? I’m not pregnant. I’m seeing someone and he’s important, so…”

“You never told us about anyone in the past.” Her mom said, still sounding suspicious. “Is it serious?”

“It’s… kind of, yeah? Yeah.” Lily managed. “His name is James. He plays for the Metros, and we decided it would be good to let our parents know. So, here we are.”

“You’re dating the captain of the team?” Paul Evans said, sounding so disappointed Lily’s heart clenched a little. It was no surprise to her that he guessed right away exactly who James was. Both her parents followed hockey, and mentioning the Metros and his first name was a dead giveaway. Lily knew that and still felt a little sick at their judgement.

“A hockey player? Oh, Lily, sweetheart, I thought you learned your lesson.” Her mom tsked.

“Look.” Lily drew in a deep, calming breath. “He’s nothing like Severus, okay? He’s…” _Kind. Generous. Beautiful_. “He’s a good man.” She said firmly. “And I’d like you both to be happy for me because I am.”

There was a long beat of silence during which Lily picked at one of her nails and waited for her parents to say something.

Finally, her father let out a breath and said, “Sounds like it’s a good fit. You’d have to be with someone who loves hockey as much as you.”

“I think he loves it even more than I do, if that’s possible.” Lily replied, smiling as she pressed the phone to her ear.

“Now, how does that work, with your job and everything?” Her mom asked, popping the little bubble of happiness Lily had been previously clinging to for those precious few seconds.

“That’s the other thing I wanted to tell you…” Lily began cautiously.

“Oh, honey, no.” Her mother said in the grating tone Lily had heard since being scolded as a child.

“Mom, I didn’t even give you my news yet.” Lily said, feeling snappish and defensive. “I left the Times, okay? There. Now you can use your _I’m disappointed in you_ voice.”

“Well I am disappointed!” Linda snapped back as Lily began pacing the length of her bedroom, preparing for the onslaught. “How long did it take, Lily, for this boy to flash his lifestyle at you, for you to completely lose your mind and give up that job?”

“Mom, stop it.”

“I’m looking out for you, Lily.” Her mom said, still on the offensive. “You’ve known this boy a few months and you give up a job you love, for what? What kind of relationship is this where you’re sacrificing so much while he gets to play-- ”

“I love him.” Lily said, feeling sad and small. It made her feel like a teenager, defending this to them, and she hated it. “I don’t know where this is going. I don’t have all the answers, but I love him and he’s worth it.”

“Well, you’re making a mistake.” Her mother said crisply.

“Dad.” Lily said, sniffling now to keep the tears in check. “You’ve been awfully quiet. Wanna chime in about how I’m royally fucking up?”

“Lily!” Her mother shrieked.  
  
“Lily.” Her dad said softly. “Your mother and I just worry, that’s all. We want you to be sure. So, are you sure, sweetheart? Is this what you want?”

“Yes.” Lily said without hesitation. She wiped hastily at her cheeks, brushing away the tears that gathered there. “I want to make this career change and I want James by my side. That’s all.”

“Then that’s all there is too it. Isn’t that right, Linda?”

“That’s right.” Lily’s mom let out a small sigh on the other end of the phone.

“Great. So, now you’re both in the loop. And I… I have to go.”

“Lily, don’t go off in a huff now.”

“I’m not. I just have somewhere to be. We’ll talk later.” Lily lied, disconnecting before they could say their goodbyes properly.

* * *

 

James’ room was shrouded in darkness, without even the TV on, as the two of them carefully tangled together in bed, mindful of his bad shoulder.

“Got any plans? For while I’m gone?” James’ suitcase lay half-zipped in the corner of the room, socks and underwear hanging out of it at awkward angles. He’d sworn, the moment he and Lily had finished checking through the list of things he thought he’d need for the fourth time, that he was going to touch it next right before he left for the NHL Awards and not a moment sooner. “Remus is still here for a while, I think. So he’s around. There’s Jess and Alice around too.”

“I’ll stop by and see Remus, definitely. I have vague plans to meet up with Jess and Alice for dinner.” Lily rattled off as James’ thumb traced the curve of her hip. “Mostly, I’ll be polishing my resume, and checking out a million books from the library to catch up on my reading.” Lily placed a kiss on his temple. “Wish I could be there with you.”

“If we’re in the business of polishing things, I’ll be sure to bring home a trophy or two.” James joked. “I wish you could be there too. It’d be easier with you.” His smile fell. “It’s stressful as hell. It’s not just the reporters you know, it’s everyone’s people out there. You don’t know what they’re going to ask or what they’re going to say...” He trailed off, the familiar rumble of anxiety making itself known, rattling his bones like a shock wave. “It’s all easier with you.”

“How about this? We shun all responsibilities and never leave this bed.” Lily said, smiling as she pressed her face into his neck, planting a kiss there. James relaxed instantly, letting out all the tension in his body with a deep breath. “Just you and me, with the downside of no hockey and withering away from malnutrition.”

“I can live with that.” James grinned, burying his face in her hair. She’d been stealing his shampoo recently and still thought he hadn’t noticed. He was more than willing to play the fool, when it came to her. “I’ll get bored enough to cook eventually, and we’ve got plenty of stuff to work with in the freezer. I think we can last a couple weeks.”

“Maybe a couple weeks would be enough.” Lily offered. “And then maybe next year I’ll be with you for the awards.”

“That’s if I do something worth awards next year.” James shrugged. “This year’s a hell of a fluke.”

“A lot of hard work.” Lily countered.

“You give me too much credit.” The words fell from his lips near effortlessly, a practiced response to a question he had fielded for years.

“You don’t give yourself enough, babe. Someone has to.”

“I’m lucky you left the Times, seeing as I’m going to need a lot of reminding.” James leaned in for a kiss. “At least it’s only a few days. Not like I’m going to be away forever.”

“I’m still feeling mushy about it.” Lily admitted. “I’ll miss you, and then before I know it you’ll be back, and it’ll still be our summer.”

“This is going to make leaving so much harder, next season.” James shook his head. “God, look at me, thinking too far ahead again. I can’t help it.”

“I like it, if that helps any. I do the same. Always looking down the road with us, without noticing sometimes, you know?”

“You can’t know where you’re headed if you haven’t looked first.” James said. “It’s why we make a good team, like you said.”

“The best team.” Lily agreed.

In the darkness, she felt around gently with both hands until she was able to lean in, pressing her lips to his, enjoying the way their bodies shifted so easily for better access. It was her way of saying goodbye, even if only for a few days.

* * *

 

“If they surprise us with another expansion draft, I will shit about twelve bricks.” Jess Fenwick grumbled. “We’ve got enough teams, Bettman. Quit talking out your ass and give Seattle our moment!”

“He looks like a sad gremlin.” Alice Longbottom shook her head. “I can’t imagine living life with the knowledge that literally everyone thinks you’re useless. He’s got money though, he doesn’t need approval.”

“He’s laughing all the way to the bank.” Lily agreed, settling in next to Alice on the couch.

It was good having company while James was away. The apartment didn’t feel quite so big and empty with the presence of the other two, who had large enough personalities to fill it without even trying.

“Anyone want drinks?” Lily offered. “You name it, I’ve got it. Beer, wine, soda, water.”

“If any of us get up, they’ll do all the awards before we come back.” Alice winced. “This show is cursed.”

“Plus, I want to see McDavid’s face when James takes the stage for Seattle.” Jess grinned. “Poor guy, he’s really just gotten slammed all of his career. That’s what you get for an untradeable contract, I guess.”

“The next time someone tells me Canadians are nice, I’m giving them your number, Jess.” Alice laughed. “You’re all vicious. Just quieter about it than we are.”

“Gaudreau is a fucking god and McDavid looks like a thumb with a patchy beard. Try again.”

“Guys, come on, the real stuff’s starting!”

The trio quieted down as the coverage began. It wasn’t until it was time to interview the three Hart award nominees that James appeared, hands jammed in his pockets, with a tight smile for the cameras.

“James Potter. Let’s have a hart to hart here.”

The audience laughed and Lily groaned as, on TV, James looked down at the ground as if hiding his reaction. Lily covered her hands with her face. “I can’t look. That was so bad.”

“A hart’s a male deer. And, uh, we don’t have one of those. For good reason. That’s illegal.”

The interviewer laughed, before mentioning James’ accomplishments, including his Calder win as a rookie, and rounding it off with the Stanley Cup. Lily’s hands began to sweat as James shifted from one foot to the other, managing a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“So, James. Between the Calder and now, it took you awhile to get back here, didn’t it?”

“As we all know, I like a dramatic entrance, and, uh, winning the Cup seemed like a good one.” James shrugged.

The audience burst into applause and Lily let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

“It certainly was. Let’s take a look at your highlights from this year, okay?”

By the time the highlights had drawn to a close, James was back in his seat, whispering something to his mother before sitting up straighter and looking toward the stage, having obviously realized just then that the cameras would be on him. Just before the cameras cut away, his father placed a hand on his shoulder and James shot him a smile, obviously feeling a little more at ease.

“Oh, we can mute this now.” Jess did so and then threw the remote aside. “They’re just going to Hartblock us for the entire rest of this and all we really care about is whether Sirius wins the Lindsay or not.”

“I hear Moody got himself an Adams nomination.” Alice said dryly. “Where’s the applause for that one?”

“Right after the applause for Dumbledore’s imaginary GM of the Year nomination.” Jess rolled her eyes. “Moody’s got some waiting in line to do.”

Lily laughed, passing the bowl of popcorn to Jess, who took it with a smile.

“Thanks for coming over tonight, both of you. It would’ve just been me sad bastarding it through the whole thing.” Lily admitted. “I’d like to say that I take James leaving with some grace, but really I have none. It’s always hard, even for stuff like this.”

“It’s always hard, the leaving.” Jess nodded, expression softening in sympathy. “I’d like to say you get used to it, but you just end up filling your life with so much stuff that you almost don’t notice. Work, kids, friends… Just overcommit and you won’t even think about him some days.”

“Or start a clothing company. That seems to be the default.” Alice cut in with a mischievous grin.

“I’m not so sure anyone would buy what I’d sell.” Lily grinned, gesturing at the shirt she was swimming in, which belonged to James. “But I’ll definitely keep it in mind.”

“Still not as ugly as the Stanley Cup ring they’ve got planned for the boys.” Alice shuddered. “Have you seen the pictures?”

“They’re awful.” Lily laughed, shaking her head at Alice’s expression of disgust. “It’s like they purposefully tried to outdo themselves with how ugly they could make them.”

“The most entertaining response, if the group chat is to believed, is Sirius saying ‘beat me to death with it, that’s the only thing it’s good for’.” Jess said, holding out her phone so that Alice and Lily could see the screenshot Benjy had sent her. “I don’t get why everyone thinks these guys are such great examples for the community or whatever. Look at them, they’re all babies.”

"Oh my god, Sirius.” Lily nearly choked on her popcorn. “They are babies, though. If babies had way too much money and played a violent sport.” She agreed.

“Remus is the only good man among them, and I can say that with confidence.” Jess laughed. “All right, maybe Frankie too, Alice. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Frank has done maybe two wrong things in his life. And they’re both pretty large maybes.” Alice retorted. “He’s doing pretty okay for himself.”

“And we all know I’m incredibly biased, but James is good, as far as guys go. Who knew a hockey player would make such a great partner?” Lily mused thoughtfully. “You always hear horror stories about these guys, but he’s so sweet and genuine.”

“He’s precious.” Alice agreed. “Even back in junior, he was the same way. Of course, he was also tiny back then, so sweet and genuine was kind of his territory.”

“And how did that work out?” Jess asked curiously.

“He and Daly were horrible wingmen for each other, that’s how that worked out.” Alice laughed. “I like to tell people that I’m one of the few people that’s seen Graeme Daly nervous.”

“I can’t imagine G nervous about anything.” Lily admitted. “But they were still kids back then with a lot of growing up to do.”

“The confidence hit him hard around seventeen and he never looked back.” Alice said fondly. “He and Frank look forward to being paired up occasionally when Team Canada plays. You never think about how close the defensemen get, playing together constantly, but those two miss each other like limbs when the season’s on. Doesn’t stop them from beating each other to near death when they see each other, but everyone’s got flaws.”

“Like Daly could kill a man.” Jess scoffed. “Look at him, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him not smiling in basically his entire career.”

“You know if he heard you say that, he’d have to nearly kill a man on the ice.” Lily pointed out with a smile.

“He and James are still close, aren’t they?” Jess asked. “I still remember Daly celebrating that goal in St. Louis. The poor guy got dragged by everyone and their mother.”

“Yeah, they’re still buds. They’ve kept up with one another, and I’ve been friends with his fiance basically forever, so it works out well.”

“Oh, man, I remember hearing all about that when it was first happening.” Alice shook her head. “They always joke about friendships from junior being forever, but holy hell, they really are.”

“Those two are still hanging on, that’s for sure.” Lily nodded.

“Frank’s already buzzing about the wedding too.” Alice said. “Are you two going?” Something occurred to her and she looked a little nervous when she spoke next. “Oh boy. Do G and Sam know about you two?”

“We’re going.” Lily confirmed. “And, uh, not yet? We’re telling them soon.” Lily rushed to explain.

“Not yet?” Alice burst into laughter. “Oh my god. G is going to die when he finds out James told Frank about you before him. And this is the man who dealt with realizing he was in love by texting Sam, and I quote, ‘u tryna fuck lol’.”

Lily covered her mouth with both hands and burst out laughing. “I never heard that particular detail. I’m dying.”

“Oh boy. Then the boys are going to have some details for you.” Alice shook her head. “Because G was _constantly_ texting Frank about whether he should do shit after he’d done it and Frank would just die laughing.”

“I can’t wait.” Lily admitted, recovering from her laughter. “The wedding’s going to be a blast. It’ll be good to catch up and hang out.”

“We’re still torn about whether to bring Neville, seeing as Jordy’ll be there.” Alice said. “God, he’s a menace. You’d never know it by looking at him.”

“Looks like Sirius got that Lindsay.” Jess, who had pulled out her phone just to check that the sitter hadn’t texted and ended up on Twitter instead, said. “Aww, look at that gif, he looks so happy.”

Muting the show seemed to almost make it go faster, and before Lily fully grasped how much time had gone by, Jess was hurriedly unmuting the television with fear in her eyes. She heaved a sigh of relief as the announcer took the stage, smiling wide in the same guileless way her husband did.

“Thank god. That was a close call, huh? We did it.”

“The nominees for the Hart Memorial Trophy are… Stanley Cup champion, Captain James Potter, Lucius Malfoy of the Chicago Blackhawks, and Noah Simpson of the Detroit Red Wings. All these guys have had incredible seasons, but only one of them has a Cup, so the other two have some stiff competition. Only one of them can take home the biggest trophy of the night, and it’s going to be… James Potter of the Seattle Metropolitans!”

The camera focused, for what seemed to be the millionth time of the night, on James as he shook hands with his father and awkwardly patted his mother on the shoulder before quickly making his way to the stage, stopping along the way to shake hands with a few friends seated in the rows ahead of him. He looked entirely unprepared and quite shocked as they handed him the trophy, walking up to the microphone with something akin to confusion on his face.

“Oh fuck, he’s got to make a speech.” Jess whispered. “Did he prepare?”

“Shit.” Lily cursed under her breath. “No, he did not.”

“I knew on some level that this award came with a speech, but, uh, as you can see, I didn’t think I was going to win it, so I didn’t prepare. Thankfully, we didn’t take that same approach with the Cup run this year.” James waited a moment for the cheering in the crowd to subside. “I’d like to thank the organization and my teammates for giving me the chance I needed to set career highs this year. It’s an honor to work alongside the caliber of people I get to every day.”

He paused for a moment, looking out among the crowd as he bit his lip, but once his eyes settled on his parents, the stiff set of his shoulders relaxed just a bit.

Lily felt herself relaxing with him. She knew this night made him into one big ball of anxiety, but there he was, being rewarded for his work, and handling it like the champion he was. She wished, more than anything, that she could have been there with him, hold his hand in front of everyone and silently show the world how proud she was to be with James Potter, as his friend and girlfriend.

 _Next year_ , she vowed silently. _Or any year after that_.

“I, and so many others around the league, am so proud of Noah and Lucius for the seasons they’ve had. They’ve both done an incredible job this year. It takes a lot to succeed in this game, and they’ve both got success figured out.”

The cameras panned to Lucius Malfoy, who Lily knew Sam would be booing her heart out at, busy dandling his equally blonde child on his knee, and then to Noah Simpson, whose rise to glory in Detroit Lily was still following, thanks to her soft spot for her childhood team.

“Lastly, I’d like to thank our fans in Seattle. They said we couldn’t do it and we did. All of us were a part of every win and every goal, from the beginning to the end. We could not have done it without the knowledge that our fans are the best in the world. So, uh, thanks everybody for making this a good night for me. Get home safe.”

James nearly sprinted off the stage, returning to shake the presenter’s hand with an apologetic look on his face, before continuing off backstage.

“Impressive haul for the Metros! Sirius got the Lindsay, James got a Hart, we’ve all got a Cup.” Alice smiled. “It’s a good night for Seattle.”

* * *

 

Sirius Black Retweeted

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 22 Jun 2025

Congrats to Lindsay Award winner Sirius Black @seriousblack91. Excellent teammate and better friend. Only greater things ahead for this guy. Proud to be his captain.

 

Sirius Black Retweeted

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 22 Jun 2025

Those of you who voted for me for the Hart: there’s still time to change your vote. My mom says to double check which bubble you filled in. (From the bottom of my heart with an e, thank you very much. I am so honored.)

 

James Potter Retweeted

Graeme Daly @dalynotdaley ● 22 Jun 2025

That’s my boy. We’ve known you were the MVP for a long time. Glad the league finally caught up.

 

[Attached: A picture of James Potter getting cake shoved in his face by Sam.]

 

James Potter Retweeted

Remus Lupin @rjlupin1997 ● 12 Jun 2025

Proud to call James Potter my captain and even prouder to call him my friend. You deserve the best, bud.

NHL Awards: James Potter of Seattle Metropolitans wins Hart

* * *

 

Metropolitans captain takes home league MVP honors after a 102-point season

By Dorcas Meadowes - 23 June 2025

On the heels of his first Stanley Cup championship, Metropolitans winger James Potter suddenly found himself with more hardware last night at the NHL Awards. James Potter, even without the addition of star center Sirius Black during the last offseason, had been a perennial top ten candidate for league MVP, but finally made his case for a Hart win this season.

After being the centerpiece of the Metropolitans’ offense from the very beginning of his career, many suggested that all Potter needed to truly excel (if three 30+ goal seasons before the age of 23 count as not excelling) was a little less responsibility on his shoulders, and it seems that the addition of Sirius Black was the final push Potter needed to break the forty goal mark for the first time in his career. He also collected fifty-eight assists, netting him one hundred and two points on the season. This is a career best, but as Potter said last night, “it’s not the best you’re going to see from [him], that’s for sure”.

That wasn’t the only excitement in Potter’s life last night -- in addition to being honored as captain of the 2025 Stanley Cup winning Metropolitans team, he placed in the top three in voting for the Ted Lindsay Award (given to the most valuable players as voted in by the Professional Hockey Writers’ Association) behind teammate Sirius Black (who went on to win) and fell just short of winning the Art Ross (given to the league leader in points). At the age of twenty-three, he has a lot more playing to do, and he’s not likely to slow down any time soon.

“Five seasons in the league, yeah, and this is how the fifth one ends. It’s an incredible reward that I haven’t earned, for sure.” Potter says, when asked about the Metropolitans’ win. After a few hiccups during the Conference Championship and Finals series that he attributes to stress and fatigue setting in, he is finding his balance after a monumental win. “I think it says a lot that we have a team that is able to succeed both with and despite me. [Potter laughs.] There’s no one player that changes the outcome of a game. We all take it on ourselves to do our best and not be too harsh on ourselves if we don’t.”

“It’s not about me. It’s about the team… I don’t know how many people played that parachute game back in elementary school… everybody’s gotta be lifting together to make the parachute go up. That’s how the team works. Honestly, I feel like I’m the person trapped under there at the moment, because I’m the one you’re all looking at.” Potter said, when asked about his award last night. “But I wouldn’t have the chance to be up here without my team giving me the space and situation I needed to play my game to my best ability, so really, this isn’t an individual award. Every award is a team honor and this one most of all.”

Hear more about James Potter’s thoughts on the League, the Metropolitans’ Cup win, and what he expects from himself and his teammates going forward below:

[Attached: An embedded Soundcloud file titled “James Potter -- NHL Awards 2018 (Hart Win, Cup Run, 24-25 Season Retrospective)” posted by user dgmeadowes.]


	3. Let the Right One In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily dives into the job search, G and Sam learn that James and Lily are dating, and James sees a new, not entirely comfortable, side of Sirius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! This week we have a little of everything going on. Lily being the president of the I Love James Potter Club, wholesome friendships, and seeing a side to friends that we never have, and might not know what to do with. Enjoy!

“Ok, job search, let’s go.” 

Lily settled in on her bed, legs crossed as she hunched over her laptop. She was feeling pretty good, overall, about the job hunt. She’d done her best at the Times, learning as she went, and picking up the kind of skills needed to be competitive as she moved on. 

She’d sent a handful of résumés out a few days ago, and it was back to the waiting game. Lily played around with the document now, making sure her social media and best articles stood out, before applying to a local sports site looking to add another member.

While she idly searched, mostly going through the positions she’d already applied to, Lily’s mind went back to the recent comments from her family and Dorcas. She’d been thinking them over, probably more than she should, and she could concede that they had a point, even if the way they’d gone about it had lacked at least a little sensitivity. 

It was a huge leap for her, leaving her job and believing in this relationship so much, after only a few months, to not regret doing so in the slightest. Lily knew, without having to admit it to anyone, that if her friends had come to her with the same news, she would have reacted similarly, at the very least, asking how sure they could possibly be about such a big move. 

But Lily stuck by her answer. There was no way to know how far things would go with James. Only that the constant tug between loving him and the coverage of his career the Times required, was no longer doable. If they broke up in the future she still wouldn’t regret leaving the Times. There was no way she could cover him, or the others she had met and slowly begun to befriend, in a fair, unbiased way. There was no way she could look at James, be in the same room with him for the sake of work, if things ended between them, on good or bad terms. 

She was in too deep, in the best sense. She thought about his smile, the one the media was never privy too. And the way he looked at her across the dinner table, in the car, anywhere at all, so full of love and care. Or while they were in bed, wrapped up in each other like nothing else existed, speaking quietly as if anything louder might break the fragile bubble they found themselves in. She knew too much, had loved and been loved too thoroughly, to go back to anything else. 

So the only option was striking out. Putting her best foot forward and seeing what would stick. It felt a little too good to be true, things with James, even if there were bumps along the way, the potential for a new career. 

But Lily threw herself into both with the same unwavering enthusiasm and hope as she approached most things. It was only a matter of time before a job she could love came along.

* * *

 

“It’s time for RED DEER REUNION!” G roared, the second James accepted his call, howling a couple times for good measure. “What week are we free?”

“Any week, for you.” James smiled. “You need time for getting married and your honeymoon and shit, so maybe after? Have you asked Jordy about when he’s free?”

“I thought you’d do that.” G said, as sweetly as he could, and James could almost see him batting his eyelashes like a child. “Pretty please? I’m so busy getting married and stuff.”

“Says the man who forgot about it until I reminded him.” James teased. “Okay, I’ll text Jordy. We’re in Seattle this year, right?”

“Yes we are! STL, Brighton Sound, Seattle, STL, and last year was NYC, so it is you again. Stock up on snackage. Get ready for a full week of nothing but bro bonding and pretending we actually follow our offseason workout plans!”

“You don’t follow those?” James frowned.

“Oh, honey. Oh, sweetheart. I have too much work to do with you.” G clicked his tongue like a distressed mother. “All right, man. Gotta do some wedding planning shit. See you around, okay? Text me whenever.”

“You got it, man.” James couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Speaking of the wedding... I’m going to need a plus one.”

“A plus one…” G repeated, intrigued. “And would this plus one go by the name of Lily Evans?”

“Yeah.” James nodded. “Unless she’s not telling me something.”

G let out an excited shriek that nearly made James put down the phone.

“MY BABY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!”

“Yeah, yeah.” James muttered, trying to play it off as if it were no big deal. It was, in fact, a big deal, and both G and James knew better than to pretend it was not. “Come on, man. Be chill.”

“I’m being chill. I’m being chill.” G took a deep breath. “Okay. Chillness engaged. What else is up?”

“We’ll discuss the dates in the group chat, but I wanted to ask --  can Sam come along this time? ‘Cause, you know, Lily and all.” James said eagerly. 

If G agreed, it meant he thought Lily would still be there at the end of the summer, a little shimmer of hope that James now cautiously allowed himself to believe in. 

“For sure.” G laughed. “If we get our bro bonding, they should get theirs. That’s, like, feminism, right?”

“No.” James smiled fondly. “I don’t think that’s it.”

“All right, man, I gotta go Google flowers so I can pretend I’ve got an opinion on them. See ya.” G said. “I can hear the rumblings downstairs.”

“Dude, you’re gonna marry her! Quit talking about her like that.” James said. “Or I’ll let her kill you for her honor.”

“As my best man, I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to do that.” G pointed out, but raced down the stairs just the same. James shook his head, the loud thumps of G’s feet against the steps filtering through to him as if they were happening just feet away. “We love you anyway! Bye! Be good! Tell Lily hi for us and that we love you both!”

“Yep.” James said, before putting down the phone, feeling like summer could truly begin now. “Cool. I did that.”

* * *

 

**Sam Taylor**

 

So my almost husband just did a “my bro is getting laid” scream

Congrats to both of you

Was it at least decent

 

How do you know what the scream means?

What kind of almost married superpower…?

 

He’s like a baby, Lily. You learn what his different screams mean

Hungry scream, angry scream, blackhawks scored scream

Among those is “my bro is getting laid”

I hear it way too often thanks to Jordy

 

Omg I can only imagine

So, yeah

It’s… a thing

Kind of chaotic to go for it during the Cup run 

But I guess that’s our style

 

It’s a thing!!!

I’m proud of both of you

G is yelling at ur boyfriend on the stairs

Says he wants you to know that we love you and are proud

Statement is officially cosigned seeing as he didn’t ask me first

 

I feel like you two are my parents 

Signing off on my relationship

…….oh god my parents

Hey, Sam?

Ask G if you guys want to adopt me

So James never has to officially meet them

 

Idk maybe we should have that kids talk

LMAO who am i kidding we are going to avoid confrontation forever

We are not qualified

We cannot even properly raise our cat

So I’m gonna throw Jamie to the wolves & G will handle the fallout

Good luck y’all chose this life

 

Lol Sonic’s turned out just fine!

Okay I’m lying

Sonic’s a little weird

But y’all love him which is what matters

 

Sonic thinks he is a dog

That is a crucial problem

I have a lot of experience making bad decisions

And G has a lot of experience w ridiculous stupidity

So we make it work seeing as sonic is both

G says we’ll adopt you but that u have to promise undying loyalty

 

Done and done

I’ll fly James out to meet you guys

Instead of taking him to hell house to meet my bio fam

It all works out

 

I cannot wait for you to meet his parents

I met his parents on accident like once

And OH BOY

He will do fine in the hell house do not worry

Our boy has Experience™ 

 

First of all….good OH BOY?

Bad OH BOY??

I know he can reasonably handle my family but like

I don’t want to put him through that

Because I care about him 

And my family is...my family

 

I mean like. His dad is precious oh boy

And his mother is like a hell demon

So I would average both and go with dollar store oh boy

Yeah I mean Petunia needs to get dead Immediately so

I should’ve prefaced that w a no offense but like

Full offense I would fight her and win

 

So Mom Potter is the demon to look out for

Crucial information

Good to know

 

Her son had to get it from somewhere

 

And the no offense isn’t even remotely necessary

Petunia is what she is 

And that is A Heinous Bitch

 

OOOH SHOTS ARE FLYIN TODAY

Oh yeah Mom Potter has this like weird thousand yard stare

She looks exactly like James it will shock u for abt 20 mins

But once u get past that ur great

Still easier than that weird nephew u keep tellign me about

GOD I STILL CANT BELIEVE SOMEBODY MARRIED PETUNIA

 

She likes to throw it in my face at Thanksgiving

That she’s married

And it’s like, Dude his name is Vernon and he’s MISERABLE

I’ll pass

 

Her child is ugly as fuck like she shouldnt be proud of that

Literally looks like a beach ball w a $10 wig

I’m sorry there are ugly children in this world and he is one of them

How goes the Background Investigation? 

Do we have proof he’s in the KKK yet

 

A beach ball w a $10 wig

THIS IS WHY WE’RE FRIENDS

So far no solid proof

I’m going to slip it in one time over dinner tho

Like, Late for your Klan meeting?

And see what the results are

 

The metros won’t let his company donate anymore if u prove it

“Apolitical league” and all that 

Lmao i hate the NHL

Whats it even called? 

The drill people

G says he knows where Vernon should put that drill

 

The NHL is the worst: Confirmed

I’ve made it my mission not to know or care where he works

I get it wrong every time on purpose

And he turns this amazing shade of red

Okay, same G

SAME

 

Beautiful

Stick it to the white man

Honestly living with petunia should be punishment enough

But this man just keeps lowering the bar

What a fucking demon

 

Crazy, right?

Here I thought it couldn’t get worse than my own sister

And Dursley marches into our lives to prove me the hell wrong

 

That man is so bad

Like bad isn’t enough but my brain is forgetting worse words

Anyway what’s important to say is like

I’m old hat at this whole dating an nhler shit

If you need any insight/tips/info on who to avoid

I’ve got your back

All this info & my Secret Contacts are hard earned but

We are bffs so what’s mine is yours

 

Thank you, Sam <333

It’s going to be… weird

Dating someone who’s gone so much

And I know I’ll need y’all to keep my sanity

 

Yeah it’s a lot tbh

Things were weird w/ me and G for a long time

And i know, before you say it, there were other reasons why it was bad

But the leaving was a huge part of it & we’ve mostly figured that out now

Oh my god you guys are totally gonna be adorable as fuck

we’re gonna be able to turn around ALL THOSE almost married jokes

CANNOT WAIT FOR REVENGE

 

G just did a happy scream so we are all on the same page

I am marrying a fucking pterodactyl

[Attached: An image of G mid-exhilarated yell.]

He is so earnest it almost hurts sometimes like please…. chill

 

Lol!

He didn’t come with a chill setting, bless him

 

Oh fuck u haven’t met his sisters

Listen they got all the chill setting in the family

There was just none left for him

Oh man you and beth are gonna get along so well

Some people just want to see the world burn

Like me and beth

G haaaates that we’re friends it’s hilarious

 

I can’t wait??

Sam, we’re gonna have so much fun

And you’re GETTING MARRIED

 

YUP!!!!! FREAKING OUT BUT ENJOYING THE RIDE

UM BIG REVEAL

That boyfriend of urs asked G if u could be his plus one so

PHEW IM LIKE SECONDHAND YELLING ON UR BEHALF

Don’t know why G couldnt have said this like 20 minutes ago

James is COMMITTED im living for this

 

It’s still weird calling him my boyfriend

Good weird!!!

But like

I’m dating James Potter

And he’s so sweet and good

I’m mush

Shoot me before this gets EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING

 

G says take care of our sweet boy

It’s weird if we adopt both of you tbh

Now that I think of it

LISTEN u gotta tell me EVERYTHING

You guys were so cute after the cup win & we were so sure it was happening

And then you two just went radio silence for like a week

So we assumed it wasn’t happening

Guess we were a little late to the party haha

 

Sam

He made me dinner

And blurted his feelings in true James Potter fashion

And I was so stunned??

That he thought I was saying no

We wanted to keep it quiet for a bit

Especially with the Cup shit

But now we’re freeee

 

G is laughing

Apparently JP took his advice

That is so precious im laughing

HE ASKED THE GROUP CHAT

What a boy

 

It worked out but like

Imagine if he took Jordy’s advice instead???

 

I’m so excited for you guys to get that chill time

Jordy’s advice, according to G, was “you’re a fucking chicken”

He just kept sending James chicken gifs after hearing abt the Snape fight

Bc he “needed to tell you he loved you or have banged you weeks ago”

That boy…. If anyone settles down w him I would be surprised

He’s like Petunia except without the moral superiority complex & Petunia’s personality

At least the Jordy roast ppt will be Great if it happens

 

Yep, G’s was better

Dinner was a nice touch 

RIP Jordy if it ever happens

That roast is Coming for him

 

G has actually been in a relationship

Which generally helps in that area

Oh yeah we already have 60+ slides of material

At last count james & jordy only have 15 on us

Ha ha ha

 

Like I said

This wedding is going to be Amazing

:)

 

I’m pumped tbh

G is excited too

We have decisions to make still or my mom will kill us

G thinks I cannot see him googling every other word I say

Marriage is gonna be a rollercoaster lmao

 

If anyone can make it work

It’s you and G

I have to get going but we’ll talk soon? 

 

Yeah ofc

We appreciate the vote of confidence :) <3

Have fun!

Welcome to the WAG club

All we do is drink and start twitter beef

 

I think I’ll fit right in!!

 

Oh yeah lol

I just texted Alice abt u and James and she’s yelling

Says it’s “official” now so you should prepare to be kidnapped shortly

Does everyone think we’re ur parents lol

G says if he’s ur dad then Frank is ur grandpa bc he’s so old

HELP THAT MAKES NEVILLE UR UNCLE

 

Yes it’s official

*bangs gavel*

UNCLE NEVILLE!!!

 

This is the worst family tree ever i love it

Anyway we both have to bounce and do Real Life Shit

So I will talk to you soon!!! <3 Have fun

* * *

 

“So, Evans, huh?” Sirius whistled long and low, nodding appreciatively. “Well done, Jamie. Hell of a catch.”

“Looks like Jamie’s sticking.” James grumbled, reaching down to hesitantly pet one of the dogs, the little one that reminded him of Sirius, with the energy levels of a nuclear reactor. He could never remember their names. “I hate being called Jamie.”

“You do?” Sirius frowned. “How come you didn’t say anything? Dude, you know you can come to us about shit, like it doesn’t have to be totally one sided with the communication stuff.” He seemed almost outraged that James had not confided in him immediately. “Like if you don’t like something, you need to be able to feel free to tell us why and we’ll stop! It’s not meant to be just us talking to you, man--”

“Pete calls me Jamie.” James cleared his throat. “Always has, always will. He, um, started it -- G came down to visit for a week or two one summer and just ran with it, and then it just sorta took over that side of the friend group. Frank came up to Seattle with me and Remus thought it was cute and it just sort… took over. I’d never actually had a nickname in English before Jamie and it’s just… it’s loaded with a lot.”

“Yeah, shit.” Sirius shook his head, a pinched look on his face. “I can only imagine. That’s-- That’s fucked, bro.”

One of his dogs leaped up to try and lick his hands and he let it slobber all over him. There was a strange tiredness in his voice, a resignation that James had never expected to hear from Sirius Black, who commanded all the respect in the world, who made everyone listen to him, who made everyone play his game. 

Where had Sirius Black learned to play along with things he hated? 

“Yeah.” James shrugged. “It’s fine with people like Kingsley and Frank and Remus that I’ve known forever, you know? But it’s just--”

“We’re not there yet.” Sirius interrupted, a questioning edge to his words. His eyes, the color of a city sidewalk, bored holes into James, twin drill bits placed perfectly in a nest of sharp angles. “And you’re asking me to back off on it a little.”

“Yeah, uh, that’s-- that’s about it, I guess.” James mumbled, averting his eyes. If he could’ve died, at that very moment, he would’ve welcomed it. “And-- And I’m not trying to seem mean, I mean, you’ve given up a lot for me. You’ve done a lot for me.”

“James.” Sirius said, a laugh starting as a spark in his eyes and then rocketing through his body. “James. Chill. Don’t worry. Just breathe, man. We’ve known each other for what, maybe a year? And a year is including the lead up to the draft, and that’s questionable at best, seeing as I split my time way too much to really know anybody. We’re friends now and I like that, but I’m not about to call myself your best friend or anything. You ask me to back off, and I’ll do it.”

“You’re a lot nicer than they said you were, you know? At the draft.” James said, gratitude washing over him. “All the talk was about ruthless Sirius Black, breaking down anyone who even got close to him so no one could beat him to the top.”

“Yeah, well…” Sirius shot James a weak smile, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s just say I learned my lesson on that one.”

“Doesn’t sound like a lesson you could get away with not learning.” James muttered.

“So, real topic of conversation, how are things with Evans and how  _ dare _ you two get together without consulting me first?” Sirius crossed his arms, scowling like a wronged child, and a laugh tore its way out of James, quiet satisfaction bubbling up in the depths of Sirius’ gray eyes. “I tried so hard to get you guys together and you stab me in the back? C’mon, James, I thought we trusted each other. Lineys are ride or die for each other, man. Don’t do me like this.”

“I chose the invisible third option.” James teased. “Swift and stinging betrayal. Made just for me.” His heart clenched in his chest. “Or at least it feels like it.” 

Once the furor around winning the Cup had died down, the reality that he had won it without Peter, after they’d promised each other that they would bring the Cup to Seattle together, had struck him like a sledgehammer to the ribs. The team wouldn’t add him to the list, not when he’d left like he had, and it would look horrible for James to ask. He hadn’t realized there was a way to miss Peter more, to mourn his loss even more than he already had, but here it was -- this emptiness where there should be boundless joy, built up by the knowledge that he and Peter had been right on the doorstep of achieving a childhood dream, and Peter had said no.

“It fucking sucks.” Sirius spat. “Even when you’re on the right side of things, it fucking sucks. I thought about it like that, the night of the win. Like sure, I’ve got a ring, but what does it mean? Somebody’s probably gonna try to steal it. Doesn’t mean Vegas is mad. Doesn’t mean anyone missed me. Just means I’ve got disgusting new jewelry I’m never gonna wear because the NHL has no sense of design and that my name’s on some old cup that people have pissed in before. I’m not drinking out of that, no way. Didn’t do it the night of, won’t do it on my Cup day.”

“I’m down to talk about it now, if you want to.” James said, trying to erase any hesitance he felt. “If you need to talk. A trade like that’s got to hurt. I mean, it wasn’t even me that left with Pete and I’m feeling like shit.”

“You’re a fucking angel, Cap.” Sirius smirked. “You’d feel like shit if someone else even got a scratch. We’ve all heard the stories about how you called all the kids that got sent down after training camp last year. Rounded up their phone numbers and remembered things about all of them. I could never do that.” He laughed mirthlessly, shaking his head. “I’ve never really been able to feel sorry for anyone but myself. In this game, living this life, that’s a marketable skill.”

“Getting hurt feels like a casualty of the whole thing.” James sighed. “Like we’re supposed to just sacrifice ourselves for this. Like money and fame can make any amount of pain worth it.” Some dark, heavy feeling set his stomach to hurting, great pulsing blasts of pain ripping through him. He had fielded plenty of disappointment in his life, but whatever Sirius was putting out right now was beyond disappointment -- it was something toxic that left indelible stains, something deadly. “Anyway, Lily, like you said.” He switched topics like a train switched tracks, with a well practiced smoothness born of fear that it might be too late. “There’s a lot to discuss there.”

“From personal experience? That’s a load of bullshit.” Sirius scoffed. “All money does is make it easier to hide that you’re struggling. Money’s like wallpaper. People make you feel like shit for not having it, and when you have it, it’s just fucking ugly. You use it to pretend you’re fancy and not in the fucking dumps about everything like everyone else.”

“I’ve heard the stories about you too.” James admitted. “What happened when you got to Vegas. With, uh, the money. Or the lack thereof, I guess.” 

It was an open secret around the league that Sirius had arrived in Vegas against his parents’ wishes, before that first full season with the Golden Knights, and that they’d snatched the safety net of their money out from under his feet, leaving him nineteen and virtually penniless despite an entry level contract that was set to pay him as much as Vegas legally could. Everyone knew he’d lived in an extra room of his captain’s house for his entire rookie season, first unable, then too scared to strike out on his own.

Sirius’ lips were a red slash across his face, pulled thin and tight. He looked to be just on the edge of something, rolling words around in his head to see if they felt right, and James found himself buzzing with anticipation. If Sirius had no immediate retort, whatever he was thinking about had to be important. It had to be something James could fix, something James could do something about.

“Nobody was supposed to talk about that.” Sirius said finally, the words coming out sludgy and slow, like half-crystallized honey. “Nobody was supposed to talk about that.” 

“I’m sorry.” James said, the words panicked and a little sharper than he intended. Offering them up to Sirius felt like picking shards of ceramic off the floor and wishing they would glue themselves back together into their original shape. It felt like something had broken between them, and James desperately hoped it wasn’t irreparable. “I didn’t know you didn’t want to talk about it. I just thought-- it was part of the reason, is all. That you were feeling down.”

Sirius looked him up and down, his stare deep and searching, and smiled a shark-toothed smile, something deadly and dark that left James reeling.

“It is, but we’ll leave it behind for now. Like you said, we’re not there yet.” Sunlight poured back into Sirius like dough into a baking pan, soft, slow and sloppy, and by the time he finished speaking, all the darkness in his smile had been leeched away. “Let’s get back to Evans, right? How’d you manage that?”

“I made her dinner and I told her the truth.” James said, still feeling rather shaky. “You ever tried that with a girl before?”

It felt like he’d finally seen the truth of Sirius, in this terrifying moment, the truth that announcers and fans had been whispering in his wake since the draft -- that there was something hiding behind that media ready facade, that he was worth both running from and worrying about at once. Sirius was a lot scarier than anyone gave him credit for, and James felt like he was just scratching the surface. 

“Hell no, but I’ll do it now if it worked that well.” Sirius beamed, and James sunk readily back into the mire of confusion yet again.


	4. Gloves Dropped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first fight is a defining moment in any relationship. James and Lily are too proactive for their own good. You do the math.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how we said we'd warn you guys about descriptions of anxiety attacks? Well, unfortunately, that train has pulled into the station.
> 
> This chapter contains mild description of a mild to moderate anxiety attack and the physical symptoms and mental strain such an attack can bring on. There is explicit tracing of anxiety related thought spiraling. To avoid that section of the story, stop reading the chapter after the line beginning with "James carefully opened a dollar store notebook".
> 
> If this subject material is difficult for you, do not read it. All you need to know for next week's chapter is that things will be okay. An important part of handling mental health issues in a relationship is figuring out boundaries and fights, though not the best way, are one way to make that happen. In the end, communication is going to do the trick, and that's what next week is (mostly) about.

“Do you want to go out sometime?” James asked, looking rather nervous. “Like, on a real date. Now that we’re both free. Or free adjacent, I guess.” He scratched the back of his head, watching Lily carefully for any sign of doubt. “I mean-- We don’t have to keep things quiet to keep the Times out of it and now the season’s over and the awards are over and we said we would, but I don’t want to pressure you into anything and--”

“No pressure.” Lily reassured him, reaching for his hand. “Of course I want to go out with you. I’ve been wanting to for awhile, but like you said, we actually can now. Feels good.”

“Feels good.” James nodded. “Real good.”

“What should we do first?” Lily cocked her head, considering. “We’ve got this whole city, babe. And I want to explore it with you.”

“I’ve got an idea.” James admitted, looking rather shy all of a sudden. “Maybe I pick one and then you pick one? Team play and all that.”

“Sounds fair.” Lily squeezed his hand. “I like it.”

“You’ve spent way longer here than I have, so I’m hoping to be impressed.” James laughed. “Between all the travel and stuff, I’ve maybe spent about three years here over the past five seasons?”

“I night have a few ideas.” Lily admitted, already thinking about where she wanted to take him most. “We’ll see when we switch off, won’t we?”

“Yeah.” James smiled. “We’ll see. Feels nice to say that. Clear out your weekend, babe. I’ve got a surprise.”

“Really? I can’t wait.” Lily leaned over to kiss his cheek, before settling back in beside him.

* * *

Emmeline Vance

I can’t believe it’s finally summer  
I don’t know whether to sleep  
Potentially forever  
Or go run around doing everything I can’t during the year

 

Sleep first  
Then live your best life  
Go out  
Have fun  
Pretend you don’t have law school hanging over your head

 

Oh yeah sure  
Very easy  
Pretend I don’t have MASSIVE DEBT  
AND READING  
Waiting for me

 

You chose this  
And someday you’ll be A Fancy Lawyer  
And you can hold it over my head  
Like, look at my savings account!  
And retirement fund!  
And financial stability!  
And I’ll have $20 to my name and a Starbucks gift card

 

Oh yeah I’m sure you’ll be all poor and unfortunate  
With your fantastically rich boyfriend

 

That’s his money, Em  
Right now he’s being great while I figure out job shit  
But it’s his  
Not mine

 

Hey, I was teasing  
Things going okay with you two?  
You sound...off

 

And you can tell that through text messages?

  
You didn’t answer my question  
So spill  
What’s up?

 

Therapy time with Em V

 

Hell yeah!  
I guess  
I’m holding my breath on the job front  
Trying to regain some normalcy  
After how wild the past few months have been  
It’s just a lot

 

And James?

 

What about him?

 

I don’t know  
You didn’t mention him  
Which is weird because you’re usually all mushy

 

Sometimes  
I can see us together for… a long time  
Other times, I’m not so confident  
Which is normal, right?  
Relationships are like that

 

Yeah  
They are  
You two are still in the early stages  
You can be mushy and still have things feel a little up in the air

 

I guess that’s where I’m at  
I love him  
I want what’s best for him  
And I’d like that to be me

 

*What’s best for both of you

 

I know, Em  
I’m keeping myself in mind too, I promise  
Enough me being emo  
How are YOU?

 

Tired  
Burned out  
The usual  
Just kidding, kind of  
I’m forcing myself to go socialize tomorrow night  
It’s a sacrifice but I need to bone now that finals are over  
I deserve this

 

You do!  
Have fun tomorrow  
Be safe  
Make me proud!

 

Will do!!  
You’ll get the deets so buckle up  
Love you  
Goodnight!!

 

Night, Em!! <3

* * *

James carefully opened a dollar store notebook that proudly advertised that it had only cost 99 cents on its luridly purple cover to a page marked by a slightly crumpled orange post-it.

The edges of the thin cardboard cover that rubbed against the metal spiral were wearing down, some of the little circles ripped all the way through. It was just as well that the notebook would soon be retired -- he was down to five pages of space in this one, and had two more games of the Stanley Cup Finals to cover. More likely than not, he’d have to switch notebooks mid-game, and had its replacement -- shiny, brand new and bright green -- by his side, right next to the white plastic cup full of identical disposable pens, all the same shade of blue.

He queued up the game on the television before arranging the notebook exactly how he wanted it on the portable desk on his lap, grabbing one of the pens from the cup in a neat, fluid motion. There he was, at the bottom of the screen, number twenty-one. He’d chosen it after falling in love with Peter Forsberg’s game during Nashville’s 2007-08 playoff loss to the Sharks, even if he had scored less than he usually did. Most of his hockey heroes, now that he thought about it, were former Avs -- Paul Kariya, Peter Forsberg, and Rob Blake (even if he had betrayed the Sharks forever and ever by playing for the Kings) had all played for Colorado at some point.

The Avalanche, as he’d frequently reminded Peter, were the reigning Stanley Cup Champions when he was born, so of course he would’ve fallen for them. Peter, rightfully, had reminded him that the Detroit Red Wings had won the cup not three months after James was born, but the Red Wings and the Sharks had still been in the thick of their playoff rivalry at the time, and the Avalanche were clearly a superior choice by that standard. The Cup winning Avalanche team would’ve dragged James’ Metros through the dust and made them thank them afterward.

The Stanley Cup win, though nice, hadn’t done anything that would put him close to worthiness of the praise the media was heaping on him, nor did he think he ever would. Plenty of players, past and present, had won a cup. The Hart Trophy, though good for his resume, meant nothing when there were so many players who had two, three, four, and even nine wins to their name. And sure, he was only twenty-three, but how much time was left? Remus was only twenty-eight, and his knee had been taken out from under him by one bad hit. James could easily go the same way long before he was ready.

He pressed play on the remote and the game began to unfold exactly as he remembered it, James lining up at his usual position on screen as the puck dropped for the opening faceoff. He fell into his usual easy rhythm, hands working as quickly as his mind as he jotted down notes, things he could improve upon, as he tracked himself on screen. He’d dropped back too quickly there, too enthusiastic to prove he could backcheck when he could’ve stayed up a little longer and started off a scoring play. There -- he could’ve shot the puck there instead of holding onto it a little longer. It escaped him, as he wrote, that he hadn’t put down a single positive thing about himself -- James was a man of much brain power, but he didn’t put it to practical use very often.

He’d started the notebooks in Red Deer, an attempt to explain his choices and the plays he’d made to his parents, who watched as many games as they could through their WHL Live subscription but could rarely make it up to Red Deer to watch him live. Despite his best attempts, neither of them had quite understood hockey, especially his mother, who still hadn’t wrapped her head around the fact that her son was a professional athlete. The notebooks had been his gift to them, an attempt to bridge the widening gap between them as he dug himself deeper into the world of professional hockey and, as they saw it, further away from them.

His mother hadn’t wanted to hear about the positives of his game, had wanted to see plans on how he would improve, how he would make their investment worth it by eliminating every flaw from his game. Hockey certainly had been an investment for his parents -- a sinkhole of time and money and effort that they found themselves lost while trying to comprehend, and it didn’t surprise him that his mother hadn’t seen the use in him turning professional after the draft, after discovering he’d thrown away his chances at playing college hockey and getting a degree by playing in the WHL. He’d been hard at work on a degree since he started playing, but it was hard to take more than a class or two at a time during the season, and even harder to keep up with homework given his schedule, but it was all she’d asked of him, so he’d done it without question, had invested himself in his studies the same way he had in high school.

But still, hockey remained, and his notebooks remained, and sooner than later, taking these game notes became something secret, something he craved to make the world feel even. He hadn’t been drafted to be overly confident, to assume he could do more than he could feasibly deliver on -- he’d been drafted to be critical of himself, to exceed any limits his team imposed upon him, to ramp up his productivity as far as possible. He fell into their embrace during long road trips and when tired of the incessant beeping that he’d stupidly associated with a Google Alert of his name as a rookie, when he needed a reminder that he was becoming too complacent with his team.

He could never relax. He should never relax. If he did, it was proof that he’d stopped improving, that he’d decided what he’d done was enough. And it could never be enough -- so he’d won a Cup, now he needed to win another. So he’d won a Hart, now he needed to win another. There were awards he still needed to win and records he still needed to set and break and so many things in the world that needed doing, that he needed to achieve. It made his head hurt sometimes, thinking about everything that lay in front of him, the enormity of the tasks he had set himself, but he knew better than to let it scare him off. He knew he had to do it. He knew he had to earn his way, or he’d be traded, or worse, thrown away like compost, bounced down to some lower level of professional hockey if he were good enough to stick at all.

He felt a familiar squeezing sensation in his chest and dropped his pen while fumbling for the remote, pressing pause before it overtook him completely, swallowing him down and tearing him to pieces as his vision narrowed to a tunnel in front of him. He could hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears, could feel it in the tips of his fingers and even his nose, too fast, too disjointed, an animal driven by fear. Everything felt fuzzy, like he wasn’t quite feeling the couch under his legs or the heavy sweater he was wearing. He wiggled his toes inside his socks and found himself unable to feel them, as if they were reacting to his command but somehow beyond his control in some deeply essential way.

He wheezed, trying to catch just one good breath, looking around the room to try and find something to focus on, something that could tie him down to the moment. He squeezed the spiral binding of the notebook in his hands, feeling how the coils grew hot and sweaty in the grip of his hand. They bit into the skin of his palm in a way he was sure would leave angry red marks behind, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He needed something to ground him, something to fix him, something to snap him out of--

It ended as suddenly as it began, thanks to the sound of a key jiggling in the doorknob, and James ran a hand through his sweaty hair and changed the input settings before turning off the television. He had just managed to shove his notebooks under a couch cushion before the door opened to reveal Lily, windblown and perfect.

“Hey.” He said, trying to pretend he’d been doing anything but being consumed by terror just moments before. The erratic thrumming of his heartbeat reminded him that whatever had chewed him up and spit him out just seconds before wasn’t quite done with him yet, had just been put on pause for a few seconds to allow him a good excuse to get out of the room. “Took a pretty sick nap.”

“Did you?” Lily teased, bringing a smile to James’ face. “Well, whatever nap you took has put you in desperate need of a shower.”

“I’m not contesting that one bit.” James laughed, feeling relieved when Lily bought it, hook, line and sinker. “I’ll go handle that.” He stopped for a moment to kiss her on the cheek, a single, careful attempt at comfort that left him buzzing, before sprinting off toward the bathroom, coming back out a few times to retrieve the underwear, towel and fresh clothes he’d forgotten in his rush.

He had no idea how the safest thing he had in the world had turned on him so quickly. If even the notebooks weren’t safe anymore, what could he count on?

* * *

After a day of job hunting hell, Lily dropped onto the couch, curled up, and prepared to lose herself in something mindless on Netflix. Except, when she moved, there was an odd feeling beneath her, forcing her to get up and search beneath the couch cushion for the source of her discomfort.

“What…” She said quietly, flipping open the purple notebook to the first page.

She half expected it to be one of hers. She enjoyed writing out work related thoughts and tidbits for articles by hand, rather than lugging around her laptop for every single thing. Instead, she was met with precise handwriting, nothing like her own, every letter perfectly formed in blue pen.

Lily sat back against the couch, quickly pouring over the words. It didn’t take long for a frown to take up residence on her face as she read James’ comments about his performances during games. The words were harsh and unforgiving, written so carefully and calmly that it startled her even more.

> _18:05 1st: Had puck by center ice, last man back. Stripped by Kyle Reed after missing puck on attempted pass back to Kingsley. Reed gets his stick blade in after I miss and pulls puck over to himself, gets up toward goalie and scores before I could catch up to him. I set up that goal so well I should’ve gotten an assist. First goal of the game. 1-0 OTT._

Lily skimmed through a few more pages before closing it, her motions jerky as she stared down at the notebook in her lap. Was this really what James did when he watched tape? She’d seen him with various notebooks since they’d moved in together, and thought nothing of it. She figured he had his own way of processing games and didn’t give it another thought.

Now she was forced to wonder if all this time he’d been carefully keeping these notebooks to tear himself apart, while she watched without a clue.

Ever since the night in Toronto, when he’d fled the hotel room in a panic, Lily had lingering worries about how he was really holding up. Between the nighttime pacing, the obvious panic attack in Toronto, and now this? That didn’t even begin to cover the conversation she’d had with Remus, where he reluctantly admitted what she feared most, that James had been dealing with this, anxiety or whatever else it might be, for far too long on his own.

Lily heard the sound of the master bedroom door opening and then she spotted James, freshly showered and looking at her with his head cocked to one side.

“I, uh, found this notebook under the couch cushion.” Lily explained, gripping the notebook tightly in both hands.

“Oh.” James shrugged. “Cool.”

“Cool?” Lily echoed. “James, do you… how often do you write about yourself like this?”

“Like what?” James frowned. “It’s just me trying to keep track of stuff, you know? During the season? So I know what I shouldn’t repeat and what I can improve on and stuff.”

“I read some of it and it’s pretty excessive. How hard you are on yourself. There’s correcting mistakes and then there’s this.” She said, giving the notebook a shake.

“I wouldn’t-- I wouldn’t call it excessive.” James said, obviously confused. “Sure, some of ‘em look bad, but it’s ‘cause some of those plays were bad.”

“Do you ever write about the awesome plays you make? Those are worth remembering, too.” Lily challenged quietly.

“Those just happen. Or sometimes they’re pretty much gift wrapped for me by a teammate. I’ve got to figure out how I can avoid being a defensive liability and that’s on me, you know?”

“How many of these notebooks do you have?” Lily asked, dreading the answer either way.

“A few.” James shrugged. “Why are you asking?”

“I just wondered how long you’ve been doing this.” It was Lily’s turn to shrug as she looked away from him and stared down at the floor.

“Since juniors, I guess.” James said. “They’re somewhere in the back of my closet, I think? I don’t know, it helps me think.”

“Since juniors.” She repeated, her gaze snapping back to his. “I don’t see how it could possibly be helping you, James. Some of the things you said...”

“I don’t know why you’re upset.” James said. “It’s not too different from something you’d have written.”

“Really?” Lily reared back, before getting to her feet. “So, I’d sit down and note your every flaw without ever mentioning what you’ve done well? Is that what you think?”

“That’s not what I was doing at all!” James groaned. “I keep telling you. If I don’t keep track of my mistakes, I don’t correct for them before they happen. I don’t keep leaving the same holes open if I know how I’ve fucked up before! I know what I do well. The more I talk about that, the more I take up time I could be spending actually improving myself!”

“Bottom line? I don’t think this shit is healthy for you. I know how hard you work, James. I know you’re always pushing for better, and I love that about you.” Lily let out a deep breath, shaking her head. “But I don’t think cataloging your faults is doing you any favors, and that’s why I’m upset.”

“It is doing me favors.” James said. “We won a Cup on this. I’d say that’s a pretty big favor.”

“And Toronto happened.” Lily reminded him, her voice rising. “And I think that it could be argued that there’s a pretty giant link there.”

“If that gets us a Cup, I’ll take twenty of those.” James said, as calmly as he could. “We don’t need to fight right now. I get that emotions are high right now and that we’re disagreeing, but we don’t need to fight about this.”

“You’re right.” Lily agreed, walking calmly to the counter to grab her keys. “We don’t. I’m taking a walk. Not sure when I’ll be back.”

“Okay.” James nodded slowly. “Yeah. We’ll talk after.”

“Sure thing.” Lily said, making her way to the door without looking at him once.

* * *

Lily walked until her legs felt like noodles in an effort to burn off some of her anger. She didn’t have a particular destination in mind, she just wandered, taking her time by the end, when, for once, she dreaded going back to her apartment.

The worst part, she decided, wasn’t being mad at James. Mad she could deal with. She had a bit of a temper, but her cool down period was pretty quick, especially when it came to him, or someone else she loved.

The worst part was actually the hurt that was just below the surface.

Anger was easy. It could be resolved and moved on from relatively easily. But hurt? Not so much, in her mind. And it did hurt when James admitted that he’d put himself through an endless amount of nights like they had in Toronto if it meant winning the Cup. Toronto had been one of the worst nights in recent memory for Lily -- she had been terrified and left hanging by James when he disappeared without a word until the next day.

The fact that he’d do that again, repeatedly, on the journey for a Cup that didn’t even seem to have made him all that happy, hurt her more than she cared to admit. Lily did her best to tuck that hurt away as she made her way back to the apartment. She paused momentarily outside the front door, sucking in a deep breath, before opening it so she could shrug off her coat and toss her keys in the dish by the door.

There were no signs of life as she entered. The TV wasn’t flickering. James wasn’t sitting down to dinner, or doing any number of things that had become routine. She saw his bedroom door was closed and, sucking in another breath, Lily approached it before knocking cautiously.

“Hey. Can I come in?”

For a second, there was silence, and then, the familiar sound of James getting out of his bed, yawning as he made his way toward the door. It swung open, revealing a still half-asleep James Potter, who looked as if he wanted to do anything other than have this conversation. He blocked the doorway, as if hesitant to let her in.

“Good walk?”

“Miserable.” Lily admitted, unable to help the small smile that overtook her face at the sight of him, so at odds with her words.

“Weather’s shit, even for June.”

“It is.” Lily agreed. “But, actually, it had more to do with our conversation before I left.”

“Yeah. It was rough.” James nodded.

“Listen. I didn’t mean to find that notebook and start anything. I just… what I saw worried me, and I wanted you to know.” Lily took a deep breath. “And, uh, something about the Toronto comment you made… it hurt, I guess.” She admitted, trying to shrug it off. “I really didn’t mean to fight with you tonight.”

“I shouldn’t have said it.” James said, cleanly avoiding the fact that he had meant it. “I hurt you with what happened in Toronto and it’s not right for me to say something like that knowing you got hurt.” He rubbed at his eyes. “It’s okay. I was kind of asking for it.”

Lily felt there was still a small landmine of things between the two of them that needed discussing or hashing out. But she was tired and more than a little scared and just wanted things to feel right for the first time in awhile, so she smiled and nodded.

“How about I get started on dinner?” A peace offering. “You can catch more sleep if you want, and we can hang out later.”

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.” James nodded. “Maybe I’ll be up for dinner when I get up again.”

“Okay. Sleep well, James.” Lily smiled, before turning away to the sound of the door closing softly.


	5. The Relationship Sin Bin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Lily's date looms after their fight. They do some much needed talking. And a private moment doesn't stay so private.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! How are y'all doing? We survived jily's first fight and now we get to see how they handle it... along with some unexpected attention from the internet. Ready? Enjoy!

[18:32] James: Are we still up for tomorrow? After what happened? Because I can still cancel

[18:34] Lily: Are we still fighting? 

[18:35] James: no

[18:36] James: I didn’t think so at least

[18:39] Lily: Okay. We’re still on

[18:41] James: I’ve been afraid to ask

[18:42] Lily: I can imagine. Even when we fight, it’s still me, though. I still love you when we’re disagreeing 

[18:43] James: This is going to be a way for me to explain myself, I think. I want it to be, at least

[18:44] James: I know. Just hard to remember that when you’re in the middle of it, right?

[18:44] James: I love you too. I’m sorry I upset you

[18:45] Lily: I’m sorry I walked off the way I did. I bet that didn’t feel great

[18:46] Lily: Let’s do this date and just have a good time

[18:47] James: You had every right to. It must be hard to date a man who hides things under couch cushions unironically

[18:48] James: You’re going to need two changes of clothes minimum. Bring extra socks. We’ll be gone all weekend

[18:49] James: that sounds really serial killer esque in a reread. Promise no murder. Just some time away for us. I know you said to show you around Seattle but Oops :x

[18:50] Lily: I wasn’t even picking up serial killer vibes, but thank you for clearing that up, babe

[18:51] James: nah sirius said it sounded creepy. Don’t know what kind of serial killer he’s met that asks him to bring extra socks to a murder. I guess that is something that would be useful though

[18:52] James: sirius is asking me to clarify that i have never committed murder and meant that socks were absorbent and therefore would be useful cleaning supplies

[18:53] Lily: Tell him message received. Absolutely no murder of any kind. Got it 

[18:54] Lily: I’m excited, James. Thank you for planning this

[18:55] James: I’m excited too. Hopefully you’re open to a second date after this

[18:56] James: 1:45pm call time. Bring your stuff in a small bag. Think airplane carry on. I’ll text you a location a few hours beforehand. Before you ask? Yes it has to be this secret just for fun

[18:57] Lily: can’t wait xoxo

[18:59] James: <3 me either

* * *

 

Lily was more than a little surprised the next afternoon when Sirius arrived at their apartment, offering his services as chauffeur.

“Where are you taking me exactly?” Lily asked, dumping her bag in the backseat of his car before getting in. 

“Your nerd boyfriend doesn’t want you to pay for parking.” Sirius scowled. “And he knew I was just going to teach my dogs to do dumb shit all day today, so, to quote him, ‘two birds, one stone’. I hate him.”

“He’s perfect.” Lily countered, enjoying the way Sirius’ scowl deepened at the words. 

It wasn’t a long ride before they came to a stop in front of the train station downtown. Lily peered at Sirius and then out the passenger seat window, beyond curious, as she collected her bag and got out. 

“Thanks for the ride!” She called behind her, before shutting the car door and approaching the station. 

King Street Station loomed before them, a brick building with a large cathedral spire rising out of the middle, and though the outside gave an impression of humility, the stone carvings along the crown molding and the giant chandelier hanging down from the middle of the ceiling thoroughly destroyed it. Large groups of people milled about, luggage resting against the rows and rows of chairs, and bits and pieces of conversations washed over her like a gentle summer breeze.

Lily had no idea what to expect and gave up on guessing altogether as she merged with the crowd, on her way to the proposed meeting spot with James. She wasn’t surprised to find a group of people clustered around him, chatting loudly and asking for autographs and pictures. Lily approached the crowd slowly, standing on her tiptoes and calling James’ name above the fray so he’d know she was there. 

“Sorry to disappoint, everyone.” James said, spotting Lily through the sea of people with ease. “I’ve got somewhere to be. It was nice to see you guys.” He kept his eyes fixed on her, as if he couldn’t look away for the life of him, as people cleared away to return to the families and unattended luggage they’d almost forgotten. 

“Hey.” He smiled. “Didn’t think I’d get caught up in people, but I should’ve known better.”

“Wasn’t sure if I should hang back or get you out of there.” Lily admitted, shouldering her bag.

“Nah. You did the right thing.” He dug around in the pocket of his jacket before handing her a neatly folded piece of paper. “We are doing one of my favorite offseason things.” He cast a glance toward one of the boarding areas, glad to see it still mostly empty. “Welcome to the Seattle Metropolitans Captains’ Trip.”

“Whoa there. Sounds very official. I like it.” Lily smiled.

“Not exactly official. Remus’ knee can’t take the level of partying that usually goes on and Sirius has informed me that, uh, well, I can’t say his exact words in public, but he’s not going anywhere Remus and I would like.” James cast a glance around the station, as if apologizing for something he hadn’t even said. “Nah. It’s usually me and Pete and Remus and we take the train down to Portland and find nature shit to look at. Like the waterfalls and the lakes and stuff. Just chill time, and it got a little more official last summer when we could slap that ‘captains’ trip’ label on it. Figured you might be in.”

“I’m definitely in. It’s been too long since I’ve done any nature shit. Also.” She added with a shrug. “The tour guide’s hot, so.”

“Plus, we’ve got about two and a half hours on the train, so the cute tour guide can explain himself a bit.” James said, looking a little more serious. “I know we said we’re done fighting about it and I’m not-- I don’t want to open it back up and risk making this a bad memory. I just want to explain why I said what I did, okay?”

“Okay.” Lily nodded slowly. “I think two and a half hours is plenty of time to figure things out a little more.” 

“I usually take it all the way down to San Jose, when I go home for the summer. Cheaper than a flight, even if it takes a little longer. Plus, if you get the right side of the train, the scenery’s incredible.” James reached out for her hand. “Come on, train’s boarding.”

They boarded together and found their seats, carefully selected by James for maximum scenery potential. Lily took her seat and wasted no time fitting herself against James’ side, still holding his hand. The fight and all of the feelings from the night before were still fresh, but here, like this, Lily felt steadier, more confident that they’d figure things out. That they could do just about anything, hand in hand, with their slice of the world at their fingertips. 

“I know I said a couple things that upset you and I just-- I didn’t think of them that way.” James whispered, squeezing her hand. Below their feet, the train rumbled to life, beginning its slow march forward along the track. “I haven’t had to think about anyone taking my words the wrong way in any important way in awhile, off the job. And that’s no excuse, but-- I just want you to see where I was coming from.”

“You did apologize.” Lily reminded him. “But I appreciate you wanting to talk this through some more. I always want to see your side of things, and I know this is important to you.” 

“I know I upset you when I said you were writing articles like that, but I didn’t mean you. I meant the people around you, you know? Everyone who writes about the team. It’s just as critical as those notebooks are, and maybe worse, if we’re being honest.” James rolled his shoulders, obviously uncomfortable at even the thought of the media. “All I could guess at is that you thought I wasn’t reacting enough to what I’d written and, uh, it’s just that people are worse than that. And it’s my job to just take it and keep going, you know? Keep producing. From myself, it’s-- it’s nothing, you know? Compared to what’s coming from the outside.”

“I know.” Lily said, quietly staring at their joined hands. “It doesn’t feel great, but I know that at the Times I was part of something that hurts you. They’ll keep writing their articles and you’ll have to keep pushing forward. It’s just hard for me to see you come down on yourself when you’re getting it from the outside.” 

“I gave that up when I decided to make hockey my job. Not having all these eyes on me all the time. I just figured I could keep myself ahead by looking at myself through their eyes, you know? Know the questions they would ask before they happened.” James said, hesitantly meeting Lily’s eyes. She could see traces of the nervous boy who had grown into the man she loved in his face, in the way he was practically folded in on himself to keep her as close as possible. She could see that boy’s history stretched out in front of her, everything he had been and everything he was going to become, and in this moment, it all seemed to be wrapped up in her. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to help me get better at fielding those questions and it obviously hasn’t worked.”

“Where do you go from here?” Lily asked quietly, searching his gaze as if she’d find the answers there. “If the notebooks aren’t helping, how can we make it easier on you?”

“I don’t know.” James admitted. “At first-- at first they worked. And now… Now it just makes me feel worse. I haven’t been this bad since Red Deer, really.” He swallowed hard. “I was telling G about stuff and it hasn’t been this bad since before the draft.”

“We’ll figure it out, okay?” Lily said, feeling a flare of panic right alongside a sweeping protectiveness for the man sitting beside her. “I don’t know how, but I’ll be by your side, whatever comes. Whatever happens. We’ll figure it out.”

“I know. Like you said, even when we’re disagreeing, you love me.” James shot her a weak smile. “We’ll figure it out. There’s gotta be some kind of answer to this, right?”

“Right.” Lily smiled, squeezing his hand as if she had all the confidence in the world. 

“I know I said I’d take another twenty Torontos if it brought us the Cup again, but… I don’t think I can. I don’t think you can. I don’t think you should.” He fell silent for a moment, frowning. “I, uh, I always thought that was the price I had to pay for doing what I love.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be like that.” Lily agreed, encouraged by his words. “Maybe it won’t always be so hard.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be.” James agreed. “Maybe it can be better.”

* * *

 

After a good night's sleep for James, with Lily catching a few hours on and off, and a quick shower in the morning, Lily and James set off. Over breakfast, James had admitted they’d be exploring the Columbia River Gorge, which Lily had promptly Googled as soon as he wandered away to refill his plate. 

It was beautiful, with lush green trees everywhere and waterfalls seemingly around every turn, When they arrived not long after breakfast, Lily found it was even more stunning in person. After spending so much time in the city, it was amazing to be surrounded by the quiet. Other than the sounds of rushing water, it was peaceful and serene in a way Seattle never could be.

“It’s so quiet out here.” Lily mentioned as they started walking. “Let’s ditch Seattle and live out here forever. Sound like a deal?” 

“Biggest deal.” James grinned. “Commute would be hellish, but the Mountaineers are here. I’d tear up the AHL for fun. Wouldn’t last a second on waivers, but hey, why not?”

“Yeah, why not?” Lily agreed, reaching for his hand. 

“It’s easy to say that now.” James shook his head, taking Lily’s hand. “Once the season gets going? Damn.”

Instead of responding, Lily wandered over to the railing that separated them from the rushing water. Hands still connected, she tugged James with her so they were standing side by side, watching in silence. 

“Everything’s so green out here, all year round.” James whispered, amazed. “Don’t think I saw too much grass that wasn’t yellow before moving up here.”

“Yeah? I’d never been to California before work stuff, so I haven’t seen too much of it.” Lily admitted. “Did you like growing up there?” 

“I grew up in the thick of drought season, which lasts all year in California.” James laughed. “Everything’s all yellow and dried out by April, but boy are there tons of hills to run around in. Grew up in this old neighborhood by the freeway. Could hear cars on the main road a couple streets away all the time.” He smiled fondly. “It was good. I liked it.”

They returned to the path, taking their time and looking around, as if neither of them had seen so much green in their life.

“I’m glad.” Lily smiled. “So, let’s see. If everything’s all dried out in California by April, in Michigan we’d be having a wet, muddy, kind of nasty spring. One day it’s dry and the next it’s a mess with all the rain keeping us cooped up.” Lily said fondly. “But it didn’t keep us from our chores, of course.” She laughed. 

“Rain, huh?” James said. “Hadn’t seen that much rain in my  _ life _ before that first season in Seattle. Remus kept laughing at me. I guess Michigan life toughens you up a bit, that way. I hadn’t seen snow much before Red Deer either, so I was ready for a whole boatload of surprises.”

“You poor thing, just bombarded by nature.” Lily said. “I know it’s weird, but I love snow? I got used to getting slammed in the winter, watching it come down. And snow days were my absolute favorite.” 

“It snowed like a foot once and G had to drag me out of the house for school.” James laughed. “I didn’t trust it one bit. I was convinced I was just going to get so wet and cold and he was like ‘yeah, so?’. Needless to say, I didn’t get to skip school ever.”

“I bet you didn’t. Not with G on James patrol.”

“Gotta respect the club and all that. Bring no shame to the logo.” James rolled his eyes. “But yeah, I’d never seen or heard of a snow day before I moved up to Alberta, and god, for all I wanted to skip school, when the opportunity finally came? I was convinced they were lying. Got myself all the way to the high school before I realized the doors were all locked.”

“How did you like juniors?” Lily asked, switching gears as they passed under a series of giant trees, covering them in shade. “I can’t imagine having moved away from home like that. I had a lot of growing up to do at that age.” 

“It was a hell of a change.” James sighed, looking up at the trees like he wanted to memorize the shape of each leaf, each branch. “Thankfully my mother had some distant relatives in the area that didn’t mind taking me in, so I wasn’t with someone my parents didn’t know at all, you know? Still got familiar food and wasn’t tossed right into speaking English full time.” He chuckled. “No one really thinks about that when they ask me questions. It’s a concern for the European guys and the French-Canadian guys, but they forget about some others of us.”

“It’s good you had relatives, instead of being thrown into a drastically different environment.” Lily said, glad he had that going for him at the time. “I’d be terrified, having all these questions thrown at me in a second language. No thank you.” 

“Yeah, it was-- it was a lot of change. Thankfully school wasn’t too tough for me, so that took some weight off of me. Otherwise, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

“And you found G and Jordy.” Lily pointed out. “Did that help, at least? Having them there?”

“Absolutely. No better place for a bunch of not white boys in hockey than together.” James nodded. “Jord was getting groomed for the captaincy, the season before my draft. He was already huge and so was G, you know? So it made it easier for me, being in with the big guys. How about you? Any interesting late teenage antics? G’s already told me about the zine, so you might as well spill the details.”

“Ah, the zines.” Lily laughed, shaking her head. “Well, the best part of making them was that I found Sam. She took the pictures, I handled the words. At the time I didn’t realize it, but it was really important to me in terms of where I was headed, you know? I always loved to write, but pairing it with hockey was new and let me enjoy the sport on my own terms.”

“G and Sam haven’t spilled the beans, but I know you guys did features on prospects ‘cause of Jord.” James grinned mischievously. “Is there anything I need to know about before the media finds it? Or Sam leaks it. Both are equally possible. We have  _ terrible _ friends.”

“The worst.” Lily groaned, rubbing her face with the hand not occupied by James. “We may or may not have defended your honor a couple of times.” Lily admitted, laughing helplessly. 

“Beautiful. I love it. I know Sam did it ‘cause she owed me one, but it’s good to hear that you joined in too.” James squeezed her hand. “I mean, I wasn’t doing a terribly good job of defending my honor at the time, so I’m glad I had the support.”

“Even Em, who still doesn’t know a blessed thing about hockey would get into it, like, ‘Let the kid live!’. You had your very own defense squad, even back when you were small.” 

“To quote Jordy, I was a tiny boy with a big boy’s feet and a bigger boy’s heart.” James shook his head. “Ah, well, I grew into myself eventually.”

“You sure did.” Lily said fondly. “So, while you were sixteen and getting even more serious about hockey, I was writing papers for Em because she was terrible at spelling in exchange for her doing my math homework, ditching school to hang out at the library in town because I was a rebellious nerd, and sneaking out at night to get away from Petunia.” Lily shook her head at the memories. 

“Having a sibling sounds awful.” James grimaced. “Especially Petunia. I’m going to need some more warnings, seeing as I figure I’ll have to meet her at some point.”

“Depends on the sibling, I guess.” Lily said slowly. “It wasn’t always bad. When we were kids, we got along okay. Used to play together, like the farm was our very own playground. But.” She let out a breath. “We got older and things changed. We grew up and figured out we didn’t like each other so much anymore.” Lily grimaced. “I’m sorry, this is a downer. New subject.”

“New subject.” James said brightly. “We’ve talked about Detroit, about juniors… How’d you guys end up in Seattle? Seems like a big change from a farm in Michigan.”

“Well, we lived on a dairy farm. And it was… my dad was working too hard. Mom, too. We had the cows, which had to be milked a few times a day. Then there were the horses, chickens, the hay. The farm was passed down in the family, but as my parents got older it wasn’t what they wanted. So, they sold the place to my uncle. Packed us up and moved to Seattle.” Lily explained. “We had family nearby so it was a fresh start with some familiar faces.” 

“The most animals I’ve seen in one place was a cow and a couple goats, so that sounds like a ridiculous amount of work.” James winced. “My grandparents live out in the boonies, in India, so I can’t imagine going from like… that to Seattle.”

“I love goats.” Lily said with a small smile. “Our neighbors had some, and as babies they are the cutest things.” They walked a few feet in comfortable silence as Lily considered his words. “Were you able to see your grandparents very often, growing up? When I was that age, the only other country I’d been to was Canada, which doesn’t count because it was like twenty minutes from my house.” 

“I saw my mom’s parents in the summers, pretty much every year. Either we’d go there or we’d bring them over here. She’s an only child too, so we were all they really had to bother about.” James kicked a rock further down the trail. “Dad’s one of five, and his parents live with his youngest brother, so we saw them when we went to India. They weren’t interested in leaving and we couldn’t make it there too often.” He sighed. “As I got older, it got a little tougher to make it there and back on that kind of schedule, so… It’s hard to fit that big a trip in, though, around hockey and everything else.”

“I bet it was nice, getting to see them for such a long stretch.” Lily said, stepping closer so she could bump into him, a friendly nudge that did nothing to alter his steps. 

“The saddest check known to man.” James shook his head. “Try harder, babe.” 

“It was supposed to be affectionate, not take you out, you jock.” Lily laughed, trying to do it again.

“Yeah, yeah, it was good, though.” James easily sidestepped her attempt at nudging him. “They still don’t quite get hockey. I’m not expecting them to, I mean, think about how foreign the idea of that much ice in one place is to them, and on top of that, it’s just guys in knife shoes running around and trying to hit each other? It’s a lot to take in.”

“I never thought of that before, but it makes sense. The whole knife shoes thing just sounds downright terrifying, with no context.” 

“I mean, my whole job hinges on me balancing properly on knives while I run around on the ice.” James laughed. “Isn’t that just such a weird thought? Like that’s what they’re paying me to do. Run around on knife shoes.

“You make the big bucks on knife shoes, running into other guys.” Lily laughed, enjoying the amused look on his face. “What a wonderful world.”

“Gotta make that eight year handcuff worth it.” James smiled. 

“I’ve got an idea.” Lily said suddenly, lightly tugging him toward a particularly overgrown area. When they were standing face to face, Lily took a deep breath, trying to sound serious. “Normally, I wouldn’t do this on a first date, but there are special circumstances to be considered here, and since we’re alone, I think we should be making out right about now.” 

“In public?” James asked, looking around. “Are you sure? If, uh, if someone sees us…”

“I don’t see anyone around, but if you’re not into it, we can forget it. In fact, let’s forget it.” Lily said, beginning to babble. 

“Hey, babe, chill.” James said, fighting to keep a smile off his face. “Come here.”

Lily stepped into his open arms, smiling as he ducked his head to kiss her.

“Can you even believe?” Lily said between kisses. “You just told me to chill! I thought I had at least seventy percent of the chill in this relationship. Yet here we are.”

“Relationships are all about learning from each other.” James said imperiously. “I’ve absorbed all of your knowledge. Get ready for James 2.0.”

Lily grinned. Leaning up on her tiptoes so her lips were close to his ear, she whispered. “I think I like that.” 

“Good. Because I’m liking James 2.0’s commitment to making out in public.” James winked.

James’ hands wandered to her hips, bringing her closer and making Lily shiver as she smiled into the kiss, happier than she’d been in some time.

* * *

 

JAMES POTTER, BAD BOY @metropalitans ● 1 Jul 2025

So, I’m visiting family in Portland and remember how we thought James Potter was a Wholesome Good Boy,,,,,,

 

[Attached: A picture of James Potter and Lily Evans being ridiculously inappropriate for two people that recognize that they are in a public place.]

 

Metro Grrrl @metsgrrl ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metropalitans

*SCREAM* LOOK AT THEM GO

 

ReallyORiley @riley97 ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metropalitans @metsgrrl

Cap’s got moves? I am losing it rn

 

danny @softboyjp ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metropalitans, @riley97

Holy fuck,,,,, you think the man is about to stop getting prettier but it just keeps happening

 

JAMES POTTER, BAD BOY @metropalitans ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metsgrrl, @riley97

Okay take me out if I’m wrong but that is definitely .@lmevans right

 

ReallyORiley @riley97 ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metsgrrl, @metropalitans, @softboyjp

I feel like a detective. I’m seeing red hair and she’s short soooooo

 

Danny @softboyjp ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metsgrrl, @metropalitans

His stupid arm is in the way of her face?? Is he trying to protect her from the camera lmao

 

JAMES POTTER, BAD BOY @metropalitans ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metsgrrl, @riley97

It is definitely her… like everyone knows that they spent this last season like 20 seconds from banging right there on the locker room floor…. Look at the way he looks at her omg

 

[Attached: Four different stills from badly produced interview videos of James Potter staring adoringly into Lily Evan’s eyes.]

 

Metro Grrl @metsgrrl ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metropalitans, @riley97

Omg I KNEW IT. They’re too cute honestly OTP 

 

Lily Evans @lmevans ● 1 Jul 2025

Hey guys! I had a really great day today with James. I understand the internet doesn’t do boundaries v well, and I also understand we were in public, but turning what we thought was a private moment into some weird Internet Thing is….kind of weird

 

Lily Evans @lmevans ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @lmevans

Before y’all get up in arms or try to make this weirder, I’ve left the Times. I’m in a really good place right now. And I’m happy. Enjoy the rest of your day.

 

Hockeyluvr @Hockey101

Replying to @lmevans

Yeah you were in public so??? I dont get why you’re complaining honestly

 

Mets or bust @Metsorbust

Replying to @lmevans, @Hockey101

Were you guys banging during the season bc that’s just wild

 

Kates Gr8 @katethegreat

Replying to @lmevans, @Metsorbust, @Hockey101

Lily you were my fave at the Times. Disappointed that you’re caught up in this

 

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 1 Jul 2025

Being a public figure, I can understand that my privacy will be invaded, however, my girlfriend's privacy is not up for grabs. If people could refrain from spreading personal pictures of me (especially when others are involved), I’d appreciate it.

 

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @jpotter21

It’s upsetting especially to see only Lily being disparaged when I was equally responsible for what happened. I don’t think anyone here’s gotten through life without doing something embarrassing in public. I was lucky enough to make it to 25. :)

 

JAMES POTTER, BAD BOY @metropalitans ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @jpotter21

HE SAID GIRLFRIEND

 

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 1 Jul 2025

Replying to @metropalitans

I did. A reminder: just because you don’t tag someone directly does not mean they do not see your posts. Everyone has the right to an opinion, but it’s upsetting that someone would speculate about my life like that where they know I (or others close to me) could see it.

* * *

 

“How much gasoline would it take to set my phone on fire? Just ballpark it.” Lily said, shifting closer to James in their creaky hotel bed. She closed out of the Twitter app and tucked her head against James’ chest with a borderline hysterical laugh. 

“Many gasolines.” James said, attempting to keep a straight face. “I know so much science.”

“Many gasolines. I like it.” Lily admitted, lifting her head so her laughter filled the room. “God, James. What a day. All because I seduced you in the woods like a dumbass.”

“Hey. We’re keeping to my statement. You may have initiated seduction protocol but I did not stop you.” James shrugged. “I’m down to split it 50-50. Besides, there’s nobody I’d rather be weathering my first real scandal with than you.”

“Seduction protocol.” Lily grinned, shaking her head and reaching out to cup one of his cheeks. “I really love you, you know? Otherwise I’d be on my way to Mexico or some shit to get away from the entire Internet.”

“There’s still Internet in Mexico.” James stuck his tongue out. “Hey, anyway, you’re not the one whose parents, agent, and management are going to take out out back and Old Yeller you for this.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you too. The internet is useless and now you know why I go on Twitter about three times a year.”

“Oh, god, PR.” Lily winced, resting her head against his chest once more. “That’ll be a treat. I had hope that my parents would just… never learn about this, but we all know Petunia has probably signed my mom up for Twitter so she can yell at me.”

“You’ve got Petunia and I’ve got the media training talk.” James groaned. “Two great evils. This is perfect. First date and we’re already in the relationship sin bin.”

“Next time we’ll keep our hands to ourselves, I guess? You can walk twenty feet ahead of me, so I’m just checking you out and not mauling you like a bear in the woods.” Lily said, laughing again.

“Or we just find somewhere with a door.” James suggested. “You can’t take pictures through doors, right?”

“Doors are good. Perfect, even.”

Lily’s laughter was interrupted by her ringtone sounding from the nightstand.

“If it’s my mom, I’m going to literally die. Right here.” Lily vowed, picking up her phone to read the name on the screen. “Thank god it’s not. Hey, Em.”

“Lily.” Em said far too calmly. “Why did I find out on fucking Twitter that you are dating James Potter?” 

“That.” Lily winced, looking at James over her shoulder. “Is a valid question. Uh, your feelings are valid-”

“Of course they fucking are! Holy shit, how long has this been going on?”

“Uh…”

“Oh my god.” Em groaned. “You’re killing me. All this time I was teasing you about liking him and you were dating?”

“Kind of?” Lily said slowly. “For a little while, yeah.”

“It’s partially my fault.” James spoke up. “I’d hoped we could be introduced under better circumstances, but seeing as this is what we’ve got… I’m sorry about how it worked out.”

Lily looked at him with wide eyes, shaking her head wildly. 

“Listen up, Potter.” Em said with a chilly tone. “You better be treating my girl Lily right, or I will fight your tall ass in front of god and everyone.”

“Em-” Lily tried.

“No.” Em cut in. “You deserve better than to have your picture splashed all over the internet like the girl of the week and if he sets so much as a foot out of line, it’s on.”

“I’m doing my best.” James said. “I’m not very good at fighting, so you’ll have to keep that in mind. I do not do it very often so I’m probably very much out of practice. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that. As far as I know, she thinks I’m worth the trouble.”

“‘As far as I know’ isn’t going to cut it, friend. Lily, take me off speaker phone, please.”

“Will do.” Lily shot an apologetic look at James before doing so. “Em, I’m sorry you found out this way.”

James, who didn’t appear to be shaken in the least by all of Em’s yelling, threw an arm and a leg over Lily like a particularly enthusiastic octopus, running his hand up and down her side in an attempt to calm her. 

“Forget about me.” Em said, sounding calmer. “How are you? I saw some of the comments and wanted to fight the entire internet.”

“Me too.” Lily smiled, leaning against James and enjoying their closeness. “It’ll blow over eventually. Things are just crazy right now.”

“If I can do anything, you tell me.” Em ordered. “And I mean it about James. He seems nice, but just… be careful, okay?”

“I will be.” Lily said, careful not to voice her reassurance in a way that might upset James. “Things are good on my end, Em. I promise.”

“Okay. Good. I love you and we’ll talk later, okay?”

“Okay. Sounds good. I love you too. Bye.”

“You okay there?” James asked, as soon as he was sure the call had ended. “That must’ve been rough. I know you and Em are real close.”

“She was shocked, but cooled off after verbally threatening you.” Lily said, falling back against the bed. “Are you okay? She was harsh, and I’m sorry about that. Like I said, she cools off fast. She won’t be a terror forever.”

“Babe, breathe.” James laughed. “I’ve heard worse than someone telling me they don’t like me. Plus, the funniest part of that? Saying ‘girl of the week’ like I go outside often enough for that to be a problem.” He shook his head. 

“Like you have a trail of broken hearted groupies in your wake.” Lily said, grinning at the thought.

“Sorry, babe. Didn’t want to tell you about all the women I’ve been hiding in the hallway closet, but now that it’s come up…”

Despite the chaos brewing on and offline, Lily couldn’t help but laugh as she tugged on James’ arm, indicating that she wanted him next to her on the bed. 

“It’s good that I know now.” She joked, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

“You’ve had entirely too much heat on you today.” James said, eagerly pulling her as close as he could. “Figured that if I could take any of it off of you, I should. I mean, starting off in trouble isn’t ideal, but hopefully she cools off soon, like you said. We didn’t do anything wrong. G and Sam have absolutely done worse. Eventually, people will come around to that.”

“We both took some heat.” She reminded him. “And kissing is pretty tame, all things considered.” Lily agreed. “It’ll blow over when someone else does something weirder.”

“It’s hockey. We won’t be waiting long.” James leaned in to steal a kiss. “Someone’s bound to get caught doing something stupid within the week.”

“If they could hurry up, that’d be fine by me.” 

“Yeah. I could do with a little change in the news cycle, but we’ve got each other right now. And I do remember you saying something about how doors are perfect. That one’s locked.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Lily said, scooting up so she could place a kiss at the corner of James’ mouth, teasing out what was to come.

“This isn’t first date territory, but I guess this really isn’t a first date, huh?” 

“Do all those nights of Netflix on the couch count as dates? Because if so, we’re at least on double digits in terms of dates. And we’re definitely on pace for a misfire of some kind.”

“I mean, we had what… May, June...” James began counting off months on his fingers frantically, looking rather like an overgrown preschooler. “Two months of anonymity? That’s pretty solid. I mean. Two months is pretty good.”

“We managed it pretty well.” Lily agreed. “So now we’re a little more public. We can handle it, right?” 

“I think we’ll definitely be a little more careful.” James laughed. “All making out is henceforth to be done in our apartment, preferably behind a locked door.”

“Agreed. One weird picture on the internet is enough for us both.” Lily laughed, moving to kiss him again. 

“Oh yeah. Get ready to enjoy Twitter as it is for the rest of us: a wasteland.” James grinned. “We can block people together!”

“A bonding experience!” Lily agreed. “When I’m not actively trying not to think about Twitter, maybe we can set up social media ground rules. Like how we talk about each other. What we share.”

“Yeah. Yeah. That’d be awesome.” James nodded. “We need to be on the same page about stuff.”

“Yeah, we do. For now maybe you can make me forget the internet exists? If you’re up to it.”

“Gladly.” James smirked. “James 2.0 is always up for a little fun.”

* * *

 

Despite being scrutinized to hell and back on social media, Lily felt good returning to Seattle. The date, with a little away time, felt like exactly what they’d needed, both as a couple and on their own. It served as a good reminder for Lily that with every bump or bruise in their relationship so far, there were an equal amount of times for them to make it right. 

She knew it was no small thing for James to open up and communicate the way he had, allowing them each to say what they needed to in order to bridge some gaps and heal a few hurts that had accumulated along the way. Despite the depth of feeling for each other, Lily reflected, they were still only a few months into this. 

They were still learning, fumbling sometimes with what the other needed, let alone themselves. There was time. Time to learn and work together, side by side, to take on what was thrown at them.

Despite the recent misfires and the internet, in general, Lily felt stronger going back to Seattle with James by her side. 


	6. In Sickness and In Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Lily have some fun online shopping for Sam and G's wedding, Lily and Em discuss Emmeline's visit later in the summer, and James has a hard day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! 
> 
> This chapter includes a depiction of an anxiety attack, so if you need to skip it, stop reading at, "“Thank you for the water.” He choked out, leaving the store as quickly as he could, still feeling their gazes burning into him." 
> 
> You can continue reading at the next scene break without it being mentioned/depicted. There's a summary at the bottom, cluing you in on what you missed, if you'd like to read that instead. Enjoy!

Lily and James set themselves up at the kitchen table, chairs scooted close together. They steeled themselves for the monumental task ahead, all business, as Lily booted up the laptop.

“What do you get people for weddings anyway?” James asked. “I’ve only been to about two weddings and I slept through most of both of them. I hear American weddings are shorter. That might be nice.”

“Usually it’s like… hand towels, silverware. Things that people will need in their first home together. But Sam and G have practically been married forever, so who knows.”

“Hockey pucks.” James nodded seriously. “Sonic keeps trying to chew on them.”

“Hockey pucks will be a last resort.” Lily said, shooting him a look.

“We don’t have a first resort.” James pointed out. “So, technically, until we have a second choice, they are the first resort.”

“We haven’t even checked the registry yet. It’s a little early for that line of thinking.” Lily remarked, typing in Sam and G’s names before the site popped up with their listed items.

“You know how they picked that registry, right?” James laughed. “G said in the group chat that he just closed his eyes and pointed at things.”

“I’m not surprised in the least.” Lily shook her head. “Let’s check it out anyway.”

Lily scrolled mindlessly for a few minutes, laughing at the random items obviously selected by G, most of them having to do with their cat, Sonic. 

“So, how’s groomsmen stuff going?” Lily asked James, her attention mostly on the laptop screen as she scrolled, on a mission to find something that said We Love Your Love, or at least something that held more sentiment than cat food. 

“It’s a mystery. Half of the group chat is G saying weird, fatalistic things about how he’s inevitably going to ruin their marriage and the other half is Jordy sending us links to really terrible shit.” James shrugged. “And the guys from the Blues are around and replying too. That’s fun. G’s close to them so I’m also making an effort. How’s being Sam’s minion?”

“Poor G. So far, being her minion’s been kind of fun, actually.” Lily admitted. “She’s all calm and just ready to do this, while G freaks out enough for both of them.”

“Commitment’s always been his strongest point and his weakest point.” James nodded seriously. “Like he’s always down for it until the reality hits him and then he’s a mess until it’s all over with. The week before he had to report to St. Louis was so ridiculous. I saved up some and went down there for a few days before training camp started, since we started a few days after the Blues. Jordy was with… Brighton Sound then, I think? That was-- wow, that was when I first met Sam. That’s so long ago.”

“You were babies.” Lily said fondly. “I bet he was scared to death.” 

“Beyond scared.” James smiled. “We’d set up this joking pact, you know? That if one of us didn’t cut it in the show, the other one wasn’t going to stay up. Like obviously we couldn’t risk derailing our careers by doing anything serious, but… I don’t know. It still means the world that we got to do that first season at the same time, you know? Go through all those firsts together.”

“I bet it helped, even though you weren’t on the same team. Like you said, you had a lot of firsts to get through.” Lily said thoughtfully. 

“Oh yeah. The first time G scored? We’d just touched down in Atlanta for a Flames game and I look at my phone and for some reason I’ve got, like, fifteen missed calls and a couple FaceTimes. So I call him back while I’m at baggage claim, waiting for my gear bag to come off the carousel, and he’s scored his first goal. Wanted to show me the puck before the Sharpie rubbed off the tape.”

Lily smiled, imagining their excitement. She leaned over, balancing herself by placing one hand on his thigh as she kissed his cheek. “What about your first goal?” 

“I scored mine against Vancouver, babe. If I’d have called him, I would’ve lost all my fingers.” James laughed. “Nah, I’m kidding. Just hit the ‘@ VAN’ part of the label with my thumb when I took the picture and called him once we got back to the hotel. You probably remember the goal better than I do.”

“Yeah, but I like the behind the scenes stuff. With you and G, and getting through all that craziness together.”

“Jordy’s first NHL game is the best story of the bunch, then.” James said. “But I won’t tell that one until we find at least one option on the registry. Gotta get work done, right?”

“Right.” Lily returned her attention to the registry, which was almost completely forgotten as they spoke. “Okay, so, they have a comforter set on here, which might be something they actually want and not a G misfire. What do you think?

“Sure. You always need more bed stuff.” James nodded. “Let’s do it.”

“Great.” With a few clicks it was bought and paid for and on its way to their apartment. “I feel like we should be getting them something else, but I also don’t know what.”

“I know exactly what we’re getting them.” James said, pulling the laptop over to himself. In a matter of minutes, he’d located exactly what he’d been thinking of the whole time. He clicked on the picture to enlarge it, then turned to Lily with a shit eating grin on his face. “So is this perfect? Or is it  _ perfect _ ?”

Lily’s mouth fell open and then laughter tumbled out as she inspected the Blackhawks onesie James had pulled up. 

“Sam’s going to lose her shit.” Lily said, obviously delighted. “We have to.” 

“We’ve gotta do it. They’re going to donate it or destroy it or whatever, so let’s just get a Blues one as a backup too.” James chuckled. “Man, Sam is gonna kill me, but it’s not going to be anything near how weird the day we met was.”

“Look, I know you said you’re waiting for me to hear all about it at the wedding, but.” Lily pointed out. “I’m your girlfriend, so don’t I get a sneak peek or something? A crumb? Anything?” 

“You won’t be hearing all of it.” James grimaced, evidently thinking back on something uncomfortable. “Like Sam said, rules are rules. Nothing above PG gets shared in front of the parents.”

“I cannot believe your first meeting with Sam needs an above PG rating.” Lily said before stopping herself. “Then again, I take that back. It’s totally believable, ignore me.”

“You’ll get the other half of the details at the wedding, but, here are a couple things without context that will make sense later.” James shook his head. “First, his roommate was out. Second, Sam was over. Third, she still has my clothes and won’t give them back.”

“That gives me a little to go on, and the fact that she still has your clothes is kind of hilarious.” Lily admitted.

“It’s Sam.” James shrugged. “She claims she’s buying my silence by holding them as collateral. I don’t think she understands that I can’t actually fit in those clothes anymore, so they have basically no meaning to me. Me not ratting her out is entirely on personal honor and morality at this point.”

“Honor.” Lily said wryly. “And the fact that you want to torture me until the wedding, huh?” 

“That’s just me having a little fun.” James winked. “Honor’s got nothing to do with that.”

“While we’re talking about wedding stuff, maybe this is a good time to go over social media boundaries. Since I plan on taking a ton of pictures, I want to know what we’re both comfortable with sharing.” Lily said, setting aside the laptop. 

“Um, well, I was thinking about rules, ‘cause you said rules are important.” James scratched his head. “I came up with one, but it’s not going to be a problem for the wedding. No pictures outside the apartment. Meaning, like, nothing that shows the surroundings of the apartment, because people are creepy and I remember when someone found Sturge’s house a few years ago. And no tagging any locations. That’s two rules, I guess.”

“That’s smart, definitely. Also, waiting until after we’ve left somewhere to post about it. So you don’t get mobbed.” Lily pointed out. 

“This goes without saying but nothing illegal. Probably want to avoid saying or posting anything if either one of us is drunk or feeling particularly impulsive. For the wedding, specifically, I’m not sure.” He shrugged. “I know I’ll get embarrassing video of G at some point and that’s just… sharing that is just a general social obligation, you know?”

“Nothing illegal, noted.” Lily agreed, smiling. “Is it okay if I talk about you on my Twitter? Not all the time, but once in awhile, I might want to brag you up.” 

“Feel free.” James laughed. “The most interesting thing I’ve done this week is go to the farmer’s market. Oh, no, wait, we did go to the library! That was good.”

“Is the world ready to know what a nonfiction lover you are?” Lily teased. “Can they handle it?”

“They’ll just call me a nerd. I’m prepared. I’ve taken worse hits than that, right?” He shook his head. “We’re going to have to keep the initial timing of the relationship quiet, just to keep professional shit clear for you, but we need to have our story together before the wedding. What’s our story? You’re the writer.”

“Right. Okay. Obviously, we were seen together socially, thanks to Sirius’ Insta. We’ll just say that we met outside of work through mutual friends and became friends ourselves. After the Cup we decided to give dating a try, which coincides with me leaving the Times.” Lily nodded. “Simple and kind of true, so it works. And I’m okay with you talking about me. It’s going to come up, we can’t avoid it even if we wanted to.”

“G will jump in to play the role of mutual friend without question and Sam… well, Sam’s got to do it too, I guess, them being almost married and all.” 

“Sam will do it, I’m sure. It’ll be a team effort.” 

“A team effort.” James smiled. “Good. Are you okay with me talking about you? Like you said, just sometimes. If we do anything particularly fun or a birthday rolls around or something.”

“Yeah, I’m good with that. It’ll be fun to share parts of our life that way, on our terms.”

“Last but not least… trolls.” James scowled. “Do you want me to help or do we just block everyone who says something? Also there is going to be gross fanfiction about us already, especially since we got caught kissing in public, so never google yourself again and please tell your parents and sister that googling you is now banned.”

“Let’s go with blocking them.” Lily said thoughtfully. “I don’t want you wading into that, and to be honest, I don’t want to interact with gross people about our relationship. Sometimes, the trolls come out about my job or writing, and I mess with them to make an example out of them, but that’s different.” Just thinking about weird fanfiction about them had Lily shaking her head. “I’m debating telling my parents not to google us because they’ll just do it anyway, but that’s another battle to be fought at another time.”

“I didn’t want to either.” James said. “Interact with the gross people, I mean. I’ve got a list of muted words a mile long and people still get through somehow.”

“The internet finds a way.” Lily grimaced. “Social media should be as fun as possible. If it gets weirder or doesn’t feel good, we re-evaluate.” 

“Yeah.” James nodded. “We seriously talk it over every few months or so, I’d say? As stuff changes in the relationship, we add more rules, I guess, but we’re good for now.”

“Yeah.” Lily smiled. “We’re good.”

* * *

 

Lily settled on her bed, smiling as the familiar Skype ringtone rang out, as if on cue.

“Hey you!” Emmeline greeted warmly.

She was seated at the cluttered desk in her apartment, looking more rested now that the semester was over. Her smile was bright as she waved at the camera before earnestly leaning as close to the screen as possible, at the most unflattering angle humanly possible, to inspect Lily’s surroundings.

“You’re still in your room.” Emmeline observed. “You and James don’t shack up yet? I mean, other than living together.”

“Hello to you, too.” Lily laughed, settling back comfortably against her pillows. “I’m still in my room.” She confirmed. “We’re taking our time on that front. And I like it. It’s different for me.” 

“It is, isn’t it?” Em said fondly, propping her chin in hand. “If you’re happy, I’m happy. How is James?” 

“He’s okay.” Lily said softly. “Glad it’s summer. Excited for the upcoming wedding.”

“I want pics and deets of everything, just so you know.” Em tried to sound stern, even pointing a finger at Lily. “Your outfits. Sam’s dress. The whole thing.”

“I’m on it.” Lily promised. “I’ll save you a slice of cake, how’s that? Smuggle it through the airport. Stick it in my freezer until your visit.”

“So it’s nice and freezer burned by the time I get there. Eat a slice for me instead.” Em said dryly. “Speaking of my visit! I’ve got my ticket. It’s set in stone, no take backs.” 

“I can’t wait. I’ve got plans for you, lady.”

“We did talk about doing dinner with Marlene and Dorcas.” Em reminded her. “I know things have been touchy there since The Talk. Any improvement?”

“Somewhat?” Lily rubbed a hand over her face, tired just thinking about it. “Dorcas texted me an apology, said she wanted to meet up again. I’ll get to it after the wedding, I think. Give it some more time.” 

“You guys will figure it out.” Emmeline said confidently. “There are some strong personalities in the mix, that’s all.”

“Yeah. We’ll get it settled.” Lily agreed, shaking off thoughts of what needed saying the next time she saw her two friends, and focusing on Em once more. “How about you? What am I missing out on in Chicago?”

“Oh, it’s a party here.” Em said, fighting a smile. “I slept in until eight this morning. Can you believe it?”

“You absolute madman.” Lily laughed. “What else?”

“I’m reading a book for fun. Cannot remember the title for the life of me, and I’m only on page four, but I’m going to do it, damn it.” She said determinedly. “Other than that, I’m being boring. Gone to a few parties, but nothing life changing.”

“No Mrs. Right at any of them? Or.” Lily amended. “Mrs. Right Now?”

“Sadly, no. I’ll meet her at the end of the summer when I’m getting back into school mode. Because the universe wants me to suffer.”

“You poor thing. Maybe we’ll find you a nice Seattle girl to pine after.”

“What a nightmare. No, thank you.” Emmeline pulled a face, just thinking about it. “I’ve gotta run, but say hello to James. I’ll talk to you later, babe.”

“See you, Em. Enjoy your day!” Lily said brightly, before disconnecting the call with a smile.

* * *

 

The bass of a song whose title he couldn’t remember pounded in his ears as James fell into the rhythm of his morning run, feet thumping against the cracked pavement. The sun wasn’t nearly as warm in Seattle as it was in San Jose, by the beginning of July, but it beat down on his bare shoulders in a way that comforted him immensely. His tan lines would be even worse by the end of the summer, the straps of the tank tops he favored as soon as it was warm enough to wear them indelibly marked onto his skin year round.

Kissing Lily at the Gorge had been stupid. He’d known that the moment their lips touched, and even before -- there were just too many opportunities for them to be spotted, and he wasn’t particularly surprised that they had been. But he’d taken the bait regardless, had kissed her because he’d just wanted to feel like a normal couple on their first date. He’d wanted to forget about hockey, to forget about their jobs and the lives they’d built in Seattle, and just feel the rush that G had described to him as rookies, eyes alight and unable to stop smiling. And he’d felt it, had felt it with every cell in his body, until she’d shown him that first tweet.

The bottom had dropped out of his stomach at the sight of their moment publicized for all to see, at the number of retweets and likes below the pictures, and his breath had caught in his chest for a second. He had felt the beginnings of something stirring within him then, like he had in Toronto, a strange buzzing feeling in his face and hands, but he’d thrown himself into maintaining that closeness between him and Lily, had treated affection like a bandaid until the buzzing faded away to a dull roar. It had remained just under the surface, a threat, a warning, and he could still feel it now, darkness chewing at the edges of his vision, a swarm of angry termites within him. 

He shut off the GPS app, out of breath and thirsty, and shook his water bottle, finding it empty. There was a coffee shop on the other side of the road, and James crossed the street, fully expecting it to just be a moment’s work -- go in, ask if they fill water bottles, pay extra if necessary to use his water bottle, and then go back to his run. He’d be back at it in a second, and the buzzing would fade back again, not spike like it was doing now, at the mere thought of speaking to someone else. He opened the door, the tinkling of bells attached to it dimly registering in some corner of his mind, and stopped in his tracks when the eyes of everyone in the coffeeshop turned on him. 

He made his way over to the counter, fingers clutched so tightly around his water bottle that he thought they might snap right off. He placed it on the counter, swallowing hard, hoping that the plastic hadn’t made too loud of a noise as he put it down. 

“D’you fill water bottles?” He asked, words coming out strangled and misshapen. “I can-- I can pay extra.” 

“It’s fine.” The barista eyed him with something akin to resentment and snatched up his water bottle. 

A wave of loss swept over him as his water bottle disappeared from his sight, clutching him tight in its grip, leaving him sputtering like he was trying to breathe through a blanket of water as he slowly walked over to the other counter.

“Oh my god.” Another barista, returning from the back room of the shop, said, spotting James waiting by the counter. “Is that--”

“Yep.” The barista with his water bottle said, unquestionably angry. “Asked for some water. He’s run clear out.”

“Oh boy.” The second barista shot a glance toward him. “Does he know that you’re--”

The barista with his water bottle held it out to him, a scowl on her face.

“Oh no.” She said, just loudly enough for him and all the other customers to overhear. “I don’t think he knows he ranted at me on twitter for just posting a picture, but whatever. At least I don’t have to sleep with a reporter for good press.”

James took it from her hands, feeling absolutely awful. Was that what everyone thought? More than enough jokes had been made about it in the days since the picture had been leaked, that James wanted someone on his side and had earned it with his body, as if none of the articles about how he’d lead the team to the greatest success they’d had in franchise history could be trusted now. 

“Thank you for the water.” He choked out, leaving the store as quickly as he could, still feeling their gazes burning into him. 

They’d all been thinking it, when they looked at him, like he’d scammed his way to the top. Like he hadn’t worked hard, like it had been handed to him. James knew that look, had ignored it time and time again since the day he’d put on a hockey jersey for the first time. No one had ever quite believed he was good, and here was the proof, despite a Hart Trophy, despite a Stanley Cup, despite everything he did. 

His heart beat wildly in his chest, thrashing about behind his ribs like it was trying to run away from him, and he continued to jog along his route, back toward his apartment, brain churning out thoughts that he could not ignore or control. He was being followed. They were going to follow him home and Lily would be there and things would get even worse. Lily’s friends already hated him anyway, so what was putting her in danger one more time on the already long list of mistakes he’d made?

His apartment building was a welcome sight and he followed a car through the parking structure gate rather than going through the front and having to talk to someone else. He jogged up, following the cement wall up to the fourth floor door and slipping through it practically unseen, sprinting around corners until he found his apartment door, fumbling in his pockets for his keys. His fingers slipped clumsily over and around the metal as he dropped them again and again, unable to hold them for long enough to unlock the door, and he took a deep, shuddering breath before trying again, just barely jamming them into the keyhole in the doorknob before his fingers gave up on their purpose yet again. 

His breathing was unsteady and uneven, and his heart stopped in his chest as the door opened slowly to reveal Lily, confused, obviously having expected him to be out for longer. 

“James?” He heard Lily say, her voice feeling like it was miles away. He could only imagine what he looked like, soaked with sweat and seconds from collapsing to the floor, hands scrabbling for purchase on the door frame. Something, anything to keep him upright, to maintain the facade of capability for just a second longer. “James, babe, look at me. What happened?”

“I can’t-- I can’t.” He shook his head, blinking rapidly. It felt heavier than it usually did. “I was-- I was on my run and-- and I needed water so I asked-- I asked someone at a coffee shop to fill it up, if, if they could and--” He paused, feeling starved for air, like he was drowning in plain sight. “You weren’t-- you weren’t easy on me because you liked me, right?”

“What?” Lily looked thrown by the change in topic and shook her head, searching his eyes as if they held the answers she needed. “I wasn’t… I didn’t take it easy on you. Is that what this is about?” 

“I can’t-- I can’t breathe, I can’t, I can’t--” James clutched at his chest. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“Do I need to call an ambulance?” Lily asked, trying to guide him inside. She looped an arm around him, bringing him inside with halting steps as he struggled just to put one foot in front of the other. She went back for his keys, which had fallen onto the hallway floor, and then was right by his side. “James--”

“No, no, don’t do that, don’t do that.” James shook his head. “I can-- I can handle this. I can do it. It’s fine, I don’t need-- please, don’t.”

“Let’s sit down, okay? Just sit down and breathe, babe.” Lily said gently. She began rubbing her hand up and down his back, his labored breathing leaving him gasping as he leaned against her.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He choked out, blinking back tears. “I didn’t want to scare you again. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this.”

“Don’t apologize, okay? There’s nothing… you don’t have to apologize. Just breathe, okay?” She said quietly, unaware that the hand tracing a soothing path along his back was shaking. “I love you, James. You’re going to be just fine.”

“I’m sorry.” He hung his head, trying to force himself to take deep, steady breaths. “I should’ve-- I shouldn’t have come home. I’m sorry.” 

He’d known how much he’d scared her in Toronto and still, he’d selfishly chosen himself, had come barging in, expecting her to fix all of his problems. It wasn’t her job to fix him. He had to do that himself, but instead, he’d chosen the easy way out, like he always did.

“Where else should you have gone?” Lily frowned, her gaze sweeping over him. “This is your home.”

“Could’ve just-- toughed it out. I didn’t-- I didn’t need to upset you.” He dug his knuckles into the middle of his chest like it would relieve some of the pressure building inside him. 

“James, babe, listen to me. I’d be way more upset if I found out you were wandering around Seattle like this, than knowing you’re here, safe, with me. Please… don’t worry about upsetting me. I’m okay.” She promised, wishing he’d look at her. 

“You--you sure?” He locked eyes with her hesitantly, obviously afraid of something, though of what, she couldn’t tell.

“Positive.” Lily said resolutely. “I’m so glad you got home in one piece.” 

“Somebody said I only got here by sleeping with you.” He finally was able to form the words and they came tumbling out of him like an avalanche. “That I couldn’t get good press any other way.”

“What a jackass.” Lily murmured, reaching for James’ hand. “You asked earlier if I took it easy on you because of what happened with us. And the answer is no, I didn’t.” She said honestly. “I asked the questions I needed to, always. That’s what we all do in there, you were no different, even when I started thinking about how cute you are.”

“That’s— that’s one thing off the list, I guess.” James smiled, though it seemed fake, mustered up simply to put her at ease. “I’m sorry about-- about all of this.” Now that he was slowly coming back to himself, he was even more acutely aware of the position he’d put Lily in. “I know Toronto scared you and-- and I tried not to freak you out last time, but--"

“No more apologies. Please?” Lily said softly. “I know you feel bad about this. And I know it’s hard on you, to feel like you’re hurting me. But I meant what I said. I’m glad you came home, that we could talk at least a little.” 

“I’ll try.” James swallowed hard. “I just-- I don’t get it. It just happens and I feel like shit for doing anything. No matter what I choose, it’s always the bad option.”

“What can I do to help you right now?” Lily asked, relieved at least that his breathing was mostly back to normal, that he didn’t seem to be struggling as much as he was when he came through the door.

“Can you stay?” He asked, trying not to let the immense weight of the guilt he felt show on his face. “Just, uh, hold me some? I guess?” Shame clawed at his insides like a wild animal. “It’s just-- it’s stupid. I got it. You don’t have to worry about me.” He sunk back into himself like they all did in the locker room after a loss, offering himself up to the storm of emotions within him like a sacrifice. “I got it.”

“Do you know what would make me feel good right now?” Lily asked, after watching a range of emotions flash across his face. “If we could go in your room and lay down together. Are you up for that?” 

“If you want.” James said, trying not to sound too grateful. 

“I do. Come on, babe.” Lily tugged lightly on his hand as if she had a chance in hell of actually getting him to his feet. But when he rose, she kept an arm around his middle, leading him down the hall. 

“I’m sorry about this.” He said, knowing she’d told him not to apologize anymore. The words came out unbidden, like they were saying themselves because he wouldn’t. “I keep hurting you.”

“I know you are.” Lily said, guiding him so he was sitting on the edge of his bed. “But you’re not hurting me, James. You're so good to me. For me, okay?” Lily gently carded a hand through his hair. “You’re sweet and kind and funny, and sometimes you have a hard time. A bad day. And I want to be here for that, too. For all of it.”

“I could’ve handled it myself.” James said, feeling oddly drained, like he’d tried to run a marathon. “I should’ve. It’s not-- It’s not your responsibility. To be here for everything.”

“I love you. So it kind of is.” She tugged at the bottom of his shirt. “Let’s get this off of you and get you comfortable, okay?”

“Okay.” James nodded slowly, worming his way out of his shirt. He balled it up in his hands, tossing it in the vague direction of the hamper. He’d pick it up later. 

Together, they got him out of his clothes and into an old shirt and pajama pants, perfect for a few hours in bed. Lily kissed his forehead, encouraging him to all but fall back against the pillows before she went to put his clothes in the hamper. 

With that taken care of, she crawled into bed with him, scooting up along the pillows so she could pull him into her arms, holding him, grounding him, she hoped, the way he did for her with so much ease and love.

* * *

 

Lily wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but the next thing she knew, she was sitting up groggily, stumbling toward the direction of her ringing phone in the other room so she could get it before it woke James. 

“Hey, mom.” Lily answered, scrubbing a hand over her face. They’d spoken once since the picture incident. It had been a mercifully brief call, with a surprisingly small amount of guilting and hand wringing, and Lily had to wonder why her mom was calling again in such a short time span.

“Lily, you sound tired.”

“I was just napping.” Lily said, keeping her voice low as she looked back toward James’ room. “What’s up?”

“Your father and I were talking, and we decided it’s about time to meet James, isn’t it?” 

Lily laughed, sounding borderline hysterical, before slapping a hand over her mouth. It took a full minute for her to compose herself enough to respond. 

“Is this about the picture?”

“Well, if you two are that serious…”

“We are.” Lily admitted. “Yeah, um, he has a lot going on so I’ll have to get back to you about that, okay, mom?”

“Just don’t wait too long, alright? I’ve already started planning the menu.”

“Great.” Lily said, sinking down on the couch, fighting the urge to drop her head in her hands as she ended the call. “That’s great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James has an anxiety attack which is brought on by many factors including a comment that he only gets good press because he's slept with Lily. This fuels other thoughts about him not being good enough to get to where he is, and whether or not everyone thinks that. Lily is home when he arrives there, showing intense physical signs of anxiety. She asks if he needs an ambulance and he says no. Instead they sit together and piece together what happened, with Lily confused but reassuring James the best she can. The scene ends with James calmer and the pair cuddling and falling asleep together.


	7. Gay And European

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An untimely visit leads to a revelation no one saw coming (okay, Lily Evans did see it, but one is barely more than none) and James Potter and Lily Evans waste a lot of wrapping paper.

It was early. 

Lily knew that much when she stumbled out of the warmth of her blankets, grabbing the baseball bat that she kept leaning at the end of her bed, holding it in a tight grip as she threw open her door to confront the loud sounds coming from the living room. 

Her sleep muddled brain, upon hearing the commotion, assumed they were being robbed or something equally sinister because of the early hour. Lily wandered down the hall, baseball bat held high, and stopped dead at the sight of two Metro rookies in her living room.

“Is James awake?” Felix asked, awkwardly tugging at the belt loops of his not so purposefully ripped jeans. “He said it would be all right if we came by.” Bleary eyed and far less composed than he had been at the dinner party, it was much easier to remember that Felix had just turned twenty a few weeks ago, in the middle of the Cup run. “He did say I could come by, but this one’s free with purchase.” He looked over at Tage, something akin to a fond smile on his face. “Like they sell the shoes.”

“Shoes, right.” Lily looked between Felix and Tage, who nudged Felix with a smile as she hastily hid the bat behind her back. “Let me get James.”

Lily hurried from the room so she could knock none too gently at James’ door. “Babe, your kids are here. Rise and shine!” 

“Where?” James tumbled out of bed, nearly tripping over his own feet in his eagerness to get up. “Wait. Which ones?”

“Felix and Tage.” Lily informed him.

“Oh, good, yeah, they’re good to wait without supervision.” James heaved a sigh of relief. “I’ll brush my teeth and put on actual pants and shit. They’ll be fine. Felix just wanted to come chill for a bit before he goes back to Sweden for the rest of the summer tomorrow.”

“That’s great, but maybe next time mention it to me? Because I almost beat them to death with my in home security device.” Lily showed off the bat, scrubbing at her face and laughing.

“Oh. Shit. That’s what I forgot to say last night.” James groaned. “Sorry. If it helps, your home security device wouldn’t have done too much damage.”

“At least play into the pretense that it’ll help.” Lily frowned. “This thing’s helped me sleep for years.”

“Babe, you’ve got me now. Who needs a bat when you’ve got these guns, right?” James chuckled, flexing as a joke. “Right, right, teeth, pants, then the boys.”

“We can hear you, Cap.” Felix called out. “Please quit being disgusting with your girlfriend, we’ve only got so much time.”

“Bro.” Tage laughed. “We’ve got nothing but time. You’ve been packed for like two weeks and you aren’t leaving until tomorrow afternoon. Locate your chill.”

“Tomorrow afternoon and they come around this early.” Lily muttered, prepared to wander back in the direction of her own room for her own clothes and a shower. 

“Felix has plans for them, probably.” James shrugged, kicking off his sweatpants before digging through his drawers. “They always come over this early because it means they get free breakfast.”

Lily took a long second to admire the view as James hunted for clean pants, before clearing her throat and backing away. “Who can pass up Cap time and food? I’m going to grab a shower. I’ll be out in a bit.” 

“Cool.” James grinned. “I’ll be right out, boys. Don’t touch anything and no murder, okay?”

“No promises, Cap!” Tage called back cheerfully. “Felix looks like he’s got murder on his mind, and who am I to stop him?” 

“I will keep him in line, Cap.” Felix sounded absolutely exasperated. “He knows who’s really in charge.”

Tage let out an indignant sound so loud, Lily heard it from the end of the hall and couldn’t help her smile.

Once he’d finished brushing his teeth, James made his way to the living room, finding Felix and T sprawled out over the length of the couch, whispering excitedly to each other. They hardly noticed him until he cleared his throat, at which point, Tage looked thoroughly embarrassed.

“Good morning. How’s everything been?” James smiled. 

Since the first day he’d defended Felix to Remus before training camp, James had fostered a special kind of affection for him, and over the course of the year, he’d been more than justified. Felix’s terrible attitude had been nothing more than a case of a child half a world away from home, confronted with a monumental time difference that made talking to his family tough. He’d been polite enough with the media, but it had taken him quite some time to warm up to the team, between having to communicate entirely in a second language and learning the names, faces and personalities of unfamiliar people. Felix, even at his most relaxed, was undoubtedly grouchy and about as welcoming as a cactus, but he had his sweet, endearing moments that made up for all the hassle and then some. A large chunk of those moments, to everyone’s surprise, had been prompted by Tage, who Felix had begun following around like some sort of stalker gargoyle.

Tage, just as James had predicted, had been the bright spot of their year. Upon Peter’s departure, he’d proven himself able and willing to step up and fill his shoes, and whispers around the league were already claiming that Seattle had found themselves a replacement for Peter Pettigrew from inside. James had been trying to call Tage by his name more often, trying not to link the two of them any more than the media was already trying to, but it was hard not to look at him, with his wide smile, bright eyes, and big ideas, and not think of the Peter he’d once known, full of wild dreams and the determination to achieve them.

“The house is clean. We are clean. We are somewhat well fed.” Felix nodded slowly. “Things are going far better than they could be.”

“Somewhat well fed, huh?” James teased. “So you two didn’t trek across town to bum breakfast off of us.”

“No.” Felix grinned. “But if we were to get breakfast out of this, neither of us would complain.”

“We’ve got to keep our strength up, Cap. Even in offseason.” Tage explained with such an earnest expression, it was almost ridiculous. 

“Of course you do.” James could hardly keep himself from bursting into laughter as he went into the kitchen, taking random things out of the fridge under the guise of making a healthy breakfast. “Training is important. If either of you drops weight or, God forbid, muscle over the summer, that’s it. It’ll be down to Portland with you.”

“We all know I’ll be just fine.” Tage said, all smiles. “This guy on the other hand…” He remarked, jerking his head in Felix’s direction pointedly.

“I don’t need your worry.” Felix rolled his eyes. “I take care of my own training just fine.”

“Here we go again. Yes, Felix, we know you were a hotshot, playing in Sweden against real men while I languished in the WHL. Thank you for the reminder that you don’t need any help, tough guy.”

“I did play in Sweden. Against real men. Actually, that’s all right. Maybe you should talk for me from now on.” Felix smirked. “You do it well enough.” He clapped Tage on the shoulder, shaking his head. 

Tage leaned into the touch to nudge Felix with an eye roll of his own. “Swedes. Ridiculous, all of you.” 

“So, Little Pete, any plans?” James threw a bunch of stuff into a pan and turned on the stove, giving up on seeming like he had his shit together. The lucky thing about Tage and Felix, despite how often he had to feed them, was that they’d eat practically anything, so long as the vegetables were hidden well enough. The strange affection white people had for cheese had never made sense to him. “Your right hand man’s out of the country until… early September, you said. Right, Felix?”

“Right.” Felix nodded. “Tickets were cheaper at the beginning of September than end of August, and so long as I keep up my training while home, I should be well prepared when training camp begins.”

“My parents are moving here, so I’ll be able to see them more.” Tage smiled fondly just at the thought. “Other than that, I get to hang out with the guys, do my training. And maybe a little relaxing in between.”

“Oh, that’s awesome.” James smiled. “I met your dad during the Father’s Trip. He seemed really nice. It’ll be good to have some parents around you boys. Maybe you’ll go find them for food instead.”

“Not a chance.” Felix laughed. “If his parents taught him to cook, I want no part of it.”

“My mom cooks like an angel.” Tage retorted. “I just didn’t inherit any of her skill. They’ll want you to come over, though. They already know all about The Swede. Can’t wait to feed you and all of that.” 

“Capital letters, Pete?” Felix raised an eyebrow. “I’m glad I need no introduction. Saves me some trouble.”

Lily reappeared, freshly showered and considerably more awake, to find the trio gathered in the kitchen as James worked at the stove. Lily gave James’ arm an affectionate squeeze before facing the two rookies. 

“Can I get you two anything to drink?” She offered, leaning against the counter next to James, she rattled off their options. “Juice, milk, water, coffee?” 

“I’ll take water, please.” Tage said politely.

“Water for me too, thanks.” Felix said. “So, uh, what is up? Cap says we, well, I, need to be more friendly. Remus said a part of that is asking others about their day. Not much day has happened yet, but I’m sure there’s something to talk about.”

Lily filled two glasses and passed them off to the boys, smiling at Felix in particular. “You’re right, it’s still early. Sorry about greeting you two with a baseball bat, earlier, by the way.”

“My sister has done worse.” Felix shrugged.

“You’ve got a sister?” James frowned, portioning out the food he’d prepared. 

“One sister, four years younger. Recently turned sixteen. Strangely taken with archery.”

“Are you excited to see her? It must be tough, being so far from home.” Lily offered, pouring herself a glass of juice.

“Very.” Felix smiled. “I am usually the one getting them out of the house. Pappa, Mamma, and Maja have likely done nothing all year.”

“Take pictures of all the stuff you do.” Tage ordered, in his own friendly way. “I want a full report when you get back. No slacking.”

“I know you and Maja are informing on me to each other, so why do you need a second report?” Felix challenged. “She will tell you everything anyway.”

“Maybe because I want to hear it from you, smartass.”

“Fine, fine.” Felix grumbled. “I’ll report back as well.”

Lily flicked a glance in James’ direction before taking a sip of her juice to keep from laughing at the pair. They seemed particularly close, even with the sometimes prickly dynamic, and Lily was almost fascinated by them.

“All right boys.” James clapped his hands, as if summoning a swarm of preschoolers. “Food. Come on.”

Felix scrambled to his feet before choosing the most full plate with a cheeky grin, easily locating a fork. He shoveled a hefty forkful of food into his mouth, then nodded. 

“Cap makes good breakfast.” He told Lily. “It is worth keeping him for that alone.”

“Glad to know that I’ve got a backup, if Lily leaves me.” James joked.

“Don’t get too excited.” Felix deadpanned. “I have better prospects than you.”

“Sure, sure.” Tage teased. “Everyone wants a piece of the grumpiest guy on the team.”

“I am more fun in Swedish.” Felix stuck out his tongue at Tage. “It’s not my fault English is stupid.”

“English is stupid. That we can agree on.” 

Lily accepted a plate from James with a quiet thank you before settling in, enjoying the company of the boys, who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. 

“So, Felix, what are you most excited about, going home? I know your sister--”

“Show Lily the pictures, Felix.” Tage interrupted, before shooting Lily an apologetic glance. “He has a million pictures of Maja on his phone. She’s really something.” 

“Oh. Do you want to see the pictures?” Felix pulled out his phone, pulling up the folder of photos of his sister that he’d saved. “Here!”

Lily accepted the phone and began scrolling through, smiling at the young woman who looked so much like a more open, still mischievous version of her older brother. There were several shots of her with a bow, standing tall and proud before the final photo where she was pulling a silly face for the person taking the shots.

“She’s lovely, Felix.” Lily remarked, handing back the phone. “Does she compete with archery?” 

“I haven’t asked.” Felix said through a mouthful of food, before swallowing it down. “I might get shot for not knowing.”

“Sisters can be like that.” Lily smiled, before taking another bite of food. 

“I think it is mostly for fun. Mamma and I are the athletes in the family.” Felix said. “If reading is a sport, then Pappa is an athlete. But it would be a very sad sport to watch.”

“It’s pretty amazing, both you and your mom playing hockey.” Lily pointed out. “A little more exciting than Olympic reading, too, huh?”

“She’s very proud of me, even if she wishes I’d stayed closer to home.” Felix smiled. “Much more exciting than reading.”

“I can’t imagine moving to a new country, even for hockey, which is the greatest sport in the world.” Lily admitted, taking her empty plate to the sink so she could rinse it. 

“It’s a challenge.” Felix shrugged. “But we like that. Same drive that makes us play, makes us take it on.” 

“It’s both easier and harder than you think.” James added. “The common thread of the game is always there. It’s what you do with yourself when there’s no hockey to play that’s difficult.”

“Very true.” Felix nodded. “I was lucky to have Tage here. To introduce me to things.”

“And what did the rest of us do?” James teased.

“Very little.” 

“It’s good to have guys who get it.” Tage agreed. “Without that, the change would be a lot harder.”

“You guys keep sounding mature like that and we’ll give you rookies next year.” James laughed. 

“Never mind! I take back all that I said.” Tage said, holding up both hands, clearly teasing. 

“We do not need a rookie.” Felix grimaced. 

“Speaking for both of you now, huh?” Lily laughed. 

“We live together.” Felix shrugged. “If one of us has a rookie, we both have one.”

“True.” Tage agreed. “Co-parenting is serious business, too.” 

“We are too young for a child.” Felix looked haunted. “We cannot even do laundry yet.”

“You can’t-- what?” James asked, horrified. “Why didn’t you ask anyone for help?”

“Sirius told us to Google it.” Felix said. “We could not figure out how to spell it.”

“Oh, no.” Lily dropped her head in her hands, fighting off laughter. 

“The machine overflows every so often, but we make do.” Tage shrugged.

“Sometimes I put the soap in and it just bubbles. Like it is threatening me.” Felix scowled. 

“Okay, okay, you’re too young for a rookie.” James shook his head. “Boys, come on, that kind of stuff is why you have me and Remus.”

“Not Sirius?” Felix asked curiously.

“You know better than to ask that question.”

“If you want, James and I can come over and help you out.” Lily offered Tage. “Then you can teach Felix when he gets back.”

“Yes, that would be good. Thank you!”

“Tage is a good teacher. Very thorough.” Felix said, directing a mischievous wink accompanied by a quick flash of teeth at his best friend. Tage, who seemed only to go by his first name with Felix, glanced at the other man for a long moment, before looking away with a flush on his cheeks. 

“Breakfast was good, Cap.” Tage rushed out, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “Thank you for hosting us.”

“No problem, kid. It’s nice to see you both getting along so well.” James smiled. “Good to see one of us can get through to Felix, anyway.”

“I’m not that awful.” Felix protested.

“He’s not at all.” Tage spoke up. “He’s a good guy. A little prickly sometimes, but it’s fun.”

Once again, Lily glanced at James first, as if to check that he was seeing and hearing what she was, before looking back at Tage and Felix, who seemed perfectly content, almost in their own little world right before her eyes. 

“How are you two going to last two months apart?” James teased, and Felix looked at Tage, a curious expression on his face that disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. Despite all the times James had brought up the duration of his visit back home, it seemed to have only hit Felix now that he and Tage would be apart for two months. 

“We’ll figure it out.” Felix said, tearing his eyes away from Tage’s face as he cleared his throat. “We’ve been imposing. I’ll see you before camp, Cap?”

“Of course.” James said. “Any time you guys need me, I’ll be here. Except for the days marked off on the team calendar.”

“It was nice to see you both. See you around this summer, Cap. Lily.” Tage said, taking his cue from Felix that it was time to go. 

“It was good to see you both. Felix, enjoy being home. We’ll see you soon, Tage.” Lily offered.

James herded the boys toward the front door like sheep, laughing as they contradicted themselves about leaving time and time again. Felix dived in for a quick hug from his captain before nearly dragging Tage down the hallway by his wrist.

“They’re a good set of boys, aren’t they?”

“Good.” Lily agreed. “And, dare I say it, very gay.”

“Gay?” James looked puzzled. “I thought they were just, you know, European or something.”

“Or something. Look, maybe I’m reading them wrong, like, I’m not, but let’s say I am… they could just be really close.” Lily admitted. “But they kind of only have eyes for each other.”

“Weirdly, I didn’t think about the fact that they could be both.” James nodded slowly. “Well, we’ll clear that hurdle when we get to it, right?”

“Right.”

* * *

“Those don’t look like fun texts.” James, as he often did, wrapped his arms around Lily from behind. “Who’s bothering you?”

“My parents.” Lily groaned, leaning into him. “Specifically, my mom.”

“That’s a fun one.” James winced. “What does she want?”

“Ah, well. To meet you? That wasn’t supposed to come out as a question, I’m just so horrified that it kind of did.”

“Oh.” James said, shocked before hugging her tighter. “Well. I guess I’ll have to meet them, then.”

“That’s one option.” Lily muttered, typing on her phone before shoving it aside. “Or we could put it off indefinitely.”

“No, we can’t.” James sighed. “That would be irresponsible of us. I’m sure your parents aren’t too fond of me after Portland, so, for your sake, as much as that isn’t what you want, we kind of have to.”

“I just… Mom and Dad are manageable. But I don’t want you to have to deal with Petunia and Vernon. Ever. Which sounds unrealistic, but I’m pretty good at dodging them, so we could make a serious go of it.”

“I don’t have five years of media training for nothing, babe.” James reminded her. “They sound absolutely horrendous, from what you’ve said. But we’ll make it work. Or we’ll just commit halfway and take your parents out for lunch sometime.”

“Lunch would be good.” Lily admitted. “The thing is, I know you have media training and can go into Cap mode. But I don’t want to put you around people like that, you know? I don’t want to be responsible for introducing you to two people who make putting people down an artform.”

“Then we’ll just do lunch with your parents.” James squeezed her shoulder. “It seems like an option we’re both comfortable with. And they look way worse inviting themselves out to a meal than they would just showing up, don’t they? Two problems solved.”

“Yeah.” Lily managed a smile. “That could work.”

“I’ll be with my parents from next Wednesday for about a week, but it’s best to set something up after we get back from the wedding, right?” James frowned thoughtfully. “Before then there’s just too much to do. Plus, any amount of prep time is good for us, right?”

“Yeah, before then would be a little much. We can work on a date when we get back.” 

“Perfect.” James smiled. “One weight off your shoulders, right?”

“Right.” Lily turned to kiss his cheek. “Absolutely. Thanks for talking me down a little there.”

“It’s my job, babe.” James laughed. “You know, I’m starting to realize that being a captain and a boyfriend aren’t all too different. Maybe one’s just good practice for the other, right?”

“Maybe you’re on to something there.” Lily admitted with a fond smile. “You’re great at both, so that’s one explanation.” 

“I’ll have to keep that winning record up.” James said. “Even if Vernon and Petunia try to get in the way.”

“If I had it my way they wouldn’t meet you until the wedding. And maybe not even then.” Lily blurted. The words flew out of her mouth and Lily was silence for approximately one moment before shrugging off James’ hold and backing away, both hands up. “Okay, that did not mean to come out. I don’t know where it came from and let’s just pretend it was never said.” 

“A wedding.” James smiled again, gleeful despite himself. “You’ve thought that far ahead?”

“Yeah, I have.” Lily admitted. “Maybe. Once or twice.” 

“It’s a good thought.” James said. “Can’t say I haven’t thought about it myself.”

“Which is wild.” Lily laughed, relieved at his reaction. “Because we’re supposed to be taking this slow. Yet here are.”

“Thinking about it doesn’t mean we’re gonna jump into that kind of commitment. Gotta give ourselves a season or two at least to see if we can both do that kind of relationship between work and travelling and stuff.” James shrugged. “That’s why rewind buttons exist. So you can hit fast forward a few time without consequences.”

“True. I like thinking ahead with you in mind, not even marriage or whatever. Just the future in general. Seeing where this will take us.”

“Somewhere good, I hope.” James said. “I, uh, I worry, because of how… how things have been with me recently, but… I think we’d both rather be with each other than anywhere else right now and that’s good enough for me.”

“We’re figuring a few things out.” Lily admitted. “All couples have to do that, in some way. Try not to worry too much, alright? Like you said, we’re both in this.”

“Yeah. I’ll have some time to chill, with my parents. I’ve got a couple media obligations and stuff, but it won’t be too bad. Mostly time with them, which will be nice.”

“You deserve a whole lot of chill time. Will you, uh, be seeing Peter this time?” 

“He lives across the street, babe.” James sighed. “I can’t imagine I can last a week without running into him or his parents somehow. I’ve set aside some time to talk to Remus before I leave, tomorrow, I think, so he knows what’s going on on that front. It’s just-- it’s complicated, and a lot of people want me to stop talking to him or being around him, but… our parents are friends and we’re neighbors back home and it’s just-- it’s complicated. It’s a lot more complicated than people think it is.”

“I’m guilty of being one of those people. Because he hurt you and I want him to know beyond a doubt that he had a good thing going and royally fucked it up.” Lily explained. “But I get what you’re saying. I know it’s not that easy.”

“I’m not mad at you for how you’re feeling. You’re entitled to it. He did hurt me.” James frowned. “It’s just one of those things where he’s been part of my life for long enough that I’m not ready to face that being over. Maybe it dies, from here on, but I want it to happen how it does, without outside intervention. Closure or lack thereof, I guess.”

“I get that. With someone being part of your life for so long, there isn’t really a way to make a clean break. It’s usually messy and complicated. And hard.” 

“Must’ve been tough for you. When it happened with… you know.”

“I know.” Lily nodded, neither of them needing to address Snape by name. “It was like someone threw a light switch and I was confronted with this person I didn’t know anymore. Someone I didn’t want to know.” Lily sighed. “It’s different for you and Peter, but still… I get the hurt.” 

“Yeah.” James said. “The light switch… that’s how it felt. That’s why you’re the writer, I guess.” He smiled. “You know how to say these things in a way that makes sense.”

“I do my best.” Lily smiled. “Just… if you run into him, or it gets tough, you can call or text. I know you’ve got Remus, too. And the other guys. But I’ll be around if you need anything.” 

“I know.” James leaned in for a kiss. “I’ll text you even if I don’t see him, how’s that? If Tage can do it for Felix, then I can definitely do that for you.”

Lily cupped his cheek, before leaning back to look him in the eye. “Perfect.”

* * *

[05:03] Felix: I have either made a terrible mistake or the best decision ever  
[05:04] Felix: It is hard to tell. I think it will be hard to tell for awhile.  
[05:04] Felix: See you in September, Cap

[09:31] James: Felix, you’ve got to be more specific if you want solutions. I’m not magic, kiddo  
[09:32] James: I’m here for when you want to talk. If not, see you in September :)

* * *

“I know it’s come in a bag, but maybe we should wrap it anyway?” James frowned, looking over at the pile of wrapping paper rolls he’d bought from a child in the building who had been fundraising for their school. “Just for fun. To fake them out.” He spun the roll of tape he was holding around his finger. “I mean, we got everything out already.”

“Let’s do it.” Lily tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Really wrap it. Like wrapping paper hell, so they have to work for it.” 

“I knew I loved you for a reason.” James smiled. “Let’s get to it, then. It’ll get to both of them -- G will get mopey if it’s not easy and that’ll bother Sam to no end. The perfect plan.”

“Sam will murder me for this, but not before pulling that face. The disgusted, I love you but you make it difficult one.” Lily said fondly, cutting off a large section of wrapping paper. 

“I’ve never seen it.” James said, while unwinding far too much tape and getting it all wrapped around his fingers. “She says I’m the least difficult of us, but that’s like looking at a cage full of monkeys and going ‘that one throws its own shit the least, so I like it’.”

“That’s a fair way to put it.” Lily laughed. “Sam’s been watching me screw up for too long now, for me not to be familiar with the face.”

“I prefer screwing up in private. Like you get your lead time to figure out your story and stuff.” James nodded solemnly, trying to shake his hands free. When it didn’t work, he stuck his tape covered hands to the side of the bag and tried to yank his hands free. “It’s nice to have your secrets. G says that’s an only child thing, but that’s probably because Beth practically lives in his head and Maddy’s basically the Canadian FBI.”

“Screwing up in private is the ideal.” Lily nodded, frowning as she concentrated on adding more wrapping paper, while making sure it didn’t look terrible. “I can’t wait to meet Maddy. The Canadian FBI sounds terrible and hilarious.” 

“Oh, she’s fun. You’d never expect a Daly sibling to be chill, but Maddy does it well. I mean, one of them had to be the chill one.” James shrugged. “I got to see them pretty often when we were in juniors ‘cause Maddy loved coming to see G play and Beth would tag along. It was a hell of a trip, from BC, but they’d try and make it down on school breaks and stuff. It’ll be nice to catch up.”

“That’s sweet. And I’m guessing you guys benefited from someone looking after you.” 

“Thank god we had billet families.” James grimaced, finally freeing himself from the veritable forest of tape they’d been wrapped in. “If we’d had to look after ourselves like now? I’d be dead. Jordy too. He couldn’t even open cans reliably when I met him. Not, like, food cans, I’m talking cans with the tab. He’d just rip it off and then look at it.”

“Oh, Jordy, no.” Lily laughed, only a little distracted as she prepared to add another layer. “Chaotic jock boy that he is.”

“Chaotic jock boy. That’s pretty accurate.” James smiled. “He made a bad impression, during the dinner and he’s a bit sore about it still. He wants to have a talk with you, once we’re all in St. Louis, so be ready. I swear, he’s not going to be creepy.”

“He wasn’t so bad.” Lily remarked, thinking back to All Star weekend. “Was he a little much? Yeah. But pretty harmless. Either way, it’ll be an interesting talk.”

“When you get to know him, he tones it down a little more.” James said. “The noise is mostly just him being nervous, really. Just comes out in a really weird way.” He laughed. “Him as our captain was hilarious. We had a great time, even if we didn’t ever do much in the playoffs.”  
“And that’s why I trust him, despite the loud factor.” Lily admitted. “Because he’s important to you, and you love him.”

“He is important to me.” James nodded eagerly, groping around for the scissors before cutting himself a large piece of wrapping paper to cover up his tape mistake. “He’s done a lot for all of us, you know? Doesn’t get the credit he deserves. He likes to remind us that G and I were difficult children to raise and I get that. We were… We were weird kids. Sam got us at our absolute worst, or at least what I hope was our absolute worst, so it’s only improvements from here, right?”

“I can only imagine, to be honest. Jordy put in the work, huh? But as for your absolute worst days being behind you, I don’t think we can say that seeing as we just triple wrapped your best friend’s wedding gift.” Lily teased. “You’re still a wild man, Potter.” 

“He’ll like it a lot. He’ll probably ball it up and try to make Sonic catch it with his face.” James said fondly. “And we get to watch, probably, if we warn him in advance.”

“That cat is ridiculous and I respect him for it. G’s videos with him are my pick me up on a bad day.”

“Sonic is the best dog and the worst cat at the same time.” James said. “I love him. He was even cuter when he was a little tiny kitten. We’ve got so many pictures of G holding him and he’s huge, even for a hockey player, and little kitten Sonic basically fit in his hand.”

“Someday I need to see those pictures.” Lily told him. She finished taping down the final corner of the present, stepping back to take a look. “It looks… decent. For the amount of tape and wrap that went into it. Go, us.”

“It’s a puzzle and that’s what’s important.” James smiled, proud of them both. “Just like marriage. Wait. No. Marriage should be easy. But I guess you can just rip through wrapping paper anyway, but you wouldn’t want to do that to a-- Never mind, I’m reading too much into this. We’ve used enough paper. Too many trees.”

“We’ve used enough paper.” Lily echoed. “A lot of trees, but a good cause, babe.”

“The best cause.”

* * *

James settled in on the couch beside Remus, who looked to be doing much better -- the recovery had proceeded without a single complication, thanks in no small part to Hope Howell, who had hounded her son until he complied willingly with every restriction on his activity and recommendation from the training staff. He was taking it slow, which James was glad about -- an MCL tear, though serious, was not as bad as it could have been. The physical therapy was garbage, from what he’d gotten from Remus’ anger fueled contributions to the group chat, but it was better than being sidelined for far too long.

“You heading back home tomorrow?” Remus asked, sitting comfortably across from James. 

“Yeah. I’m pumped to go back, but that comes with problems.” James shifted uncomfortably. “Peter shaped problems.”

“That worm.” Remus remarked with his usual amount of venom when it came to Peter. Under normal circumstances, Remus had an almost too forgiving nature, but Peter hurting James the way he had didn’t make Remus feel particularly inclined to extend any understanding, forgiveness, or grace to him. “If he had any shame, he wouldn’t show his face around you. But it’s Pete we’re talking about here, so he’ll keep popping up.”

“I know, I know.” James sighed, shaking his head. No matter how often he told Remus it was not as simple as cutting Peter off forever, it never seemed to stick. “It’s not that I’m worried about so much, though. There’s, uh, bigger stuff on my plate.” He looked around the room for Hope before leaning in closer. “I’ve, uh, been getting bad again. I think Lily’s told you.”

“We’ve talked.” Remus admitted, failing to look casual as he adjusted his position, a sudden sign of restlessness. “How bad?” 

“Since Toronto… two big ones?” James ran a hand through his hair. “One just felt like it went on forever and the other one was just kind of faster. As fast as these things go. Lily talked me down.”

“Oh, James. That’s rough.” Remus grimaced. “It’s good you have her, that she helps. But you still look stressed. What’s going through that brain of yours?” He asked, cocking his head. 

To the average observer, James looked fine enough. The agitation that had plagued him for longer than Remus had known him, was masked, though barely, in the careful way James held himself, even in the company of one of his closest friends. Remus couldn’t help but wonder how long James could continue holding this beast at bay, and what the consequences would be if he couldn’t manage it.

“I’m worried about traveling like this, obviously. More worried about being at home without her right there. My parents are… you know how they are about hockey and stuff.” James shrugged. “I’m not expecting much on that end -- the Cup doesn’t change much there, which is both good and bad, right? I’ll just get ragged about college and settling down again, which is a new addition, thanks to her.” A laugh burst out of him like the last squeeze of toothpaste from a nearly empty tube. “Yeah. Not gonna be a very relaxing vacation even without factoring Peter in, that’s for sure.”

“Traveling right now isn’t optimal. Hell, neither are parents. Or that shithead, Pete.” Remus agreed, nearly snarling the name. “It’s a rough time for you.”

“I just-- it feels like everything’s changed, which is true, but it’s just-- it’s not in a good way. Nothing that used to calm me down works and I just feel like I’m… overly reliant on her to fix everything.” James sighed. “I don’t want to be her job, you know? I want to be her boyfriend. I want to be able to go out with her without feeling like I’m being watched by everyone. Like everyone’s watching for me to fuck up in some way.”

“If you’re having this much trouble, maybe your parents could visit here?” Remus suggested, watching as James quickly pulled a face at the notion.

“God no.” James grimaced. “They’d want to meet everyone and I am not letting them meet Sirius unless they absolutely have to. I managed to keep them away from him at the Awards ceremony and that was stressful enough. I’ll leave things how they are, I guess. It can’t be too bad, can it?” He looked up at Remus with wide eyes, looking like the child Remus had taken under his wing on the first day of Seattle’s inaugural training camp once again. “I’ll figure it out somehow.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Remus echoed, as he had many times in years past, with far too much confidence for someone whose promises had backfired previously. “Get away for awhile. Come back to Lily and the rest of us. Maybe even feeling better, who knows.”

Both men latched on to the suggestion, moving to other topics, with the matter uneasily settled for now.

* * *

After getting up to see James off, Lily spent some quality time back in her bed, missing him. It wasn’t the same as a roadie. She knew that, logically. He was off to see his parents and get away from the pressure of Seattle, even if only for a few days. But it didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye to him, to be away from him, when she knew his mental health wasn’t holding up that well. 

To distract herself, she decided to make good on her offer to Tage, knowing he was likely as lonely as she was, and texted him to see if she could head over and show him how to use the washing machine in his apartment. He responded enthusiastically, with a string of thumbs up emojis, so with a smile on her face, Lily dressed and headed over. 

It was only a ten minute drive and she was on his doorstep, knocking as she shoved her keys into the depths of her purse. The door swung open abruptly and Tage appeared, filling the doorway but managing to convey a sweetness with his boyish smile that was at odds with his size.

“Lily! Hello. Come in.” Tage took a few steps back, folding his arms across his chest and then dropping them to wring his hands, as if unsure what to do with himself. 

Lily noted his fidgeting with a frown while setting her purse on the kitchen counter. She didn’t know Tage particularly well, but he had always seemed at ease during previous meetings. Out of everyone, he could be counted on to have a joke on hand, or a smile ready. But today there was very little of that. Lily could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him as she regarded him thoughtfully. 

“Hey, Tage. How’ve you been?”

“Good. Fine. Summer.” He blurted, before closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Sorry, I haven’t been speaking English as much. Visiting my parents here, everything is in Danish again.” He let out a deep breath. “I’ve been well. Relaxing. Spending time with the other guys.”

“Some much deserved time off.” Lily said agreeably, as Tage nodded and then went back to folding his arms across his chest. “You ready for that laundry lesson?”

“Laundry! Yes, that will be a great help. This way.” 

Lily followed him through the sparsely decorated apartment and came to a stop outside the laundry room where an overflowing laundry basket was stored, along with three different kinds of laundry detergent and two packs of dryer sheets. 

“I wasn’t sure.” Tage shrugged. “Just bought a few things that seemed right.” 

“You did good. We can work with all of this.”

Tage came to stand next to her as Lily regarded the machine, before beginning to instruct him how to work the most basic settings. She was delving into the mystery of whites and colors and how to wash them, when she noticed Tage staring off into space, at some point above the washer.

“Tage?” Lily said carefully. “You with me?”

“What?” Tage shook himself, frowning apologetically as he did so. “I heard some, yes. I’m sorry. I just…” He shrugged before looking away, almost guiltily. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Yes!” Tage answered brightly, automatically, before biting his lip and shaking his head. “I… if I tell you something, will it stay with you, like with Cap? You cannot tell.” He said somberly.

“It will stay with me.” Lily said slowly. “What’s going on?” She asked, fearing the worst.

“Felix wrote me a love letter.” Tage blurted, his blue eyes almost comically wide as the words tumbled out. “Put it under my pillow so I’d find it once he was gone.”

“That…” Lily considered what he’d just told her, trying to match up the actions to the snarky Felix she’d met on several occasions. It seemed so unlikely until she recalled the way Felix and Tage had acted around one another on their last visit. The way their eyes met and held, even as they joked, their actions beyond friendly ease and bordering on something intimate. “That was a surprise, huh?”

“Yes! I haven’t told anyone.” He explained in a rush. “It’s not safe…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I know that. But I can’t keep this to myself.”

“It’s pretty big.” Lily agreed, trying to imagine how she’d feel in his situation. “Do you… I mean, will things be okay when he gets back?”

“Do I also love him, you mean?” Tage asked bluntly. “I do.” His serious demeanor eased as he smiled at the admission. “I don’t know how any of this will work. It’s almost too much to consider. My friend. My teammate. Any more feels like playing with fire.”

“Maybe.” Lily said carefully. “Don’t focus too hard on the rest. At least, not while he’s gone. For now, being in love and having him feel the same is pretty great, right? You can handle the details together, so it’s not so overwhelming.”

“Very good advice.” Tage nodded. “But you would have a lot of thoughts on love and details, with your own situation.” Abruptly, he began backtracking. “I do not mean with the pictures of you and Cap. I wouldn’t joke about that. I was not trying to, anyway. Please don’t tell him, he’ll murder me.”

“James, murder you?” Lily laughed. “He adores you, Tage. Nothing to worry about.”

“Sure, he likes me. But you are his love.” Tage pointed out, smiling a little when he realized he had not offended her. “Very different. And making you upset would earn me a good yell or worse from him.” 

“You’re safe from a good yell. Or worse.” Lily promised. “What do you think of telling me more about Felix and how you came to love him? Unless you want to keep that to yourself, which I understand.”

Tage smiled as if recognizing a kindred spirit. He gently ushered Lily out of the laundry room, switching off the light as they went, and guided her over to the massive couch so they could sit. 

“This requires a comfortable seat. And some time.” Tage explained. “Let’s see. I first met him at the draft. We were both out of our depth, but came to each other because we would be teammates.” Tage informed her, smiling at the memory. “We left that day and started talking through text, so by the time we came here, we were well on our way to being friends.”

“That must’ve been nice.” Lily said thoughtfully. “To at least know him.”

“Yes, it was good. Teammates. Roommates. We got along well enough for it to work.” Tage nodded. “I did not know it would be something like love for awhile. I, ah, admired him as a friend. As well as physically.” He admitted. “But there is something about his humor, the bite to it, while knowing that he regards me as a friend. We can joke, sometimes too much, but there is a warmth there.” Tage ducked his head as his cheeks heated. “Too many jokes, but I still feel I have a place with him. It has been comforting. And comfort turned to… well, this.”

“He makes you feel good?”

“Yes.” Tage nodded enthusiastically. “I see him at work. At home. And still, if I could see him more, I would. If there were more hours in the day.”

“I understand that feeling.” Lily said softly, James’ face coming to mind without her permission. 

“Not to overstep, but you and Cap… it seems good. And I’m glad, for you both.” Tage said, obviously selecting his words with care.

“It is. The best, actually.” Lily told him before shaking her head. “Enough about me. What do you plan to do now that you’ve read the letter?”

It didn’t take much prompting for Tage to launch back into the topic at hand and whether he should have the conversation in person at the end of the summer, or get to it right away. Lily curled up on the couch with her legs under her, getting comfortable, as they tackled the issue at hand together, one hour, and then another going by without either of them noticing.


	8. Sunny San Jose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James visits his parents, Lily and Remus have a talk, and the internet strikes again!

The morning light filtered through the old, cracked blinds into his childhood bedroom, and James Potter sat upright as the warmth caressed his face, scowling. He was a morning person, and always had been, but after years of living in Seattle, he felt more like hissing at the sun like a vampire who’d forgotten sunblock rather than enjoying it. He was entirely too large for the bed he’d slept in as a child, which had been replaced with a bigger one for when he came to visit, but he could see it in his mind’s eye, the little cubbies in the headboard that he’d used to hide things, the blue stained drawers set into the base of the bed frame. He could even see the little lamp he’d kept on his nightstand, the only part of his childhood furniture that remained in this room.

It was Sunday morning, and James knew his parents’ schedule well -- Amma was likely already up, and had likely gone to the library to sign up for the next volunteering day trip, and Appa would be slowly waking up across the hall, yawning and waving his arms about like windmills. He and James would get in the car and drive the fifteen minutes down to the “good” Indian Community Center for the farmer’s market, where his father would spend hours hemming and hawing about the quality of various stand’s vegetables like James himself did in Seattle, the two of them sharing quiet jokes and memories from years long past.

He and Appa would come back from the farmer’s market, laughing and in spectacular moods, and make lunch -- Appa would try to invent something new and James would head him off at every turn, and they would end up with something at once recognizable and foreign. They would turn on the television after lunch, and Appa would fall asleep on the couch while James caught up on texts from his friends and coworkers, and Amma would wake them both up when she stormed in, full of stories and annoyances to share about everyone else in the neighborhood.

James would be in charge of dinner, his parents crowding him in the too small kitchen as they recapped every moment of their days to each other, and he’d smile then, because it was familiar. He’d lived this Sunday over and over again from as early as he could remember, though he hadn’t been allowed to help with anything involving knives or the stove until after he’d turned ten. It was a comforting routine, one he tried to keep up in Seattle and Lily had grown used to, but it felt strange, all of a sudden, to be without her now.

It felt strange to be here, in his childhood bedroom, alone, despite having lived this Sunday so many times, despite having yearned for it all through the season.

He carefully stretched out his shoulder, which was feeling much better, before quietly getting out of bed, ancient brown carpet itching the soles of his bare feet. Maybe he would change things up a little, call up an old friend in the afternoon rather than sinking into sleep, or maybe go out alone for a change, sort through his thoughts as he wandered around downtown. He wasn’t in real danger of recognition -- James hadn’t meant much to his hometown since the draft, other than being proof of the fact that San Jose’s minor hockey programs were competitive enough to stack up against St. Louis and Boston and all the other powerhouses of youth development. More often than not, he’d been an obstacle in the Sharks’ way, his status as hometown boy something to be casually thrown out in pregame segments rather than acknowledged in any significant way, and it was always a good break to come home because of that. In Seattle, his name and face were everywhere, but here, he could breathe.

“You coming out?” He hadn’t realized that he’d stopped right in front of his closet, hand gripped around a hanger, until his father called out to him from the hallway, looking rather amused. “If you’re tired, I’ll leave you to it.”

“No.” James said, yanking a random shirt off the hanger and grabbing a pair of pants from the shelf he’d carefully organized upon arriving three nights ago. “I’ll come.”

“Underwear, kiddo.” His father reminded him, eyes alight with amusement, as he barreled past him, and James groaned. “You can’t forget that! I would never let you leave the house.”

“I didn’t win a Cup for this.” He grumbled, trudging back toward his closet, and his father gave a bellow of laughter, shaking his head.

“No, I suppose you did not.”

* * *

“Are you all right to do it yourself? I know your shoulder is still bothering you.” His mother asked, from her perch on the very end of the bed, scrutinizing every movement of his hands with a critical eye.

“All they’ve asked me to limit is overhead movement, Amma.” James said, deftly tying his tie around his throat. “The rest is fine. See? I did it perfectly anyhow.” Careful not to wrinkle his pants, he joined her on the edge of the bed, a delighted smile on his face. “And now we have so much time before we have to leave.”

“Your father will eat it all up.” His mother scowled, shaking her head. “Look, he is not even home yet, and he knows it will take half an hour to get there, and another half an hour to get ready besides. Is there ever a moment where he isn’t actively complicating things? I would like to see it.”

“Amma, go easy on him.” James put an arm around his mother’s shoulders, pulling her into his side. “He means well.”

Though she insisted she was tall for a woman of her generation, his mother was still more than half a foot shorter than him -- he’d gotten lucky, inheriting his father’s height, even if he hadn’t picked up the strong build that made his father look imposing even next to James. In that way, James took after his mother, years of attempts to bulk up and keep muscle on his previously birdlike frame only now beginning to succeed.

“It is easy for you to say that. You don’t have to live with him.” She said petulantly, but smiled regardless. “It will be a big crowd tonight. Have you prepared something to say?” She reached up to smooth his hair down. “You will be asked for sure, and I would rather avoid another situation like the awards.”

James reached into the pocket of his dress shirt and pulled out a piece of paper, the edges of it worn down to a fragile softness from being folded and unfolded so often.

“Color me surprised.” His mother said, looking impressed as she read over James’ scribbles, a coherent outline of things to touch upon with specific points clearly outlined, word for word. “Why don’t you practice on me?”

“Amma, I don’t want to…” James protested, but upon seeing the mildly concerned look on his mother’s face, heaved a sigh. “Fine. We can practice.” For all his mother had been disinterested in the physical preparation hockey required of him, she had always been ready to remind him of where his mind should be before games and events and all the other mess that came with a career in the National Hockey League. “So if someone asks me to talk, I lead by thanking them for the opportunity to host such an event here and mention the importance of having a place like ICC for Indian children growing up outside India, and…”

“Say it like you will there.” His mother cut in. “Or otherwise you’ll just say your placeholders and get lost.”

“Thank you for the opportunity to host an event here. It is important to me, and many others, to have such a space where the Indian community is free to share and embrace their culture and traditions with others and to be able to bring the Stanley Cup here, as a symbol of achievement and all the way that is left to go, is deeply important to me.” James raised an eyebrow. “Shall I continue?”

“By all means.” His mother fired back, never one to back down from a challenge. “From there, where next?”

“Uh, as a child, I frequently made use of the resources that ICC provided, first as a camper, then as a camp counselor in my teenage years, and meeting another athlete, let alone another hockey player, was a rare occurrence. Through hard work and a fair bit of luck, I was able to make it as a professional, and now, I’m able to stand before you with the ultimate prize, outside of Olympic gold, proof that it is possible for anyone.” James wrung his hands. “Through ICC, I will be funding a scholarship for an athlete of limited financial means to play their sport at the highest level they can to make sure others have the same chances as me. It is important to me that athletics be acknowledged by our community as both a valid career path and an important part of life, and I would like to share what I have gotten with others.” He looked to his mother, unsure. “And then there are three more points -- personal responsibility to my community, the positive parts of representation, and then thanking everyone again as a conclusion.”

“And you know what you will say for those?” People did not often think of his mother as kind or forgiving, but in this moment, for James’ eyes only, she was both, a soft, fragile look in her eyes. “If it worries you so much to think about what you will say, maybe we should leave it alone. You do well enough on the spur of the moment. She patted his shoulder, like she often had when she was young, somehow dealing out praise and criticism all at once. “It is just a small speech. Two, three minutes at most. Then they ask questions and you answer them honestly, and that’s it. Take pictures with some kids and the Cup, and then we go home. All done.”

“I’m not five, Amma.” James said, even as the prickly tendrils of anxiety weakened at her words, disappearing into the dark depths of his head. “These things -- talking in public, being around so many people… I don’t like any of them.” He sighed. “It’s silly, really.”

“You’re my son.” His mother shrugged. “I don’t see why you would like any of those things when I don’t. It’s that simple.”

“I guess knowing where I get it from makes it a little easier to deal with.” He smiled. “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all we’ve ever asked from you.”

* * *

 

**Hockey Is For Everyone, Even In June**

James Potter Makes History as First NHLer of Indian Descent To Win Stanley Cup

 

By Anuradha Selvaraj - 15 July 2025

 

_The list of prominent (and that’s putting it lightly) players of Indian descent in the NHL was short before James Potter burst into public view -- Robin Bawa, Manny Malhotra and Jujhar Khaira. No player of Indian descent had been drafted in the first round since Manny Malhotra, who was drafted seventh overall in 1998, nearly half a decade before Potter was born. As Potter rose in the draft standings over the 2019-2020 WHL season, a whole new demographic of hockey fans were born. The Red Deer Rebels became our team. Potter became our hero. And when he was taken first overall by the Seattle Metropolitans in the NHL Entry Draft that summer, we all celebrated, because his victory was a victory for all of us. It was a given that he would’ve made history either way -- the lowest he was going to go, according to reputable scouting rankings, was fifth -- but to have an Indian-American player go first overall was astounding._

_[Inset: A picture of James Potter at the 2020 NHL Entry Draft, shortly after being taken first overall, standing between the general manager and owner of the Seattle Metropolitans.]_

_It was a lot of responsibility to put on an eighteen year old boy, but as he has done since, Potter shouldered it with ease, unapologetically maintaining his ties to the Tamilian and Indian communities in the Seattle area while excelling on the ice. As a professional player and household name, just as he did while playing in the WHL, he brought hockey to families who had never heard of it, and certainly would not have gone looking for it without him. Nowhere is this more evident than in Potter’s hometown of San Jose, where enrollment of players of Indian descent skyrocketed after he won the Calder Trophy, the first Indian-American to do so in league history._

_On navigating the extremely white world of hockey with an equally white name, James Potter said that “people see the name James Potter and don’t think of me, you know? They think of some white, blond kid with a frat t-shirt. So that made my initial reception into the league easier, I think. I had an easy name, even if I didn’t look like they were expecting”. But he acknowledges the tide is turning, and that as his name becomes more and more recognizable, so does his face. “Getting recognized in Seattle isn’t a big deal to me, because the city’s hockey crazy, even if people from outside don’t really think so. What’s crazy is getting recognized here and people going ‘oh, you won the Cup a few weeks ago’ when they see me out at Safeway or on the VTA.”_

_“People have chatted me up at the Indian store about how heavy it was.” Potter laughs. “I could hardly lift it, with my shoulder being how it was. Wasn’t supposed to do anything over the head, so I think I looked pretty sad, running over to Lupin to get him to lift it with me.” He refers, of course, to Lord Stanley’s Cup, the championship trophy of the National Hockey League, and the moment he jokes about is not insignificant -- at the age of twenty-three, he became the first NHL player of Indian descent to lift the Cup. “Hopefully there’ll be a next time. I want to get the whole moment, you know? The lift it over the head and yell combo that Crosby and Sakic and everyone else got to do.”_

_[Inset: James Potter holding the Stanley Cup, a baffled expression on his face, pieces of blue and green confetti stuck in his hair.]_

_Just a week later, he made history again, as the first NHL player of Indian descent to win the Hart Trophy, awarded to the league’s most valuable player._

_“Yeah, it was incredible, knowing that I won because people thought I made an impact. It’s easy to get caught up in statistics and numbers and lose sight of how the team is really the fundamental unit of all of this.” Potter admits readily to being nervous about the win, and his ensuing speech, even now. “And sure, maybe I did make an impact, but one guy can’t win alone. As much as you convince yourself you can sometimes, it’s just not possible. You need a lot of good guys to win that Cup, and we had amazing rookies pulling their weight and then some.”_

_Potter brought the Cup to the India Community Center in Milpitas for a private event on his Cup day, where he fondly remembers coming to summer camps as a child and working as a camp counselor as a teenager. Potter, who is fluent in Tamil, didn’t want to talk so much about the Cup and the reality of winning a championship as he did about encouraging participation in sports. And because Potter’s name has gained such high regard, people listened. (Or, because this was a room full of Indians, they pretended to listen really well.)_

_Either way, Potter is happy with where things are, as his sixth season in the National Hockey League looms ahead of him. It is, as Potter says, “less of a monster and more of an opportunity”._

_“This team, this win, it was an incredible thing to be a part of”, said Potter, who says he still treasures his Sharks Malhotra jersey and refuses to admit whether he owns a Canucks one. “I’m lucky to have come into the league at a time where diversity is valued and celebrated and I’m even more lucky to have a family and team that value me keeping close to my roots. I don’t enjoy the notoriety of being the first, but God willing, I won’t be the last.”_

* * *

Lily knocked three times on Remus’ door, before letting herself in as instructed.

“I brought pie!” She called out in greeting, while toeing off her shoes.

“You bake?” Remus asked, from where he was grabbing a drink in the kitchen. “Want anything?”

“Not really. Tage made it.” Lily placed the pie on the kitchen counter and leaned against it as Remus grabbed a glass.“I’m good, thanks. It’s apple. I cheated and had a slice and it’s pretty much perfect.”

“The kid’s been holding out on us. I call foul.” Remus insisted with a smile.

“That’s because he knows the entire team will take advantage, I’m sure. If we keep it between the two of us, we won’t have to share.”

“Devious. I like it.”

Remus went to another cupboard and produced two plates. Lily didn’t even pretend she wasn’t up for another slice as they cut into it and seated themselves at his dining room table. Remus caught her up on what was new in his life, which was relatively brief as he was still trying to heal up from his injury. 

Sirius was over the night before with his merry band of dogs, which was hectic and chaotic, much like the man himself. Kingsley and Frank stopped over earlier in the week for lunch and video games, and, Rems admitted, some ruthless cheating on the meal plan.

“There is something I wanted to talk to you about.” Remus admitted after pushing his plate aside.

“That sounds ominous.” Lily informed him as her last slice of pie all but lodged in her throat.

“It’s about James.” Remus went on, which did nothing to reassure her.

“Okay.” Lily deposited her fork on her plate with a frown. “What’s up?”

“We spoke before he left. You know he visited.” Remus began, continuing after a nod from Lily. “He admitted that things are pretty bad. Worse than he’s owned up to, maybe.”

Lily thought, as she did frequently these days, of his panic in Toronto, the way it gripped him so firmly, without ever really letting go. And then again not so long ago when she was sure she’d have to get James to a hospital as he all but collapsed inside their apartment, breathless and shaking.

“Thank you for telling me.” Lily rubbed her face, trying to sort her thoughts out. “I feel… pretty helpless about all of this.”

“He said you’ve really helped him. He wouldn’t lie about something like that.” Remus offered.

“But he’s still struggling.” Lily pointed out “He worries that he’s putting too much on me. I worry that I’m not doing enough.”

“It’s a balancing act. You guys are still learning.” Remus told her with an ease Lily found interesting. “You don’t have it all figured out yet. But you will.”

“When you say it like that, it almost sounds possible.” Lily joked.

“It is.” Remus replied with so much sincerity that Lily was temporarily put at ease. “Here. More pie. You can’t do anything concrete right now, but food is a good distraction.”

“As good as any.” Lily agreed, looking at Remus with a grateful expression. “Thank you. For telling me.”

“Any time.” He nodded, inching the pie plate toward her until Lily took it with a small smile.

* * *

[16:04] Lily: Hey. I love you

[16:04] Lily: You’re kind and beautiful and I’m lucky to know you

[16:05] Lily: I hope you’re having a good time <3

* * *

At the end of the day, James thought, as he watched Peter Pettigrew jog toward his parents’ front door, indifference painted clumsily across his face, it had been much less of a mistake than he’d thought to see Peter again.

They’d set up the net in the garage, for old time’s sake, and gone at it with all the enthusiasm they’d spilled over with as children, crashing the net with no mind paid to the injuries or scratches or bruises they were courting. It hadn’t mattered, for a short while, that Peter was playing for another team. It hadn’t mattered that Peter had left. It hadn’t mattered that Peter’s name wouldn’t be on the cup with everyone else’s, even though he’d worked so hard for it, just like the rest of them.

And then they’d paused to catch their breath, tired from laughing and horsing around like they were in elementary school and still full of energy after their respective practices, and the truth of it all had sunk down on them both. No matter how many good moments there were, from here on out, it would all be cut through with an undercurrent of bitterness, with the knowledge that Peter had missed out on his dream and that James hadn’t stopped him from leaving. No matter how many moments of ignorance they bought themselves, the world would still bring them round to that realization, to that reminder that things were broken between them and would be for a long time, maybe even forever.

But it wasn’t even that that had shocked James most -- it was that Peter seemed happy. It had taken such a large upheaval of their lives for James to realize that Peter had been feeling unwanted and out of place for such a long time, and now, seeing him happier than he’d been despite losing out on the Cup, despite leaving, struck a terrified chord within James himself. Peter had missed out on their childhood dream, but he was fine. Peter had left everything he’d known for a chance, but he was fine. And James had gotten the dream, had gotten the glory, had helped score the winning goal, and all of that had left him standing in his parents’ driveway, hockey stick clutched in his hands, unsure of where he was headed next.

It felt like someone had tossed a whole carton of nails down his throat and that they were scraping around in his stomach, caught in the hurricane that must be brewing there, judging by how he was feeling. What was he looking for? If even this, the culmination of everything he’d wanted, couldn’t make him happy, what was out there for him? What was worth everything he’d sacrificed for some antiquated cereal bowl he couldn’t even keep?

He sat down on the front steps, sweaty and exhausted, the butt of his stick thumping against the cement of the driveway, and ran a hand through his hair, as he often did when nervous. He scowled when it came away wet, not knowing what he’d expected, and wiped it off on his shorts as best as he could.

“Hey, universe?” He said, scrunching his nose up in disgust. “You can quit punking me now. That’d be really cool.” He noticed a neighbor whose name he couldn’t remember hurriedly stuff her phone into her pocket and scurry back into her house and he groaned, dropping his stick on the driveway with a clatter. “Great. Now I’m the guy who talks to himself too, on top of all of this. Fucking brilliant.”

* * *

#BeatLA @sh4rksforlife ● 17 Jul 2025

Guess who I found!

 

[Attached: A video of James Potter and Peter Pettigrew playing one on one hockey in his driveway, using a child sized net. Both appear to be enjoying themselves. Potter’s house number is visible throughout the video.]

 

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 17 Jul 2025

Replying to @sh4rksforlife

Please take this down. It contains private information about my family and I’m not comfortable with this being made public.

 

Lily Evans @Lmevans ● 17 Jul 2025

I understand your enthusiasm! James is out having a great time. But like he said, the video contains very private information and not everyone is friendly and has good intentions. Please respect that and don’t share it.

 

Lily Evans @Lmevans ● 17 Jul 2025

To the folks taking it down, thank you! I know you were excited for new video of James just hanging out. It’s cool to see players outside of their work, but there are very real safety concerns with this stuff.

 

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 17 Jul 2025

While I appreciate fans’ dedication to finding things to like about me, I don’t like the idea that it could come at the expense of my family’s safety. If you have shared the video, please take it down. It would mean the world to me.

 

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 17 Jul 2025

Replying to @s3attleproud

I don’t know anything about Peter’s future plans. I haven’t asked him about his and he has not asked me about mine. For people who play hockey for a living, we’ve never devoted much time to talking about it off the ice.

 

James Potter @jpotter21 ● 17 Jul 2025

Replying to @seattlehcky

He’s still a close friend of the family so he comes by every so often. I don’t feel that I’m betraying the team and neither should you! :)

 

Dorcas Meadowes @dgmeadowes ● 17 Jul 2025

Go easy on @jpotter21, everyone -- hanging out with an old friend isn’t a crime. Sharing a video with someone’s address in it after they say not to is definitely at least little illegal, but what do I know…

 

Order of the Phoenix @ootphoenix ● 17 Jul 2025

Cap shows off some sick dangles because even a Cup win doesn’t stop the grind!

 

[Attached: A preview of an article on the Seattle Metropolitans’ fansite, bearing a blurry cellphone picture of James and Peter with the net, James’ address carefully cropped out.]


	9. Meanwhile, At the Farmer's Market

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily meets up with Dorcas and Marlene to mend things, James takes Lily to one of his favorite spots, and Jily gear up for Sam and G's wedding

“I’m not going to say anything about it.”

The first words out of Marlene’s mouth were hardly reassuring as Lily took a seat across from her and Dorcas at their usual lunch spot. The lunch rush, or what counted as a rush for the cafe, was in full swing, which meant service would be slower, and hot food colder.

Regardless, Lily settled in with a pointed look at her friend.

“You basically just did, Mar.”

“Good then we can talk about it.” Marlene beamed.

“What she means to say, is that she hopes everything’s settled okay between you and James since the internet photo incident.” Dorcas amended, glancing at Marlene for confirmation.

“Yes, that. Of course.” Marlene waved her away. “I just want to say, I understand those pictures violated your privacy, but the way James Potter was holding you looked spectacular. Like, the most romantic shit I’ve ever seen. I’m done now.”

“Got it all out of your system?” Lily teased.

“I think so, yeah. Dorcas is the one with the big speech.”

“No speech.” Dorcas promised, holding both hands up. “I just want to apologize for last time. I was overreaching with my comments. It’s your relationship, your career. And you’re happier than I’ve ever seen you. That should count for a lot.”

“You did make some good points.” Lily admitted, thinking back to the heated exchange. “What I’m doing with my career isn’t the safe, standard route. Maybe it isn’t even smart. But it’s worth it.”

“He’s worth it.” Marlene chimed in.

“Yeah.” Lily agreed, ducking her head as a smile overcame her. “More than.”

* * *

  **Sam Taylor**

 

Just a friendly reminder

You’re getting married in a week!!

And I’m freaking out on your behalf

But in a Good way

 

My soon to be husband is trying to teach our cat to play tag

I hate my life

Like i’m aware that I chose this but like

He brought HELP lily

He and his fuckin defensemen baby horde are just on my FUCKING floor

There’s like two good ones & the rest are all gun loving white men w no teeth

 

That

Is an image

I’m so sorry

 

“I want my son to be like… smart”

Yeah like I asked Chase how he eats and turns out like

You learn? Like it starts feeling like this is how all people eat

That’s fucked up

Cancel this hell sport

I vote that they should just gently hug each other instead

America’s Next Top Model but hockey cellys

 

You… learn

First of all I’m laughing that you asked him how he eats

But bless you for passing on this knowledge which will haunt my life

 

Have you seen that old ass video of dr*w d*ughty

Explaining how he eats food

I wanted to Die when that came out like

U g h

 

Listen someone else had to hear it

I couldn’t keep it to myself

Tanner says he got fake teeth for the wedding so

Thank fucking god

 

True friendship!!

Getting your teeth together for a Big Event

What a guy

God this sport is nonsense

 

Speaking of nonsense

How is everyone’s favorite boy

The last text i received from him was two days ago and just says “Stop”

I’ve been waiting for him to clarify and I think he just texted the wrong person

 

That is...a likely scenario

He’s doing good

Taking me to the farmers market tomorrow

So it’ll be nice to get out without people mobbing him

 

More than likely tbh

I think if I called to ask he’d just say he was too nervous to apologize

G wants you to tell James that he loves him and also that he misses him

When will he learn to use his own phone

 

Tell G I will pass that along

James will get all smiley and happy, I’m sure

 

Those are our boys

We chose this

There’s still time to jump ship for you but

Unfortunately I’ve committed so

Balls 2 the wall let’s rage

One more week of freedom

 

If these dudes don’t stop making ball and chain jokes

I’m going to fuckin murder them all

Will you bail me out of jail

Can you bail someone out of jail for murder

 

Better yet, I help you murder them

#Bonding

 

I love you

Can I marry you instead

The invitations are already out but fuck it

 

We would have the best time

Then G and James could also get married

And the circle of life would be complete

 

Oh man yeah truly

They’d last a hot 2.5 days though

One of them would hurt the other one’s feelings by accident

And they’d both come crying to us

 

Our big boys

Too soft for this world

Or each other, apparently

 

Oh absolutely like

I love G with all my heart but he doesn’t rlly get feelings

Like he has a ton of them but??

Being mindful is something we are working on

God I can’t believe my husband & my cat require the same amt of parenting

 

A full time job

You really are a hero

I love G and Sonic but

You’re a hero

 

@ NHL Give me an award

Actually if I’m getting an award I don’t want them near it

Still can’t believe they didn’t make James winning the hart into “racism is over now”

*gary bettman voice* one of,,,, you people has a trophy,,, we’re apolitical

 

I’ve seen some Hot Takes online

Ofc

Because that’s where all garbage lives

But you’re completely right

It’s suspicious

I don’t trust it.

It’s like some other racist trash has to come out of nowhere now

To balance out the Evil

 

Kid Rock is now an NHL referee

He Is Now Toronto, Arbiter Of All Goalie Interference Disputes,

 

The sound I just made

 

Worst: I said that out loud and Tanner said “awesome”

G just made the Most sympathetic sad face so

I think he is going to find a reason to kick them out soon

 

Sorry Tanner

Time to die

Oh thank god

Like, G, plz

Make them Go

 

I get that he’s gotta spend time with his teammates

And it’s something we talk abt. That they’re awful people

Granted most hockey players are awful people

Idk how he does it

Idk how any of them do it tbh

We all know Jordy copes with the tragedy of the nhl by being Jordy

Banging his way through all of God’s creation, etc

 

At least Jordy’s figured something out, I guess

Terrible coworkers

Who you have to Bond with outside of work

Sounds like complete hell

 

He is way too excited to see you again lol

There may be a Jordy Speech in your future

 

That should be fun lol

It’ll be interesting to have everyone together

Controlled Wedding Chaos

 

Yeah it will be! The boys haven’t been together since the ASG

So they’re all ready for some bro time

Block out the virulent racism of their daily lives and whatnot

 

It’s been too long

I’m counting on getting ditched

So they can huddle together

Like massive penguins

 

Don’t penguins chuck rocks at each other to propose

Sounds like some shit those boys would do

 

So romantic

Throwing a rock at your face

And hoping for the best

 

God Chase just said some shit about marriage and like

God I’m gonna hug his wife the next time I see her

That poor girl

 

Ew

Some of these guys I just…

Yeah they’re loaded

But WHERE’S THE APPEAL?

 

Don’t worry you got a good one

I don’t know where the appeal is

Time 2 ask the groupchat

Maybe tanner’s wife will have some insight

Seeing as there’s literally Nothing Appealing about him

HE THINKS KID ROCK WOULD BE A QUALIFIED NHL REFEREE

WHY WAS THAT NOT A BIGGER DEAL FOR EITHER OF US

 

Oh look

A hockey boy with bad opinions

GOD, Sam

There are layers to that that we don’t even have to unpack

We both just Know

Also, you got a good one, too

Look at us making good choices

 

Oh man

They can’t ALL have bad opinions </sarcasm>

Ughhhhh

G’s a good guy

To quote him, the rest of our lives is gonna be “fucking awesome”

And fucking awesome is something I can deal with :)

I’m just kinda done w/ the leadup lol

When Will Our Mothers Leave Us Alone

 

Fucking awesome

The ideal :)

Oh man

The moms have descended

 

Yeah he’s finally offloaded the freakout

Which makes things significantly easier

Apparently the best men groupchat is still hilarious though

I don’t think G’s mom is ever gonna leave tbh like

Man. The Dalys are Intense

 

She’s setting up camp

Staking her mom territory

At least she’s not a nightmare

Highly emotional family?

Yes

Nightmarish?

No

 

Staking her mom territory i’m laughing

Honestly she loves me & takes my side constantly

So it’s awesome really

G is Very Pissy about it all

Which isn’t an ideal way to start a marriage but like

It’s Very us

Hahaha i stole his mom

It’s a Chiarelli trade tbh mine adores him

I love how one for ones that make no sense are just his legacy

Watch his gravestone be “RIP Peter Chiarelli: Hall for Larsson one for one”

The true moment of his death

 

That seems like an ideal mother in law situation

Like, damn, congrats

Of course he’s pissy but he gets your mom! It’s good

 

I know right

My brother was telling me horror stories

Bc his MIL is a monster and a half

And goodness has happened to terrible people as always

Checkmate

 

Sometimes I go on Reddit

And read threads about horrible MIL/FIL

And just sit there like, marriage?

Cancelled

But you and G are starting on good footing

I’m glad

 

First of all,,,, Reddit???

Hey I mean if you and James ever get there

His dad is the fuckin best

I’m pretty sure he’s adopted all of us in his heart anyway

 

I’m a Reddit gremlin

This is my shame

His dad sounds pretty great

I’ll spare you the mush about where James gets it from, how he’s the best

And so on

You deserve to be shamed smh

It’s not mush if it’s the truth

He didn’t get it from his mom lol

 

I remember

Mom Potter is the one to keep an eye on

Dad Potter is the ray of sunshine

 

Keep an eye on her sounds ominous

But honestly everything she says will sound just as ominous so

He is ABSOLUTELY a ray of sunshine

Him and G in the same room is actually a nightmare

Like you think it’s gonna be wholesome but it’s actually like

Emotional whiplash on steroids

James likes it for some reason

We invited them too so Heads Up

Don’t steal our thunder or anything but Prepare Yourself

Do not know if that boyfriend u get so mushy about thought that was important info

 

He did not!

That’s cool!

Parents

On one hand, I am an adult and can do this

On the other, I feel like I’m going to die

 

He did not!

That’s lovely

He probably assumed you knew tbh

What a boy

You can absolutely do this! If I did it you can!

My first interaction with the Potter parents

Was when Mom Potter picked up a drunk dial

That was meant for James

And I had to pretend to be sober for like fifteen minutes

While she interrogated me about my entire life story

If I survived that you can survive being his gf no problem

 

Sam, you’re a hero

Truly

It’ll be good to meet them

I’m kind of excited?

Nervous excited

But mostly just happy for this wedding!

 

I am an american hero honestly

God are we gonna have to celebrate canada day

I keep telling him it’s not a thing but he’s convinced

It’ll be good! Worst case scenario you have Jordy to protect you

And they somehow think Jordy is a wholesome boy who the media lies about

So really, the true hero of the hour is gonna be Jord

 

The hardest part about marriage?

Fucking Canada Day

I’m laughing

Slow clap for Jordy

That’s quite the accomplishment

 

Listen Jordy is the ultimate con artist

And we all love him to death for it like

What kind of incredible shit

LISTEN it’s not a real holiday and i WILL NOT celebrate it

I’m not wasting a vacation day on that

 

Stand your ground!

Wear some obnoxious American Bro shit

To assert your dominance

 

I mean my almost husband owns a legit canadian flag tank top

I can’t beat that shit

I don’t want to

Why does he have to play for my home team

I could’ve used Blues gear for SO MUCH MORE passive aggressive shit

Damn it G making my life convenient

 

A Canadian flag tank top

I shouldn’t be surprised

And yet, I am

How dare he tbh

Making things convenient

Terrible

 

I mean the worst fact is that he still has all his canucks jerseys

He says they’re for our future kids but I will fuckin end him

Does he not know orcas are literally evil

Your boyfriend sent me some nature documentary shit to watch

And i believed him like a dumbass

And orcas are EVIL

 

Speaking of our mutual fave James Potter

He’s home now, so I’m going to go

But team fuck orcas, honestly

Love you, Sam!!

See you soon :)

 

See you soon! :)

* * *

“Babe. Babe. Get up. It’s nine.” James poked Lily’s cheek, tapping his foot impatiently. He’d been trying to remind himself that Lily needed her sleep for the last hour, but had eventually grown far too nervous about the time to care. He’d tried to distract himself by cleaning up around the house and making sure he was ready to go, but he had forgotten, up until this moment, that she’d need time to get ready as well, and now that he’d gotten himself all ready to leave, he’d have to sit there and wait. “Babe, come on. We’ve gotta be on time.”

“Gotta be on time.” Lily echoed groggily, wiping at her eyes as she sat up and tried to shake off her sleepiness. “Give me ten minutes. I swear I can do it in ten and then we hit the road.”

“Okay. Ten.” James kissed her forehead. “I’m gonna set a timer.”

Lily made it out into the living room, sunglasses on, shoving her hair into a ponytail with exactly one minute to spare. “I’m so proud of myself.” She yawned hugely and physically shook her body, willing away the tiredness that clung to her.

“Oh! You made it.” James beamed. “You should be! You said ten minutes and you only took nine.”

“Thank you, babe.” Lily beamed, grabbing her wallet and tucking it into the pocket of her shorts. “Ready?”

“Yep. I’ve been ready since eight.” James grabbed the reusable bag he’d picked out of the pile in the hallway closet and checked the pockets of his jeans to make sure he’d put his wallet and keys where they belonged. “Cool. Let’s rage.”

“I think I’ve found the only man in the world who gets this excited over a farmers market.” Lily noted once they settled in the car.

“Shopping local is important.” James frowned. He knew it was a mental jungle gym to reconcile his interests with his profession, but he couldn’t help but feel hurt whenever someone poked fun at him. “It’s a little inconvenient sometimes, sure, but it supports local businesses and directly puts money back into the community. Or at least that’s how my dad says it.”

“It’s a good thing.” Lily remarked, fingers brushing at his frown. “You could be into, shit, I don’t know, competitive stamp collecting. Or something equally weird.”

“Competitive stamp collecting?” James asked. “That’s a real thing?”

“It has to be. Or that thing where people stack cups? Liking farmers markets is the good option here.” She told him, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“I never really understood the fuss about the cup stacking.” James admitted. “It’s just… so fast. And it’s cups.” He shrugged. “It just seems weird, you know? But people say that about hockey too, and they’re right, so who am I to judge?”

“You’re right. Now let’s go do this. I want the full experience, so that means getting there before all the good stuff is gone.”

“Sounds great. Let’s do this.” He smiled. “Oh. We should probably discuss our rules. For being in public together.” James said, fingers pausing on the handle of the car door. “They already caught us kissing, sure, but what’s allowed? Is holding hands and stuff good or…”

“Okay good idea.” Lily nodded. “I’d like to hold hands, if you’re good with it. Obviously we won’t make out or get too rowdy. But holding hands is reasonable.”

“We’ve already done rowdy. It wasn’t a good idea.” James grimaced. “I don’t think we’ll be trying it again.”

“No.” Lily laughed. “That was… an experience.”

“So we’re good to go, then?” James asked. “Holding hands sounds great by me, but we’ll have to get out of the car first, or we’ll just be sitting here.” He grinned, getting out of his seat before ducking his head back in the open door. “No use coming all the way here if we’re gonna do that. Could’ve stayed home, let you sleep in some more.”

“Good to go!” Lily opened her car door. “Nothing better than holding hands and picking veggies on a Saturday morning.”

James shut his door, jogging over to her side with his bag so he could take her hand the second she was free.

“Come on, come on.” He said, sounding rather like a child in a candy shop. “All the good stuff’s going to be gone if we wait.”

“Show me your favorites, babe.”

James dragged her along to the fourth stall from the end, where an old lady and two school age children, likely her grandchildren, were selling bread.

“These little kiddos are the ones you have to thank for all that wrapping paper.” James said. “High fives all around, kids. It worked great.”

“We had a very important present to wrap and your paper was perfect.” Lily added.

“So, Doris, got anything special for me?”

“Nothing this week, but I’ll keep you posted.” Doris smiled. “It’s good to see you out and about. I’d imagine you needed a break for a little while.”

“Oh yeah. Nothing like a few weeks off to reset.” James nodded. “I had a good time. This one really helped that.” He put his arm around Lily’s shoulders, kissing the top of her head.

The kids yelped, covering their eyes, and James laughed.

“Come on, I didn’t do anything!” He protested, before digging in his pocket for his wallet. “Okay, later today, there’s a friend I’m sending your way that’s really into baking and such, and I don’t know when he’ll turn up, but I’ve told him to stop by here. His name's Tage. About two inches taller than me. Built. He’s got a real smiley face. If he asks too many questions, just tell him. He’s good about that.” James counted out a few bills and placed them by the register before picking up the loaf of bread he’d had his eye on since they entered. “Thanks. It’s good to see everyone doing so well.”

“I'll take good care of him. You two have fun.” Doris waved as James tugged on Lily’s hand, pointing to one of the larger stalls, full of fresh vegetables.

“We will!” James smiled brightly.

“Oh, she’s so sweet.” Lily murmured as they walked away. “You have good taste in friends here.”

“Getting contacts on the inside is key!” James nodded. “Otherwise you won’t get what you need.” He had to duck to get under the awning without smacking his head on the crossbar. “So, what are we doing for dinner this week? We’ve got radishes, potatoes and carrots in the freezer already, so we don’t need to get those. I’d say three types should be good, right? We’ve gotta grab bell peppers, for sure, so that leaves two free for you to choose.”

“Hmm. I think asparagus. Roasted cauliflower sounds good, too. So let’s see if they have that.”

“Cool. We’ll look around then.” He squeezed her hand. “Thanks. I like that you came along.”

“I’m glad I did. It’s gorgeous out, and you love being here.” Lily smiled. “Win-win.”

“It’s a nice place. Everyone’s too busy getting what they need to really look at anyone.” James set to work sorting through the bucket of asparagus to find the best ones, placing them carefully into a plastic bag from the pile on the table. “You get a kind of invisibility out of it. It’s nice.”

“You can shop in relative peace.” Lily nodded as she went around the other side of the table, looking at the cauliflower with a critical eye. “It’s a good break, I imagine.”

“Yeah. A really good one.” James held the bag up at eye level, satisfied with what he had, and smiled. “Especially this summer, you know? Having that time to relax with something like this, and at home too… I feel like it’s good for me.”

“You had a long season.” Lily said quietly. “You deserve this.” She handed off two heads of cauliflower that were deemed good enough for this week’s dinner. “I’m glad, James. Sounds like exactly what you need.”

“Yeah. It is.” He looked around the stall before reaching out for Lily’s bag of cauliflower. “Come on, I’ll get these paid for. You wanna head home or walk around for a little longer?”

“I’d like to walk around, if you’re good with that.” Lily replied, happy to be around the people and the chance to enjoy the day. She held her hand out for James once more and he took it with a smile as they continued wandering around with all the time in the world.

* * *

“So, who’s up this year?” Sirius was bent over his tablet, poking at the keyboard taking up the bottom half of the screen like a chicken seeking grain. “We’ve got Kingsley, other than me, on the left. Me, Benjy and Felix down the middle. Then you, Little Pete, Bastien, and Tonks down the right side. Basically, we have almost no fourth line. Thoughts, Cap?”

“Moody likes Eilenberg. First name Val. Playing 1C down in Portland.” James pulled up Eilenberg’s stats on his cellphone and slid it across the table to Sirius. “We're losing some depth to free agency, I think, maybe six guys, but we got a couple guys back, I think? There's gonna be a couple new free faces this year, I guess? Moody’s going to want to promote from within to fill out the fourth. I doubt he wants to take too many of Portland’s players to make an impact.”

“We’ve got a few aging out of the CHL too -- maybe they take the Portland spots and we get some former Mounties?” Sirius suggested. “I mean, we haven’t got lists for who’s being invited to camp, but there’s gotta be a few college kids and CHL kids too.”

“Eric Miller. Canadian. Played last in the NCAA with Holy Cross. Picked up the same year as Felix and Tage.” James tapped his fingers against the table. “He’s a winger. Occasional center, I think, but we need more at the wings than we need up the middle, at least for the next few years. Probably going to end up in Portland this season, since he’s just turned twenty. Frees up Danny Vasiliev to come up to us.”

“Time to make sweet, sweet love to the ‘In The System’ tab of eliteprospects.” Sirius grinned. “All right, there he is. Damn, he’s putting up _points_!”

“And if we bring that dman from Missisauga up for training camp, we either get him or… I guess Silveira? Can’t cannibalize Portland too much.”

“Kaminsky. First name John. Goes by Jasiu.” James snapped his fingers, smiling when Sirius looked up at him in shock. “What? I like knowing this stuff.”

“You’ve probably got one of those conspiracy theory boards with the red strings.” Sirius laughed. “Do you update it daily or weekly?”

“Weekly.” James teased. “But if there’s a big transaction, I’ll get very excited and do it the day of.”

“Like when we bummed Baumgartner off the Islanders for a few depth forwards.” Sirius said. “That was a hell of a trade. He’ll sign with us for sure this summer, given the Cup win. We’ve made ourselves an attractive target, and sure, if he signs this year he loses his senior year in the NCAA, but why not, you know? Play for the contender.”

“Hot team, hot players, hot destination.” James leaned back onto the back legs of his chair. “We’ve made a hell of a bed for ourselves. I like it.”

“Milos Novacek could come up from the Mountaineers too.” Sirius pointed out, still scrolling through the list. “We need somebody to take Dearborn’s old spot.”

“Ah, shit, I forgot about that.” James shook his head. He needed to call Caradoc, who’d announced he was retiring just days ago. “Yeah, yeah, Milos has been knocking on the door for ages now, and if he comes up, that makes room for Brandt to take a bigger role with the Mountaineers too.”

“And then we’ve got our lovely sophomores, Bastien, Felix and Little Pete.” Sirius beamed. “One year with the club and they’re already champions. Can’t let that go to their heads.”

“No sir.” James laughed. “Gotta cut them down to size. If we take Felix, he brings Little Pete down with him. We leave Bastien alone, though. Kid’s fought through enough to get here. I say we let him bask in the win a bit, build some confidence. He was a lucky find and I don’t wanna scare him off. Nystrom and Pedersen can take a few more hits than they have.”

“I’m being given full license to bother them?” Sirius’ eyes lit up like a child’s. “Just want to be clear.”

“Bother away.” James smiled. “Be gentle with Little Pete. He’s a bit delicate. Nystrom can take any shit you give him and more, so do whatever the hell you want. Proceed with my blessing.”

“I love this team.” Sirius said, awestruck. “This is the perfect fit for me.”

“I’m glad you think so.” James said. “Because I think so too.”

* * *

“So you’ve got me for the rest of the summer. No takebacks.”

“No takebacks. Perfect.” Lily murmured, feeling warm and sleepy as she scooted closer to James, so she could throw an arm across his middle. “There’s plenty for us to do while we have the time.”

“Yeah, for sure. More trips to the market. G and Sam’s wedding in a few days. Then hockey camp. And then Jordy and G and Sam will be here for a preseason chill out slash work out session.” James smiled fondly. “It’s a full schedule. And there’s all the time in the world for you and me around it.”

“Emmeline, too.” Lily reminded him. “You get to meet her live and in person and everything.”

“Oh.” James said, smile faltering for a second. “Live and in person. Cool.”

“It’ll be good, babe, I promise.” Lily patted his chest for emphasis. “She’s excited to hang out with both of us.”

“You sure about that both of us?” James ventured. “I dunno, she doesn’t seem overly fond of me.”

“She had her concerns with the picture leak.” Lily admitted. “But we’ve talked a lot, and she’s heard nothing but good things. She never says anything negative, either. And if it helps at all, she won’t come after you because I love you. And then she’ll get to know you, and like you on her own.”

“You’ve known her forever, so I trust you.” James nodded. “It’s just-- It’s a lot, you know? I’m used to people being kinda doubtful about me, but… Emmeline’s different, you know? She’s important to you, and I just… I don’t want to do anything wrong there.”

“I know. I hear you.” Lily told him. “I know you’ll probably worry until we get the meeting over with, but you couldn’t possibly do anything wrong. You’re sweet and kind, and Em will appreciate that. Plus, she’s not as tough as she likes to think she is.”

“How tough is she? Just… for science.” James asked.

“Her bark is worse than her bite. She talked a tough game on the phone with you, but her main concern was whether we were okay. And.” Lily went on. “She cries at mushy pet commercials on TV. You can’t let her know I told you, or she’ll kill me, but, seriously, babe, she’s a lot softer than her first impression gave off.”

“Who doesn’t?” James frowned. “People who say they don’t cry at pet commercials are lying.”

“Okay, cool. So you already have something in common.” Lily scooted up a little to kiss his cheek. “You’ve dealt with plenty of people who like to act tougher than they are. That’s Em. Protective, but actually soft as hell.”

“Acting tougher than you are is what hockey’s all about. That and scoring goals.” James smiled. “It’s pretty simple that way, except for the fact that it really isn’t.”

“See? There you go.” Lily pointed out. “That, and I wouldn’t invite her here if I thought for a second she’d be unkind to you.”

“You already know most of my friends, so we got lucky on my end.” James said. “Remus, G, Jordy, Sam… I mean, you’ve known Sam for longer than I have, so I guess she mostly counts as your friend, but we got lucky that way.” He sighed. “Pete… Yeah. That was weird, back home. He didn’t wanna talk about it and I didn’t either. So we didn’t, but that made it weirder.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything either of you could’ve done to make it not weird, all things considered. I’m sorry it’s like that for you, though.”

“Yeah. I don’t think there is anything I could’ve done. But it’s okay. He has his own life now.” James clung tighter to her. “And I have mine. And truth be told, I’m happier with you than I was with him, by the end. You’re a much better roommate.” He shot her a sly smile. “You clean up after yourself.”

“High praise, indeed. I’m glad to hear it.” Lily laughed, dropping a kiss on his shoulder. “But you know, it’s okay if it isn’t okay, yet. If you’re still missing him. Things like that take time.”

“Yeah. I’m trying to make that point to myself, but it’s a little harder than it looks.” James said. “I do, I think, and it’ll get a bit messy around when he comes back, I think, for that first game. That won’t be until November, though, so we’ve got planning time.”

“It’s going to be hard. But you always have at least twelve backup plans on hand, so we’ll be good.” Lily said reassuringly.

“I haven’t got twelve for this yet.” James confided. “Still working on it. I figured I had all mine set, but then seeing him again… He was happy, Lily. Like he wanted to be there. He was talking about the team and the whole vibe of it and how much he was loving LA and it was just, kind of… I don’t think I’d seen Pete that happy in a while. And it sucked a bit, because I’d always just assumed being with me was gonna make him happy.”

“Oh, no.” Lily winced sympathetically. “That’s not easy to hear, or realize, not with your history. I’m sorry, babe.”

“Figures that he’d find his happiness in a place that includes Severus Snape, though.” James rolled his eyes. “Proof that he doesn’t deserve us, I guess. Or at least that’s what Remus says.”

“Remus is right.” Lily said emphatically. “Finding happiness anywhere near him is suspect as hell.”

“I think he’s mad at me. For talking to Pete at all. I don’t know though. It’s Remus.” James shrugged. “He’s a man of mystery at the best of times. At the worst of times he’ll actually tell you he’s disappointed and then you have no options left but to just drop dead.”

“Hmm. Seems like if he’s mad it might be wrapped up in him wanting to protect you?” Lily guessed. “I’m not a mind reader, but I think he hates what seeing Pete does to you. Maybe I’m projecting, though.” She finished with a small, sad smile.

“If it’s getting projected, maybe we should talk about it.” James ran a hand through her hair. “Come on, bud. Lay it on me.”

“It’s not too deep, James. I just hate seeing what Pete does to you, how he makes you feel after what he did. Probably more than anything, that it doesn’t seem to register with him, you know?”

“If it makes you upset, it’s exactly as deep as it needs to be.” James said seriously. “Yeah. He’s always been… he hasn’t let that stuff get to him so he doesn’t think others do either.”

“I’m upset on your behalf, and now you’re upset on mine.” Lily said lightly. “Love, huh? But yeah I guess that’s what gets me. The lack of insight. Or care.”

“That’s what love’s about. Teamwork and being upset for each other.” James kissed her forehead. “Yeah, I guess. It’s just… It’s weird, you know? I won the Cup and he left the winning team and flamed out in the first round, and he just… he’s happier than me. I don’t get it. I should be… I should be happier than this, you know? But I just don’t feel it.”

Lily sat up on one elbow, staring intently down at James as her mind turned his words over and over again for good measure. “What do we do? To make you happy, I mean.”

“You got any good ideas? I’m fresh out.” James said. “Going home was good, but I feel like it zeroed out, you know? Between Pete and my parents. Opposing forces.”

“We’ll focus on that this summer. The summer of making you happy and get you feeling good after all that happened last season. I’ll do whatever I can, James.” She gripped his hand, giving it a squeeze before letting go. “Whatever you need, it’s yours.”

“It’s not your job, babe.” James said. “Whatever’s going on with me, I know it’s fucking with us, but I don’t want it to weigh on you like that.”

“Teamwork, remember?” Lily reminded him. “If it affects you, I’ll be right there with you.”

“We’ll figure it out together, then.” James took her hand again, happier holding it than not. “And either way, we’ve got friends to embarrass sooner than later, right? It’s a hell of a distraction from whatever’s going on up here.”

“The wedding will be great for that.” Lily smiled. “We’ll see our friends, it’ll be a good time.” She said, sounding upbeat, with her concerns tucked away for the moment.

“It’ll be a good time.” James said. “All that time with you and our friends? Can’t think of a single way that could go wrong.”

“I like that you’re excited, but don’t jinx it, babe.” Lily teasingly cautioned. “Weddings are a breeding ground for disaster. But knowing everyone involved? It’ll be just fine. We’re all too used to disasters for it to make a dent.”

“A breeding ground for disaster?” James frowned. “Uh oh. With G and Sam involved, who knows what could happen?”

“We’ll just have to wait and see, huh?” Lily settled back against him, closing her eyes and holding on to this peaceful, quiet moment between them with both hands.


	10. Wedding Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James travel to G and Sam's wedding! Lily meets the Potter parents. There's lots of tears, laughter, and an epic speech from groomsmen, James and Jordy.

“You nervous?” James asked, triple checking his seatbelt. “I mean, we’ve got everything we were responsible for bringing, so that’ll be fine, but that’s all I’ve got.” The stranger sharing their row continued staring blankly out the window, and James was thankful for it -- he didn’t know how he’d react, if they recognized him, or worse, tried to start a conversation. “Feelings and stuff are beyond me, at the moment. It’ll work itself out once we touch down in St. Louis, I think.”

“I’m excited. Just want to get there and get everything in order so we can see our friends, you know?” Lily took his hand as she spoke, mostly without thinking about it. “A few of my friends, mostly yours, though. It’ll be good to meet them. It’ll be a good time.” She said reassuringly.

“Yeah. It’s gonna be good and we’ll see everybody.” James squeezed her hand. “And now that the Portland stuff’s had its run, we get to have a good time there without worrying about anything.” He smiled. “It’s a relief in a way, isn’t it?”

“As far as timing for scandals go, we did pretty well.” Lily agreed, smiling at the absurdity. “Now we can enjoy more time away together. And I’m really loving that already.”

“I mean, we’re experts. They should give us an award.” James chuckled, kissing the top of her head. “Best scandal prep and execution.”

“On our first try, too. Not that they’ll be more.” She added, before he could. “One was enough. Been there, done that, kind of thing. Since we have this whole plane ride, why don’t you tell me about some of the guys I’ll meet?”

“One was enough. I agree.” James squeezed her hand. “Okay, so you’ve met Jordy and Frank, from juniors. I dunno if anybody else from back then is coming. Bubbles was a maybe, but he’s real busy with work these days. Uh, from the Blues, there’s Jack Keane, G’s d partner. Pretty loud. Kinda disgusting. Trying his best. Then there’s Tanner Smith. He loves guns. Especially his guns. Owns a lot of weird pets. I don’t know any of the Blues too well, yet, so I suppose that’s what the wedding itself is about.”

“I’ve seen some of the promo stuff with Jack and Tanner.” Lily admitted. “Disgusting and guns sums it up nicely. What a pair. Hopefully we’ll meet some pretty cool other Blues guys, at least.”

“Yeah. It kinda is, really. Hopefully.” James crossed the fingers of his free hand, pulling a face. “But again, it’s hockey, I mean, there’s more of them than there are of us. Way more. Like 98 to 2 more.”

“It is hockey.” Lily grimaced. “And hopefully if they’re as… colorful as Tanner and Jack, we won’t have to deal with them too much. But, bright side? We’re together, getting to see two of our closest friends getting married.”

“Colorful’s a way to put it.” James laughed. “Nah, we’ll spend most of our time around G and Sam, no worries. We’ve had enough of bad opinions this summer. Only positivity ahead.” He leaned over to plant a kiss on her cheek. “Yep. Our closest friends, a big wedding. It’s a good start.”

* * *

 

When James and Lily arrived at G and Sam’s place, having battled the crowds and traffic surrounding the airport, it was only natural for Lily to take a step back, slinging an arm around Sam’s shoulder in greeting, to watch G and James practically tackle each other on the spot.

“There they go.” Lily said fondly.

“They’re at it again.” Sam laughed. “You’d think they’d tire of each other eventually, but that’s about as likely as pigs flying. Or a Snape redemption arc.”

James and G, as they were every time they met, had attached themselves at the hip the second they’d locked eyes with each other, G unable to go more than a few seconds without touching James in some way and James, who was currently being crushed into G’s chest, smiling a little too widely at everything G said. There was a sliver of space left between them, ostensibly left for Jordy, who would be arriving later in the evening, if the riot of gibberish passing for speech between James and G was any indication, and Lily had no idea how Jordy would fit, but had full faith that the boys would figure out something.

“You made it through the plane ride okay?” G asked, unwilling to let go of James but unable to truly judge his emotional state without seeing his face. It ended in an awkward tussle, both of them attempting to get a clear view of the other while keeping each other as close as possible. If they were smarter men, they might have realized holding each other at arm’s length was a solution, but they played hockey for a reason.

“Yeah, yeah, we did fine.” James said. “There was this little baby on the plane and it was screaming like all hell, right? Poor thing couldn’t figure out the elevation. That sucked big time. For the baby, not for us.”

“We made it through in one piece.” Lily agreed. “Eventually the little guy just passed right out. Probably wore himself out.”

“Babies are the worst.” Sam shuddered. “Thank god no one wants those.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Lily disagreed, and then firmly ignored Sam’s look. “They’re cute. Tiny.”

“They’re soft.” James added. “Friendly, mostly. That’s always nice.”

“They scream, bros.” Sam rolled her eyes. “That’s more than enough for me to say no.”

“And they poop.” Lily added. “I know I’m not exactly building my case here. But who needs baby talk when we can focus on wedding stuff, right?”

“Wedding stuff!” G crowed, letting go of James to target Lily next. “What’s up, Evans? How’ve you been? How’s the family?”

Lily let out a small _oomph_ sound as G bear hugged her. “Things are good. See, this couple I’ve known practically forever is finally getting married, so I get to wear a pretty dress, cry off my makeup, and have the best date in the room.” She said once he released her.

“Now, now, best date in the room is a bit tough, since I’ve got that locked up.” G grinned. “But hey, second place isn’t so bad!”

“Sounds fair, right, babe?” Lily said, giving G’s shoulder a squeeze as she beamed at James.

“I think we should let G take that one.” James shrugged. “Wedding gift.”

“That’s my boy!” G yelled, the picture of exuberance. “I love him so much. Thank you guys for coming.”

“No problem, bud. We wouldn’t miss it for the world.” James smiled.

“Speaking of our boy, we’d better get inside quick. If he eats G’s soap again he’s going to be puking bubbles all over the floor.” Sam said. “Don’t worry, boys, hugging is still allowed inside. Don’t have to have an audience.”

“We know that.” G scowled, though his expression brightened the second he shared a conspiratorial glance with James. “We’re adults. Grown men. The biggest of boys.”

“Not the biggest.” James pointed out. “Or maybe you are. Are you taller than Remus?”

“Fuck yeah I am.” G said. “Remus can suck it. I win that one fair and square.”

“The biggest of boys.” Lily snorted, following G and Sam inside. “God, I’ve missed you guys in person. The Skype experience is just not the same as up close.”

As soon as the door shut behind them, the foursome was greeted by the legendary Sonic, who thankfully did not seem to have any traces of soap around his mouth just yet.

“Listen, the Internet makes life easier but it can’t account for true star power. Isn’t that right, Sonic?” G knelt down, waving his hands around until Sonic, interested, charged at him. “That’s a good boy. Sonic has never used the Internet ever in his life and look how good he turned out.” G held Sonic out toward Lily like a baby. “Look. He loves you.”

“He loves everyone.” Sam pointed out. “He’d die for attention just like his dad.”

“It’s a fair assessment.” James said, when G shot a horrified look at him. “You would.”

“I wouldn’t  _ die _ . That’s a little far.” G complained. “Lily, defend my honor, come on.”

“You wouldn’t die, like, right away.” At G’s betrayed look, Lily continued. “You’d last an hour, probably? Tops. It’s endearing. Embrace it.”

“I wouldn’t die!” G protested. “I hate  _ all _ of you. Only Sonic loves me.” At that exact moment, Sonic, having had enough of being cradled against G’s chest like a baby, yowled in protest, claws catching on the fabric of G’s shirt as he tried to free himself. “Wow. This is really disappointing. I think I’m gonna need a minute.”

“Take all the time you need.” Lily said, fighting off a smile.

“Sorry, Sam, I think the marriage is off.” James teased, nudging Sam. “Do you get to keep the food if you cancel?”

“Of course that’s all you’d care about.” Sam sighed. “Men, am I right?”

 

“I was thinking of the presents, personally.” Lily admitted. “Like do you and G fight over hand towels? Some hand to hand combat?”

“Hand to hand combat only exists when it’s a shared resource.” Sam chuckled. “He just wipes his hands on his pants and keeps on going. Disgusting, but he feels good about himself, so I’m not about to wreck that.”

“That’s a first.” G said mournfully. “Is she going easy on me because she’s got something better to catch me out on?”

“Seems like it, bro.” James winced. “Yikes.”

“Rest in pieces, G.” Lily added, distracted somewhat by Sonic threading himself around her ankles. 

“Rest in pieces.” G repeated, frowning. “What does that even mean? Is that wishing a violent death on somebody or, like, a promise that you’re going to be in pieces when you die? That’s really scary. I don’t like that.”

“It means Sam absolutely has something better to catch you out on. As is her way.” Lily explained.

“I don’t, actually. I just like the drama of it.” Sam smiled at G, who instantly looked more at ease. “He’s been behaving himself. Maybe it’s the threat of imminent public embarrassment. Who knows? Either way, I’m using it as much as I can.”

“I can’t have you mad at me when we get married.” G shrugged. “Figured I’d just start early, you know?”   


“That’s precious.” James laughed. “And so G, too.”

“I’d hope it’s ‘so me’.” G said. “‘Cause I’m me, and if I’m not me, that shit gets complicated.”

“Set that thought aside.” Lily gently advised. “It’s too big. Too much.”

“You’re right.” G beamed. “Thinking is for losers.”

“Hockey requires thinking.” James spoke up, though he seemed confused. 

“Yeah, but that’s different thinking.” G said, without missing a beat. “That’s easy. This is weird.”

“Weird.” Lily echoed, as if they were speaking another language. “Right.” 

“I mean, the wedding’s largely secondary.” James said, as he knelt down to pet Sonic. “We’re really here for this guy.” He looked up at G, not the least bit repentant. “Sorry?”

“No harm done, man. I’m mostly here for him too.” G said. “He’s a good little guy. My favorite.”

“You guys can take the cat and leave, then.” Sam joked. “Lily and I are doing just fine here without you. Isn’t that right, Lily?”

“We’re perfect. You’re both amusing but ultimately unnecessary.” Lily teased.

“Who needs men?” Sam said. “All we need is money and cats.”

* * *

 

“I promise they’re not terrible.” James tugged at the collar of his shirt, his nervous glance toward the door of the restaurant not exactly inspiring confidence in Lily. “They’ve heard a lot about you and they’re happy we’re together and stuff. No problems.”

“No problems.” Lily repeated, watching him closely, as she smoothed the front of her dress and then forced her hands to remain at her side, so she wouldn’t be caught fidgeting. `

“I know it’s stupid of me to say you don’t need to be stressed out, ‘cause trust me, when my turn comes, I’m going to be stressed out, but it’ll be okay.” James took her hand. “Parents are usually hard and weird and stressful as a rule but I swear mine are the exception.”

“I trust you.” Lily squeezed his hand, letting out a deep breath. “It’s stressful for everyone, I know. Just trying to get it out of my system.”

“There they are.” James waved to two people standing by the door, whispering at each other as they attempted to navigate a brick of a cell phone held between them. “They’ll look up eventually, I suppose.” The shorter of the two, a woman in her late fifties who did look exactly like her son, just as Sam had said, noticed them first, grabbing her husband by the arm like a child that needed redirection and herding him toward them. Lily had seen that particular look on James’ face before, the few times he’d been frustrated with the rookies. 

They reached the table eventually, both walking at a brisk pace, and James’ mother looked first to Lily before her son, as if sizing her up for a fight. His father, however, hardly noticed her, making a beeline for his son. He was taller than James, but much broader despite James’ efforts to put on muscle and keep it there, and had a kind smile that Lily instantly recognized as familiar. He held James at arm’s length for a second, pride shining in his eyes, before letting go of him to turn back to her.

“Don’t just stand there.” He said to his wife, something about his words light and teasing. “Say hello.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Mrs. Potter said, holding her hand out stiffly as if this were a business meeting. 

“Hi, there.” Lily greeted brightly before accepting the offered hand. “It’s nice to meet you both. I’m glad we got to before the wedding.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you too.” James’ father smiled. “We’ve heard so much. All good things, don’t worry, I don’t think my son has it in him to say anything else.” He threw an arm around his son’s shoulders, more friendly than familial. “Ah, yes, it’s wonderful to meet you before the wedding. So much noise and action. We thought it might be nice to see you both beforehand. Isn’t that right?” He looked to his wife, who obviously did not share his enthusiasm.

“It’s better to do it now, yes.” She said, words clipped and awkward. “Weddings are busy. No time to really talk. And I hear the both of you are quite involved.”

“Yeah. Lily and Sam go way back.” James said. “They’ve been friends longer than G and me.”

“G and I.” His mother corrected. “I may have raised a hockey player, but I will not have you talking like you were raised in a barn.”

“Sorry about all this.” James’ father said. “I assume you’ve found that out about my son, but neither of them are very good at first impressions.” He smiled fondly at his wife. “So, go on, tell us about yourself. We’ve heard things from him, but hearing it from you is one thing and hearing it from him is another.”

“Not too much to tell.” Lily said with a friendly smile. “I worked as a reporter. It was my first job out of school, and I really loved being able to cover a sport I’ve been crazy about since I was a kid.”

“You’ve liked hockey that long?” James’ father asked, curious. “What do you like about it? He keeps trying to make me watch, but the skating and the hitting and all of that…” He shook his head. “Too much for an old man to follow.”

“How are you supposed to see the ball anyway?” James’ mother added.

“It’s not a ball.” James said. “That’s kind of key?”

“I like getting to know the players on the teams. That’s what first drew me into it as a kid.” Lily admitted. “Their personalities, team chemistry. It makes it more exciting than just chasing a puck. I know it might not seem like much fun, but once you know more about the players, it is. To me, at least.”

“And we hear there is a good mix of personalities this year.” James’ father said, nudging his son. “The little ones, what are their names? The blond ones. I talked to both of their fathers on the trips. They seem very nice. Not the big one, but the smaller one seems like a good boy. Be friends with that one.”

“I don’t know which one is the big one and which one is the small one.” James frowned. “They’re both the same size?”

“If I had to guess, I’d say he liked Tage. If we’re going off personality.” Lily said lightly. “There are some really good guys.” She agreed, smiling up at James. “Keeps things interesting for the fans.”

“I’m sure they do. We watch the videos they put out, when James tells us to.” James’ mother said. “They talk so much about it being a serious job and yet they do all these silly things.” She looked slightly amused when she glanced over at James. “Although it is fun, seeing you enjoy yourself with your teammates.”

“They do, don’t they?” Lily agreed with James’ mom. “They’re supposed to be big and tough, and then make them sing silly songs, or play games. It does seem odd, but the fans can’t get enough of seeing their personalities outside the game.”

“They are big and tough still, but it reminds everyone that they’re just kids.” James’ mother said. “They don’t get as much of a chance to grow old in their jobs like the rest of us, so I suppose it’s a way to hold onto that.”

“We’re here to meet Lily, not talk about our son.” James’ father cut in. “We can talk about him forever, we know that, but this is about Lily for now. So, reporting. What was that like? Did your family get you into sports or did you find it yourself?”

“My family did.” Lily told him, remembering with a smile. “I used to hate hockey night in our house, but once I sat down, my dad would explain things to me, and soon I was cheering along. Reporting was a great extension of that. Getting to see games and keep on top of what’s happening, it was something I really enjoyed.”

“Hockey night in our house was every night.” James’ father said mournfully. “No breaks. Always practice this, game that, and if he wasn’t playing, some other team was and we had to watch that.”

“Hey, you enjoyed my games.” James retorted. “I did tell you you didn’t have to come if you didn’t like it.”

“You did.” James’ father laughed. “In front of his whole team too, Lily. Must have been maybe eight, nine years old, and he just looks up at me and says ‘If you’re so upset about it, don’t come. Maybe I’ll score more.’ and just stomps off in his socks. I couldn’t keep from laughing and it only made him angrier.”

“In front of the whole team.” Lily laughed, touching James’ arm fondly. “That must have been a sight.”

“Oh, he was quite the little rascal.” James’ father shook his head. “He knew what he wanted and he certainly wasn’t afraid of ordering around adults, even at such a young age. We weren’t surprised when we heard about the captaincy, even if he was.”

“They couldn’t have picked a better guy.” Lily said resolutely.

“In that, we’re all in agreement.” James’ mother said. 

“Amma, ease up. She’s nice and you should be too.” James whispered. 

“It seems to be a good match in that regard.” James’ father piped up. “Both of you are ready to defend each other. Good to see so early. Maybe it will keep, if you’ve already started now, hm?”

“We haven’t talked about that.” James said, glancing over at Lily with an apologetic look on his face. “I told you both, we’re taking it slow and we’ll see where things end up.”

“It’s been a pleasure getting to know your son better.” Lily told both parents. “He’s a great man. And I’m lucky to have the chance to.”

“We forget, sometimes, that all these things are different here. For us, it was much simpler. We met a few times, we enjoyed each other’s company, and then we got married. Done.” James’ father said, giving the distinct impression that he was well used to apologizing on behalf of his wife. “He is, isn’t he? We did well by him.”

“It must be odd, the way we’re doing things.” Lily offered, trying to put herself in the Potter’s position. 

“Very.” James’ mother nodded. “But we’ll get used to it with time.”

“No bad metaphors, Amma, please.” James cut in. 

“None?” James’ mother shook her head. “They aren’t terrible. I try my best.”

“That’s the problem.” James shuddered. “You keep trying.”

“I need to use the restroom. I’ll be back in a minute.” Lily told the small group, offering a smile and squeeze to James’ arm before leaving them. 

“So, she’s nice.” James’ father nudged his son in the ribs with his elbow. “I like her. Very friendly, very sweet, can handle your mother. That is all we’re looking for.”

“Handle me?” James’ mother challenged. “Is it so hard for you two?”

“No, not at all.” James said quickly. “Never. We love you.”

“We love you.” James’ father echoed. “Very much.”

“She’s-- She’s important to me, and I’d like her to stick around, if it works out that way. And part of that is me liking her and the other part is you liking her.” James said, keeping an eye on the bathroom door. “And I really want both of those parts to come through. Lessen the chance of something bad happening.”

“Well, no need to worry about us.” James’ father said cheerfully. “One problem solved, hm?”

“One less thing to worry about.” James smiled. “That definitely helps.”

* * *

 

“So, Lily Evans, I hear there’s been a development I should be aware of.” Jordy said. “What do you reporters call it? A scoop?” He laughed. “Boy, I sound like a jerk. Congrats on James. He’s a good kid.”

“You called it early.” Lily pointed out, amused by his teasing. “You deserve some gloating.” Lily caught sight of James speaking with a few unfamiliar faces not too far away and couldn’t help but smile. “He’s really the best. I’m lucky to have him.” 

“Treat him right or we’ve gotta break your fingers. Nothing personal, we drew up a contract a while ago and I signed it like an idiot, so that’s there.” Jordy shook his head. “Ah, teenagers.”

“Fingers? You couldn’t go for my kneecaps instead? I do a ton of typing.” Lily pointed out.

“Knees are too permanent.” Jordy shrugged. “Plus, fingers heal back all right eventually. Knees might not. And although that’s a decent reminder, I mean, I’d rather not, you know? Just for the scandal aspect.”

“I admire the amount of thought that went into this. Fingers it is, then. You can have them if I do wrong by him.” Lily vowed, smiling a little.

“I don’t think I need to worry about that too much.” Jordy said. “You guys are good that way. No drama. Unlike the two fucking clowns that are getting married this week.” He grinned. “Man, it’s weird to think about that.”

“It’s been coming for so long but now that it’s here, it’s strange. Plus.” Lily commented lightly. “They do like to do things on hard mode sometimes.” She remarked fondly. “I don’t know how they do it, but they do, and here we are.”

“God, yeah. If something’s easy, they want no part of it.” Jordy said. “But they made it anyway. Some things are just supposed to work out, I guess.”

“I think you’re right. And if not, Sam and G would kick fate’s ass to make it happen. Only they could.”

“Sam could do it herself.” Jordy laughed. “G’s there to fly the plane.”

“Things work out best that way.” Lily laughed. “They know their strengths.”

“Getting back to the task at hand, though, be careful with him, okay? He’s gone through some shit to get to where he is and I don’t want any optional bullshit in his life.” Jordy looked rather serious all of a sudden. “I get that he’s a grown up and he can make his own decisions and I respect that, but… The schedule’s a lot. The pressure is a lot. And on top of that, trying to handle a relationship… I don’t know how G and Sam do it. But I need to know that you know how. Or at least that you’re game to figure it out.”

“I’m being careful.” Lily assured him. “I know you guys have your concerns. And I’m not going to say that I know it all, or how to do this, but James and I will figure it out together. We do pretty well on that front.” She admitted. “And I have Sam on standby for all this.”

“Careful’s all I ask for.” Jordy nodded. “Yeah. I mean. Concerns are concerns. They’re gonna be there ‘cause we care about him, that’s about all I got on that front. If we cared less it’d be easier for you, but I’m guessing it’s good for everyone that we’re all up for a challenge.”

“I get that.” Lily said with ease. “James inspires fierce loyalty. You’re going to look out for your guy.”

“James authorized one shovel talk, so I figured I’d get things done. Can’t let G have a second try, that’s shit that doesn’t need redoing.” Jordy shrugged. “Yeah. He does. He’s always been that way.” He smiled fondly. “When I first met him, it was a done deal. Somebody had to watch out for that kid. I figured I’d do it. Why delegate when you can have the fun yourself?”

“One shovel talk. Got it. You did a good job. You didn’t go as hard as G, but still very effective.” Lily told him. “You met him when he was a little thing. Of course you’d want to look after him.”

“Sums up how we play too, doesn’t it?” Jordy joked. “It’s all personality out there. Well, mostly. Either way, yeah, he really was a little thing. We used to call him Piglet ‘cause he was such a downer about everything and then it caught on in the locker room.”

“Piglet!” Lily said, delighted. 

“‘I don’t wanna go outside, Jordy, it’s already dark! Don’t we have a curfew, Jordy? Isn’t that a rule?’” Jordy’s imitation of James was spot on, from the few interviews Lily remembered surrounding his draft. “And telling him I was captain and no one was going to bother me about anything never helped. God, he’d just stare up at me with those puppy eyes. No eye contact, that was rule number one.”

“You’re in deep trouble if he gives you those Potter eyes.” Lily agreed. “He just wanted to follow the rules, bless him.”

“I never minded it too much, got him to get in a little trouble so he’d be ready for the league. Pissed him off to no end. He hated every second of it. He’s used to getting his way at home, with no siblings about. Somebody saying no really got that motor going.” Jordy laughed. “G and I are used to a little commotion. Both of us are the youngest in our houses, so getting one over on someone was a first. We had a good time and nobody got hurt.”

“The youngest sibling club.” Lily nodded. “It’s our duty to drag kids with no siblings into some mild trouble, huh?”

“The endless fight for dominance continues.” Jordy grinned. “Yeah. Mild trouble only. Only a little bit illegal. We promise.”

“Only a little bit illegal.” Lily echoed, laughing. “Exactly.”

“He’s a good guy. I’m glad you two have got each other.” Jordy patted Lily’s shoulder. “You’re a good fit in the group. Plus, now there’s somebody else interested in taking Sam down a few pegs, huh?”

“I appreciate that, Jordy.” Lily smiled. “As for Sam, she’s my girl. I’ve got to side with her. We’ve been buds too long for me not to. Plus, she’d legit murder me.”

“Damn it. No backup, then?” Jordy pouted. “Darn. That’s okay. I can continue on alone, I guess. Fighting the good fight. Being the voice of justice while you hooligans mess around and do all sorts of garbage.”

“You don’t have at least a little hooligan in you, Jordy?” Lily tilted her head consideringly. “I find that hard to believe, but I’ll go with it.” 

“Oh, I’ve got plenty.” He smirked. “You’ve heard stories, I bet.”

“I might’ve heard a few things, yeah. Honestly, it made me think we’d get along just fine.” 

“Really?” He asked curiously. “What have you got on me? I like to know that shit. Just for personal reasons.”

“I think my favorite was the story about you going missing at a child’s birthday party in junior, only to be found half dressed and sleeping in a deflated bounce house.” Lily admitted with a smile. “No one knows how or why, which is what makes it great.”

“Listen, I had my fun. And the best part is that I don’t know how or why either, so that mystery’s going to be unsolved forever.” Jordy laughed. “It was pretty great, I bet. The guys got scared a bit but fixing that was simple stuff.”

“James said the natural response was muted panic that you’d somehow died because obviously that’s the first rational scenario. At least at that age, it must’ve been.” 

“People almost died a lot in junior. James was just a chicken back then.” Jordy shook his head. “Running around trying to get people to eat vegetables and stop littering. Nobody thought he’d make it but here we are, huh?”

“Sounds like him.” Lily said, melting a little. “The sweet part, I mean. Not the one about being a chicken. And here we are.” She agreed, shaking her head. “Sometimes more stays the same then changes.” 

“He used to get so mad when we’d spit while sitting on the bench.” Jordy said. “God, he’d just look at me with the most defeated expression on that tiny little face and be like ‘Jordy, please, it makes me sad’. We laughed at him way too much, poor kid. Of course, most of it was because he told us it made him sad, and that was really the end of it. Everyone started doing it even when they didn’t need to just to piss him off.”

“His standards were too high for hockey.” Lily laughed. “No spitting, eating right, doing good. And somehow he ended up throwing himself into this crazy sport.” 

“Oh, absolutely. All of us kept telling him, like come on, kid, you’re about two feet tall and a stiff wind could knock you over. Go play baseball or something. Wouldn’t hear a word of it and he worked harder for it, I think.” Jordy said. “A bunch of guys didn’t believe it, when the first overall pick came through, but he didn’t come back to Red Deer after that, so there were no jokes to be had about it.”

“He wanted it and he made it happen, no matter what anyone had to say. Like I said, more stays the same than changes. He’s still determined as hell.” Lily said, feeling a flare of pride for James.

“That determination was what held him steady. It’s a good trait.” Jordy nodded. “G and I tried to make it into a positive, you know? A lot of people were on his side, but even more weren’t, and it’s a lot, facing that on your own when you’ve had your parents up until then. I mean, sixteen year olds aren’t known for smart choices beyond that, but… I dunno, it was a hell of a time for all of us. We made it happen, though. Stuck together and teamwork won out.”   


“You sure did. The three of you needed each other, and there you were. At the right time and everything.”

“And, as I hear it, he’s gotten extra lucky with you.” Jordy smiled. “You’re all right, Evans. I trust you.” He slapped her back like she was just another one of the guys, perhaps with a little too much force. Jordy, like both of his best friends, was quick to forget his own strength. “Keep my boy safe or there’ll be consequences. I’ll dream up a few more and text you about them.”

“You’ll need my number to make good on that.” Lily pointed out.

“No need.” Jordy smirked, tapping his phone screen. “I’ve already got it.”

“This hockey mafia nonsense, I swear.” Lily muttered. 

“I’ve got my ways.” Jordy said. “Contacts, favors, debts.... It’s all in how you play the game, Evans.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Lily remarked, shaking her head at Jordy’s pleased look.

* * *

 

After the rehearsal dinner the night before, which had included minimal silliness, everyone was prepared the next day when it was time for the ceremony. 

Lily remained sectioned away with Sam, barely noticing the flowers and beautiful surroundings as she watched her friend go through the process of getting ready, from hair to makeup, until it was time to put on her gown. 

“Dude.” Lily sniffed quietly, not daring to put her hands near her eye makeup which had been so carefully applied. “You look amazing. Like, I would steal you away from G but he can actually fight.”

The other bridesmaid, Brandi, who seemed totally on board with how ridiculous Sam and Lily were, laughed like it was a great joke, while Sam grinned at the high praise.

“I mean, honestly, I’d fight him for myself right now, so that’s high praise. Hell yeah.” Sam smiled. “Let’s hope he doesn’t have the same enthusiasm for fighting that you do. I mean, I know he doesn’t, but I’m not about to get in a fight dressed like this. That’d be impractical as hell.”

“You’d go down in a second.” Lily agreed. “Wedding dresses aren’t built for combat.” 

“I’m not about to lose even more of the height I have.” Sam laughed. “I’m already at a pretty huge disadvantage here. Not gonna let that happen to me too.”

“No. You’re perfect, as is. Height? Check? Dress? Check? Beautiful.” Lily waved vaguely at Sam’s face and body. “Check. You’re ready, Sam.”

“G’s absolutely going to lose it.” Brandi agreed, beaming happily.

“He better.” Sam joked. “This doesn’t come cheap.”

The trio chatted with ease as, every so often, a camera would click as the photographer moved around the room, intent on capturing every detail. Lily couldn’t help but marvel at the entire day, between making friends with Sam so many years ago, as two kids who loved a sport that didn’t particularly love them back, to meeting G, and then now. It was all a whirlwind in her mind. Happy, exciting, and unbelievable all at once.

“I’m so thankful you’re here, man. It’s really awesome that you were able to make it.” Sam said. “Even if it did take a boyfriend to drag you here.”

“Unfair! I wouldn’t miss this, are you kidding? Everyone’s going to cry, except you because you’re a champ, the reception will be a blast. This is going to be the best.”

“Oh, G’s already crying. Your boy’s sent me about twelve pictures.” Sam laughed. “Yeah. I hope it’ll be the best. Man, the nerves are hitting hard.”

“Oh, G.” Brandi said fondly.

“Everyone will be so focused on him losing it, you can just strut down that aisle. Does that help? I’ve never had wedding jitters and I didn’t Google this.” Lily admitted.

“That’s the best part of him.” Sam sighed. “Nobody cares what I do because he hams it up on default. What a guy.”

There was a sudden, lovely swell of music not too far off and Sam’s dad joined them, with a small smile for his girl. 

“Here we go.”

* * *

 

“Dude. You’re going to be married in a bit.” Jordy said, reaching up to cup G’s cheeks in his sweaty hands. “Bro. Like forever and shit.” 

“Yeah, man.” James chimed in, teary eyed and lost for words despite the ceremony still having yet to start. “Like, forever and shit.”

“I’m going to be the best husband ever.” G said, and Jordy patted G’s face like a proud mother. “Like, I’ve read books about it and everything.”

“Books.” James repeated emptily. “He read books. For her. Bro.”

“My baby boy’s growing up.” Jordy slapped G on the shoulder, trying to recoup some semblance of masculinity, but gave up immediately afterward, gathering G into his arms. “Dude. Holy fucking shit, dude.”

“Maybe stop dropping the f bombs, bro. My mom is right there.” G whispered, glancing over his shoulder at his mother, who was seated in the front row, thankfully looking elsewhere. “But thanks. Really. This-- This wouldn’t be a wedding without you guys. We wouldn’t be here without you guys. This is-- This is your big day as much as mine, you know?"

“Bro.” James shook his head. “No. We’re not doing this. I’ve decided. We’ve still gotta stand here and look like we’ve got it together for an hour or something. No talking to me anymore.”

“G, babe, you’re gonna go up there and you’re gonna kick marriage’s entire ass. The whole thing. You’re going to be the best in the world.” Jordy let go of G reluctantly, holding him at arm’s length for a second. “We’re so proud of you, dude. Get it. Like, metaphorically with feelings, not just the sex.”

“Thanks bro.” G replied, voice hoarse as he rubbed at his eyes. “Bro, I’m about to bawl all the way through this. What the fuck?”

“Don’t worry, man.” James nudged G with his shoulder. “We’ll give you company, like always.”

“You guys are the best friends ever.” G grinned. “I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

“Remember that for the next time I fuck up.” Jordy deadpanned, provoking a round of laughter from both G and James, who, for a split second, looked exactly as they had years before, when they were all children staking their claim on their little slice of Alberta together. “G, you’re gonna do great. We’re both so proud of you.”

“Yeah, bro.” James said, coughing to try and clear away the lump in his throat. “We’re hella proud.”

“Oops, the hellas are coming out.” G teased, rubbing James’ back. “It’s almost time for the big thing anyway. I’ll be okay. I’ve got this.”

“Yeah.” Jordy smiled. “Don’t worry, big guy, we know.”

* * *

 

“Hey.” James whispered. “You doing okay? No tears yet?”

“Few tears.” Lily admitted softly. “I thought the makeup lady was going to shoot me. How you holding up?” 

“Oh, I’ve cried three times already.” James said, as casual as can be. “Working on a fourth.”

“Can’t be helped.” Jordy stepped out ahead of them, walking arm in arm with Brandi, giving Lily the opportunity to place a quick kiss on James’ cheek as she linked her arm with his. “Ready, handsome?” 

“I mean, it’s not me doing the hard part, so hell yeah, let’s go.” James joked. “Let’s get moving, then?”

They walked arm in arm past a sea of familiar, smiling faces, their steps measured and even. When it was time for them to part, Lily tightened her hold on James’ arm briefly before letting go and joining Brandi. 

The rest of the ceremony was mostly a blur of tears, first as Sam walked in on her father's arm, looking so stunning and in her element, and then a moment later when G caught sight of her and promptly lost it. 

It was blessedly short, with everything seeming to tumble quickly together until Lily was wiping her eyes and handing Sam her bouquet so she could walk back down the aisle with G.

G and Sam were given little time together when they were all yanked outside to pose for pictures. Lily sprinted, as best she could given her dress and heels, over to James for a quick hug. 

“They’re married.” She said, when his arms came around her automatically. 

“They did it.” He replied quietly, pulling back to kiss her forehead. “I tried to slip G some tissues when the tears started, but he was too far gone to pick up on my shoving them at him.”

“You tried and that’s what counts.” Lily laughed, reluctantly pulling away as Sam called her name.

Pictures, as expected, took forever. And then it was time to head back inside and mingle with the other guests for dinner and drinks. And after that, the highlight of the night, the speeches.

* * *

 

“Hey everybody. Hope you’re all having a great time. If you don’t know me and my buddy here, I’m Jordy Leung and this is my boy James Potter. We’re G’s best men, because our sweet, indecisive monster of a best friend couldn’t admit to the fact that I’m better.” Jordy grinned, always one to work a crowd well. He glanced over at James apologetically, taking James’ shrug as implicit approval to continue. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. The reason why we’re really here is because we have some grievances to air and a wedding seemed like a perfect time to do it. Eyes to the Powerpoint, folks. We may not be able to read, but we’re going to teach everybody something.”

“Exhibit A.” James pressed a button, flipping to the second slide. “This picture was taken in September of 2020, shortly after G came up to St. Louis to get used to the area before training camp.” On the screen, eighteen year old G, snapback, Canadian flag tank top and all, had an arm around Sam’s shoulders, both of them laughing at something outside the frame. “While it’s cute, we have several complaints.”

“Exhibit A Point One.” Jordy cut in, as James switched the slide to show a more zoomed in version of G’s face. “That is a San Francisco Forty-Niners hat. For those of you who haven’t been reminded in the last two minutes, G is, like, super Canadian. Like knows all the words to O Canada and doesn’t just mumble after yelling O Canada at the beginning Canadian.”

“Vancouver Canucks fan type of Canadian.” James added.

“He’s so Canadian he probably bleeds maple syrup or something. He actually tries to get us to celebrate Canada Day.” Jordy shuddered. “Anyway, complaints about Canadianism aside, why would such a proud Canadian own a hat with a NFL team on it? Wouldn’t he have stuck to the CFL? In particular, the BC Lions, who G is known to love? The same BC Lions whose color scheme is weirdly orange and not red, black and gold?”

“Exhibit A Point Two.” James added, flipping to a slide that showed a cropped version of the previous photo, focused around the previously insignificant matter of G’s shorts. “On the left side, you see a… a… that’s a skull, I never quite figured out what kind of skull, but that is some sort of animal skull with horns. So, these are Rebels shorts. The most important thing about this picture is the numbers, though. That is clearly a fifty-two.” He pointed at the screen, circling the number a few times with a laser pointer. “G hasn’t worn that number in his life.”

“Which leads us to Exhibit B!” Jordy motioned for James to switch the slide again. “This picture was taken within one week of the other one and should reveal, to the discerning eye, several important points.” In the photo, three teenagers in matching burgundy and black hockey jerseys sat with their backs to the camera, the nameplates reading, from left to right, Potter, Daly, and Leung. “First, James Potter is wearing a hat with a San Francisco Forty-Niners logo on it. It matches the color scheme of the hat in Exhibit A, and everybody who knows James Potter knows that he only owns two things anyway, so it’s not likely that this belongs to anyone else.” 

“Secondly, Jordy wore 52 with the Rebels, as evidenced by the jersey. So those shorts belong to him.” James said. “So, that brings us to Exhibit C.” He flipped to the next slide, revealing a photo of Sam asleep on G’s couch in an oversized St. Louis Blues T shirt and shorts bearing the number twenty-one in the same shade of burgundy as the Red Deer Rebels jerseys. “Give us our clothes back.”

Sam burst out laughing, pressing further into G’s side, and G rolled his eyes, muttering something inaudible as he fought back a smile.

“What’s that, Dales?” Jordy cupped a hand around his ear. “Can’t hear you apologizing from all the way over here, bro.”

“That’s not what’s important, Jord.” James reminded him, flipping to the next slide, which bore a picture of G, Jordy, Sam and James taken with an old digital camera, the timestamp in the bottom right corner clearly proving that it had been taken in September of 2020. “What’s important is that all of this proves that we were there at the very beginning. Not only there, but apparently there enough that they thought it was cool to steal from us.”

“Which takes us to Exhibit D.” Jordy grinned as a familiar screenshot made everyone laugh. “Graeme Daly is the biggest sap in the whole world. As you’ll see, this message is dated March 27th of 2021, our dear James’ nineteenth birthday, and after saying happy birthday to his best friend like a good Canadian boy, Graeme Daly immediately sends a particularly interesting message to the chat. Read it aloud for us, G?”

“What do you do if you love someone?” G mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

“Louder, Dales.” James smirked. “Can’t hear you.”

“What do you do if you love someone?” G said, a little too loudly.   


“Good. Perfect.” James said. “That’s about how it seemed to us, right, Jord?”

“Absolutely.” Jordy laughed. “So that puts us about half a year into their relationship, which is pretty fast to be having any realizations about forever or something, but it’d be another year before G said anything in person, because as we all know, he’s the biggest chicken in the universe when it comes to commitment, as we’ll prove extensively later using texts he’s sent us this summer alone.”

“Exhibit E.” James said. The next slide had two images -- one of Sonic as a kitten, and the other, a cleverly screenshotted image of a text thread between James and G. “To quote our friend G exactly, ‘Is it, like, marriage if you get a cat together or something? Is that how commitment and shit works?’, to which I replied ‘I don’t know, G. I’ve never had a cat’. Keep in mind, they are still convinced this is a thing that friends do together. Animal adoption. I cannot believe we let this continue.”

“Exhibit F.” Jordy cut in. “I received this text at two o’ clock in the morning on May twenty-second, 2022, which, if you’ll remember, is almost eighteen months after September of 2020, when G and Sam met. It reads ‘She asked me out and I texted back “cool” and then kept talking to James, ‘cause we were having bro time on Skype, and then I read her text for real now and now I think I’m dying’. In the interests of full transparency, I replied ‘I mean, that’s a pretty solid response in my book’, to which G replied ‘That’s what I was worried about’.”

“Exhibit H.” James flipped to the next slide, which was a screenshot of their group chat. “About eleven months ago, G, at a ridiculous hour in the morning, sent us a how to website he found online about how to shop for engagement rings with the caption ‘this sounds so hard and I feel like she’d probably enjoy a ring pop more than some metal crap’. He then followed that up with ‘wow, girls are expensive’ and ‘what are we even doing with our lives anyway’. Jordy, upon waking up the next morning, had only one thing to say -- ‘nice’.”

“We skipped Exhibit G because we have Exhibit G himself over there at that table.” Jordy said, looking rather nervous. “I promise we know the alphabet. We can read.”

“Exhibit I.” James tossed the controller over to Jordy, who pressed the next button. “In which G works out the plans for the proposal in a group chat in which Sam is part of, as you can see on the right hand side of the screen. Sam messaged me privately, shown in Exhibit I Point One, asking whether he knew she could see these messages, and I told her just not to respond because I wanted to see how long he’d go. The answer to that question, as we found out, is three days, twenty-two hours and forty-six minutes.”

“You’d think that would be the end, but you’d be wrong.” Jordy chuckled. “Exhibit J, the groomsmen group chat, which G lovingly named ‘my best boys’. The opening message reads ‘Hey bros, sorry I couldn’t get to all of you guys individually or whatever but this is our team. Our bro collective. You guys are my favorites. Also, I’m pretty sure all of you would be willing to take me out if I asked for it, so you’ve been chosen for your loyalty. To which Keaner over there responded ‘what kind of take you out’ and James Potter, our sweet, innocent little star, responded ‘the death kind, Keaner, obviously’.”

“Exhibit K, that same group chat two nights ago.” James said. “G’s latest thrilling contribution, at that point in time, read ‘Is a wedding like a hotel reservation where you’ve got 48 hours for a refund or something’. Keep in mind, all but one of his groomsmen are not married. Thankfully, we have Frank Longbottom, resident marriage counselor, on call and he responded with ‘I Googled it and Google says no refunds’.”

“Finally, Exhibit L, from just twenty minutes ago. Yeah, I know, we were editing this powerpoint twenty minutes ago, feel free to laugh at us.” Jordy rolled his eyes. The name of the group chat had been blacked out, presumably because it had once again been named “fuck the chicago blackhawks” but the list of members on the side had been left alone -- G, Sam, James, Lily and Jordy. “Lily Evans, known James Potter enthusiast, said ‘congrats guys, we wish you all the best’, to which Sam responded ‘thank you babe but i think i’m done with this marriage thing already lmao’ and then G responded, complete with knife emojis, ‘@James Potter @Lily Evans you’re next’, proving that, if nothing else, his sense of humor is still intact.”

“What we meant by all of this is that G and Sam are well suited for each other. They share a number of interests, like stealing other people’s clothes, adopting cats, not being sure about commitment, and being mean to Lily Evans.” James said, wringing his hands as he glanced over at his friends. “As G’s best friend, shut up Jordy, I’m happy that you guys found each other, even if you took the rest of us on that ride with you. Hopefully you guys grow old with your hockey catdog and your thievery and you’re always happy with where you are.”

“What James said.” Jordy piped up. “Thanks everybody. We had a good time. Best of luck to the bride and groom and we have copies of this powerpoint for whoever wants it. Thank you.”

“Well, uh, that was something.” G shook his head slowly, eyes wide in disbelief, like he wasn’t quite sure if they were done yet. “Wow. Did not expect them to know how to read that much.”

“When they said a powerpoint, I figured it’d be, you know, harmless.” Sam blinked in surprise. “Wow.” 

“I didn’t even talk about the time I saw you naked.” James said brightly, a smile on his face.

“Thanks, babe. Loving the commitment to ruining my life. Thank you.” Sam groaned. 

“That level of commitment would be shocking if I didn’t already know you had it in you, for better or for worse, because of hockey.” Lily added, a little stunned. “That was something, babe.”

“We did our best. We’ve had years to prepare.” James said seriously. 

“I mean, we didn’t even scratch the surface.” Jordy said. “That rating rule really cut down the amount of material we had to work with.”

“Good.” G said. “Awesome. Amazing. Thank god.”

“Five year wedding anniversary gift to us all, busting out the R rated powerpoint.” Lily teased. “We deserve the truth.”

“The R rated powerpoint is pretty good.” Jordy grinned. “I mean, granted, your boy here pulled up the movie ratings website and read to me every single rule. I hated it. It was horrible.”

“We had to be informed.” James protested. “And you weren’t gonna do it.”

“Sounds like him.” Lily commented. “Keeping everyone out of trouble for the greater good.”

“Good way to start off a marriage, in my opinion.” Jordy said to G. “With all your shit out there. Everybody knows what you’ve been up to, so nothing past this point is any trouble.”

“I hate marriage.” G whispered, earning an enthusiastic nod from Sam. “Should we take it back?”

“Unfortunately, no backsies.” James said. “Sorry.”

“Damn.” G shook his head. “Fuck. That R rated powerpoint is going to be some good stuff, babe.” He squeezed Sam’s hand, which had been in his for more or less the whole afternoon. “You excited?”

“Terrified.” Sam admitted. “But it’ll be worth the wait.”


	11. Back to Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something wicked this way comes and its name is Petunia Dursley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those of you who worried about us last week -- a lot of things came to a head and two highly suspect internet connections added up to no update. Not to worry now, because we're back with Chapter Eleven, which is full of the emotional highs, lows, and mediums that people read this for (well, maybe not the mediums).

“Well, we were right, weren’t we?” James said softly, brushing his lips against Lily’s temple. “It was a good trip.” Waiting until the very last minute to leave had landed them a middle of the night layover in an airport whose name James couldn’t remember, but all airports were nameless to him, after years of constant travel for hockey. Thankfully, he spent much less time on busses than he had in juniors -- planes were far more comfortable and using the bathroom on one wasn’t tantamount to a crime. “We had a good time.”

“We had a good time.” Lily echoed, leaning further into him. “Seeing them so happy was amazing. But it was a lot, you know? Kind of a big fuss when you can just get a marriage license and not have to worry about two hundred people watching your every move.”

“You don’t like a huge fuss made over these things.” James smiled at her. “Duly noted.”

“Duly noted, huh?” Lily grinned without looking at him. “I thought we were taking this slow?”

“I’m not about to use that information now.” James chuckled. “We’ll take our time with it, don’t worry. If we do anything serious now, then G and Sam’ll be after us for stealing their thunder, and I can’t get myself exiled from the friend group right after the wedding. That’d just be rude.”

“You’re a good friend, taking that into account.” Lily laughed, patting his chest. “You sure you don’t want a big day? Friends, teammates, the whole thing?” 

“Babe. Look at me.” James gently turned her face toward his. “Neither of us wanting a big event is a big relief. When, uh, if, I guess, we get there? We’ll do something small, maybe. Have buds over for dinner. None of this production stuff.” He shook his head. “It just seems like a ton of work, you know? And we’re not into it. It’s a nice thought, us being on the same page about this stuff.

“Something simple. Relaxed. If.” Lily agreed, mirroring his sentiment. “If is good for now, hmm? We have enough going on.”

“Speaking of pressing things, we’ve got a pretty full schedule now, huh? Dinner with your parents soon, and I know you’re loving that concept. Remus and I have full go time on the hockey camp, now, seeing as we’re like, what, a month out from the start, at this point?” James frowned, obviously counting out the days between now and the start of camp, before nodding, satisfied. “I’ve got to get some more rehab stuff done so this old thing’s ready to go for September. Nothing’s hurting anymore, it’s just stiff, and that’s its own thing.”

“We need a list.” Lily groaned.

“No need.” James dug his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and clicking on the Calendar app before handing it over. “I, uh, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve been putting your stuff in here too. Just helps me know when stuff’s going on.”

“That’s considerate.” Lily said quietly, happily. “If I was half as organized as you, I’d do the same.”

“It’s busy, you know? Fuck, it’s almost August. Time’s really rolling, isn’t it?” James shook his head, taking his phone back. “Time really does fly when you’re having fun.” He wound the fingers of his free hand into Lily’s hair. “And we are definitely having fun. Or I am, at least.”

“I am too.” She kissed his jaw, the closest part of James she could reach, before settling back against him.

“Then it’s settled.” James smiled. “It’s good stuff. And we had our time off, but now it’s back to work.”

* * *

They were in the middle of grocery shopping, arguing over their meals for the week, at least, pretending it was arguing as they loosely held hands and surveyed their list in the produce aisle when the call came. Lily was fully prepared to make her case for one night of takeout, which was risky given the way they’d eaten at the wedding, when her ringtone interrupted her before she could get going.

“This isn’t over.” She promised, grinning as she backed away from James. “I have an argument ready. Sources. Graphs. The whole thing.”

“I can hardly wait.” James laughed, shaking his head as she turned her back on him to take the call.

“Lily Evans speaking.” Lily said, clear and crisp as she ducked into the bread aisle, nearly running into a woman in the process and mouthing a silent, heartfelt apology.

“Hi, Lily, this is Ian from the Seattle Thunderbirds PR. Is this a good time?” 

Lily’s heart immediately kicked into overdrive, preventing her from speaking for several seconds. The Thunderbirds were a major junior hockey team just south of Seattle. Lily had heard about the Thunderbirds job opening in public relations from a friend of a friend a few weeks before, and hadn’t wasted any time tailoring her resume and sending it in. It was a chance to work with some of the younger talent as they careened toward a future in the NHL, while continuing to grow and promote the team’s presence online. 

After a beat of silence, Lily stiffened her shoulders and nodded, beginning to pace the aisle. “Now is perfect, actually.”

“Great. We looked over your resume and wanted to move forward in setting up an interview in the next week or two.” 

Lily continued the call, managing to sound cool and collected, even as she rifled through her purse to dig out the notepad she kept on hand out of habit and then dig even deeper to come up with a pen. She scribbled down the date and time of the interview, and managed to thank him for his time before jamming her notebook back into her purse and hurrying back to James, who was only a little further down the aisle, seriously considering the box in his hands. 

“Everything okay?” He asked, glancing up from reading the label like it held the secrets of the universe.

“Yeah. More than.” Lily smiled. “Job stuff.” She clarified. “We can talk when we get home?” 

The rest of the shopping and ride home felt like it took forever, but only because Lily’s excitement, which she was working overtime to keep in check, was mounting. She thought of everything from the outfit she’d need for her interview, to the way she would pitch it to James once they got back to the apartment.

By the time they got home, with the groceries put away and James seated at the counter, waiting patiently, Lily was practically vibrating.

“Okay. So. A few weeks ago, I heard about an opening and sent out a resume to the Thunderbirds PR department.” Lily said, fingers drumming on the countertop as she spoke. James perked up at her words and she couldn’t help but smile as she continued. “They’re looking for someone to work with the guys, get them media ready. And make sure social media is doing its thing. That was my call back for an interview.”

“I think that sounds like an awesome idea for you, so long as it’s what you want.” James grinned. “Variable cast of people, so you’d be working with a lot of different players and personalities, and juniors needs more talented people like you, you know? The media we deal with there plays a huge role in getting us ready for handling stuff as pros. And you’re perfect for that.”

“Thank you.” Lily reached across the counter for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to convey her gratitude. “I needed that, babe. It means a lot coming from you. I’ve still got other options open, but this is one I’m kind of getting excited about.” 

“You sure you don’t want to work for someone else, though? I mean, the NHL market’s probably better, for jobs, and the Metros are always looking for more PR people. We’re kind of a rowdy lot, so people are in and out a lot.” James scratched his head, his expression both nervous and apologetic. “I could look into it, if you wanted. As a backup option.”

Lily understood where James was coming from with his offer. She knew he’d do just about anything to help make sure her next job was a perfect fit, including putting in a word for her with his own organization, which would be as good as guaranteeing her a job. 

But she couldn’t let him do that. 

“I appreciate the thought, James. But I can’t go that route.” She explained, coming around the counter so she could rest a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t want my job dependent on you or having people think your position influenced where I end up. This one’s on me.” 

“Oh.” James’ eyes widened. “I didn’t even think of it like that. Yeah, yeah, I totally get it. I wouldn’t want to put you in that position either.” He shook his head. “I can try asking around with the Tips too? I know a guy in their front office. If the goal’s to be close by, there’s those two big ones. I want to do something to help. It just seems like there’s just… a lot of pressure on you, and any way I can help, I want to.”

“Let’s see how things work out with my leads first, okay? I’ll mostly need you as a sounding board if you’re up for it. I have to make a good pitch for every interview. And I could use your thoughts. If anything else comes up, I’ll let you know. You’re doing a lot just by being in my corner.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I’ll help with that stuff.” James planted a kiss on her cheek. “What’s important is that you’ve got a good lead in hand and that you’re feeling ready to chase it as far as you need to. No harm in keeping a few options open. I’m so proud of you, babe. This is big stuff. I never had to do any of this, so it’s just kinda remarkable to see you doing all of this, you know? You’re amazing.”

“Our career paths call for a slightly different interview process, that’s for sure.” She teased, leaning in to give him a proper kiss. “Thank you for being excited with me. And supportive. You’re pretty amazing yourself.” 

They took their time there, lingering together in a soft bubble where only they existed and nothing else mattered. It was rare to find such a perfect moment, with James holding her hand and Lily finding herself drawn closer and closer still until their knees brushed, as they considered each other and their future and how bright it all could be.

* * *

“All right, babe, practice makes perfect.” James leaned in for a kiss to catch Lily off guard, pulling away with a smirk on his face. “If hired, what will you bring to the Seattle Thunderbirds organization?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me.” James laughed. “Answer it, come on, I’m trying to help.” 

“Extensive social media experience and people skills.” Lily blurted offhandedly. 

“Oh, come on, babe, put a little work in.” James teased. “Saying the same old thing is my job, not yours.” He shook his head, sighing melodramatically. “Come on, you’ve got more to you.”

“Alright. Fine, fine.” Lily waved him away. “Two of my obvious assets are my knowledge of the give and take between players and the media, and leveraging social media in meaningful ways. That’s what got me in the door. But beyond that, I bring hard work and loyalty, and the ability to thrive when working in group settings and teaching what I’ve learned to a diverse audience.”

“There we go.” James beamed. “All right, next question. Where do you see yourself in five years? How do you see yourself growing and changing over that time?”

“In five years, I would still be with the Thunderbirds. With an even better understanding of the needs of our players to prepare them to further their careers.” Breaking character a little, Lily cocked her head, studying James. “In my private life, I’m with James Potter. I’ve undergone a last name change after a chill, non-wedding. We’re still loving each other like crazy. And we’re trying to decide whether we want to get a dog first or start a family. Personally, I think a dog is a good stepping stone.”

“Oh.” James blinked in surprise, breath stuttering in his chest. “Well, uh, that’s not interview stuff, but we’re sure as hell talking about that later. Tentative yes as long as it’s a small dog. I don’t like big dogs.”

“Later.” Lily agreed, smiling as he visibly tried to shake off the thoughts that gripped him. “What’s next?”

“Okay, then, regardless, come on, professional goals. Long term, short term, all that stuff. I would’ve said I’m shooting for two hundred before the next season’s out, and maybe three or four by the time five years from now rolls around. Took me roughly five years to get to two hundred, so I figure if I don’t lose any steam, I should end up around three-fifty at least, accounting for down years. God willing, I’ll do better than I have, but who knows, right? I could break my entire body tomorrow.” 

“Banned. We’re changing topics immediately.”

“Damn right we are. Uh, come on, proper goals this time.”

“My long term goal is to grow within the organization. I want to take what I learn in the short term and expand upon it to make sure I’m setting the players up for a successful transition in their career.” 

“Heck yeah. Good job, babe.” James smiled. “You’re rocking this. You’re gonna do amazing. You’re going to be the best in the whole world.”

“Tell me more. I’m into this validation stuff. Too late to back out now.” She teased.

“I love you.” James said, his palms fitting perfectly over the curves of Lily’s shoulders. “I’m not gonna have anything but the most confidence in you. That’s how it works.” He kissed her cheek. “Come on. You give me that much and I can’t give you the same?”

“I love you too. And you’re giving me plenty.” Lily assured him. “You had good questions and the element of surprise.” She laughed. 

“You have to be prepared for the unexpected, right?”

“I’ll be an expert if you keep throwing questions at me like that.” Lily said fondly. “Teamwork, right?”

“That’s what it’s all about.” James agreed with a smile.

* * *

Lily was pleasantly surprised when Tage arrived at the apartment, knocking this time so he could announce himself without giving her a heart attack. He looked calmer than the last time she’d seen him, without even a trace of the nervousness or anxiety that she’d witnessed surrounding his confession about his feelings for Felix. Instead, he thrust a bouquet of flowers at her, smiling sunnily as he did so and attempted to toe off his shoes at the same time. He failed miserably at both.

“You always have them on your table.” Tage explained as Lily accepted them. “I thought for once I would bring something to you and Cap. You take good care of us.” He said, shrugging inelegantly.

“These are great. Thank you.” Lily said warmly. “James, we’ve got to up our game, Tage brought us flowers!” She hollered, as Tage followed her into the kitchen.

“Flowers? What’s the occasion?” James called over his shoulder curiously.

“My mother would kill me for showing up empty handed so many times.” Tage admitted, dropping into a stool at the counter.

“We don’t invite you over to get things from you, Tage.” James told him seriously. “But they’re nice, and Lily loves flowers. So, thanks, bud.”

“Enough about that. What is new around here, hmm?” Tage asked.

“Lily might have some news.” James offered, sliding a plate toward the younger man.

“I don’t know yet. I don’t want to jinx it.” Lily said slowly. “But the Tbirds might take me on.”

Tage, who had been chewing and listening, seemed to chew faster and swallow quickly, looking excited. 

“My old team! That would be perfect.” He said in a rush. 

“You don’t even know what the position is.” Lily pointed out, laughing.

“Doesn’t matter.” Tage joined in, laughing as he nodded at James, a silent thanks for the meal, before continuing. “I spent two years there. It was hard, away from my parents, my older brother, Theo. But I loved it. Great group of guys.”

“You keep in touch with some of them?” Lily asked, settling on the opposite side of the counter next to James.

“Yes. A few of us got along better than the rest, you know? Clicked. We text, keep up with where we move and end up.”

Lily listened to Tage describe his time with the Tbirds, hearing stories where before she’d only known Tage’s impressive stats while with the team. He sounded so fond and enthusiastic, it made her wonder about James’ time at Red Deer, and the kind of stories he’d have in comparison, and whether his time there could have possibly been as wonderful as Tage made it sound for him and his teammates. 

A large part of her thought that, if that was the case, James would have told her more by now, and the thought was so jarring, she was lost in her head, torn between sadness and concern, as Tage finished his last story. 

“Now that I have talked your ear off, what about this job? What are the details?” Tage demanded, pulling from her own thoughts. 

“I’d be in charge of getting the guys media ready, most importantly.”

“A nightmare.” Tage laughed. “I’m kidding. Go on.”

Lily told him more about the offer and what it entailed, smiling when James’ hand found hers beneath the countertop as her and Tage spoke. Even if it had been hard then, judging by the easy smile on James’ face and the softness in his eyes, maybe it wasn’t so hard anymore.

* * *

Despite Lily’s best efforts, the night when James was set to meet the Evans family arrived. Dinner reservations had been made by her mother days ago, the date and time set in stone. The restaurant was nice, but not overly so. And Lily prayed to whatever deity might be listening that no one recognized James if they hustled themselves in and out accordingly. 

Lily existed mostly in a state of denial throughout the day. If she thought of other things, occupied herself elsewhere, it couldn’t actually be happening, right?

That worked until evening approached and she was forced to go through the ritual of showering and preparing for a night out. She wore her favorite sundress to bolster her confidence. It was a white, breezy dress that normally put a smile on her face and made her feel pretty. Tonight, it was striking out as she slid into the car next to James. 

“You sure you want to do this?” James asked, looking rather nervous himself as he gave Lily yet another once over. “We can still go home. I can fake an injury. As long as they haven’t seen us, we can still run for it.”

“No.” Lily said honestly, beginning to fidget with her hands. “I’m not sure at all.”

She wanted, more than anything, to be reassuring. She wanted this meeting to go similarly to her introduction to his parents. There had been an instant warmth from the Potter’s as they greeted her with not just curiosity, but kindness. They had been assessing her, as all parents do, but they managed to do it without making her feel like she was under a microscope, or one false step away from bringing everything crashing down. 

Remembering it now, she felt an odd swirl of dread and guilt in the pit of her stomach. 

“I don’t know.” Lily began slowly, shaking her head. “I don’t know how they’ll treat you. I’m used to dealing with them, but I’ve never brought anyone home before.” 

“You’ve never brought anyone home, huh?” James said. “Wow, way to make a boy feel special.” He squeezed her hand, hoping he appeared calm enough that it kept her somewhat at ease. “Is it--” He frowned. “Would they have a problem with you dating me? Is that something I need to be aware of or…”

“They haven’t said anything. They know who you are, obviously.” Lily let out a deep breath. “But I’m not going to pretend they’re progressive in any way. Shit.” She looked out the passenger window, shaking her head. “I don’t think we should do this. Which, in hindsight, I should have said, I don’t know, a week ago? But I didn’t, so I’m saying it now.” 

“Okay. Okay. That’s good to know.” James nodded. “That’s a tough situation for you, then. Coming into it like this. Jeez, wow.” He shook his head. “Okay. How do you want me to handle things? Like if stuff gets rough, worst case scenario, what are you expecting from me?”

 

“Tough for me?” Lily turned to look at him, frowning. “Babe, in this scenario? You’re the one I’m concerned for.” She admitted, staring down at her hands and letting out a deep breath. “If we’re doing this, and things don’t go well, we leave. That’s all I’m expecting.”

“For you, yeah.” James frowned back. “You don’t need to worry about me, babe. I’ve got this. I mean, look at the locker room I work in, right?” The joke fell flat, but James hoped it gave Lily some peace of mind. “Okay. If things don’t go well, we leave. Got it.”

“That’s terrible and true. Doesn’t mean I want my family to be a bad experience for you.” Lily replied. “And, yeah, if it goes south in any way, we leave.” 

“Good thing your sister won’t be there. Glad we got that taken care of, right?” James said. “It’ll be less stress on you with just your parents.”

“Yeah, I asked mom to make this easy on all of us.” Lily nodded. “I don’t know, James. My parents are hockey fans, so I think they like you, but when has that prevented people from simultaneously being terrible?” She drew her shoulders up resolutely. “I’m not going to let them be awful, okay?”

“The goal is to get through this with zero awfulness about anyone.” James said. “They’re your parents and I want to make this work. You made the experience good with mine, and I want to give that same effort, you know? You deserve it.”

As if summoned by their conversation, a sudden series of knocks on the passenger window had Lily jolting in her seat. Instinctively, she reared back, which gave her the perfect view of her mother standing right outside her door, frowning impatiently.

“No.” Lily said, softly at first, and then louder as she removed her seatbelt with unsteady hands. “No, no, no.” She said, flinging open the car door with more force than necessary and aiming an accusatory stare at her mother, and behind her, her sister, who stood with an expression bordering on delight. “Mom.”

“For heaven's sake, what are you two doing out here? Your father saw you when we were walking in--”

“Mom.” Lily repeated, finally capturing the other woman’s attention fully. “What is Petunia doing here?” 

“I was invited.” Petunia said calmly, no longer looking at Lily. Her attention was fixed on James, exiting the car slowly, as if he was afraid to interrupt the conversation. “Mom wanted me to meet your boyfriend, if he’s so important.” 

“You promised.” Lily said, making an effort to keep her voice down so they wouldn’t draw attention to themselves. “I asked and you said--”

“Lily, don’t be such a child.” Petunia remarked, still appearing completely unruffled. “It’s just dinner.”

James, desperate to ease some of the tension, quickly made his way over to Lily. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Evans. You too, Petunia. I’ve heard a lot of good things.” James smiled. The one good thing about working in a job that required him to talk far more than he was comfortable with was that James knew when and how to switch on the charm. The only problem was that, thanks to his natural tendency toward overthinking everything, charm didn’t often make much of a difference.

“I bet you have.” Petunia said with a wry twist of her lips, before turning back to her sister. “I can’t tell, Lily, but is it James you’re more ashamed of, or your family? I’m betting on the first one, otherwise you wouldn’t have waited so long to bring him around.”

“James.” Lily put a hand on his forearm, hardly daring to breathe as her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. “Time to go.”

“Okay.” James nodded, glancing over at Mrs. Evans before putting an arm around Lily’s shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, if you need to, let’s go.”

“Go? You just got here.” Mrs. Evans said, as if completely divorced from the attitude and words of her eldest daughter. 

“Petunia! What’s taking so long?” 

The trio turned at the sound of the raised voice, which belonged to a large man who had poked his head outside the restaurant door and was now charging toward them with a sour expression. 

“Lily’s causing a fuss, Vernon.” Petunia called back. “You know how she gets.”

“They’re at it again.” Mrs. Evans explained to Mr. Evans as he approached, trailing behind Vernon. “They fight like cats and dogs sometimes.” She said in James’ direction. “But they always make up.”

“Do we, mom?” Lily asked with a nearly hysterical laugh.

“Potter, right?” Vernon said, drawing himself to his rather unimpressive height, as if sizing James up. 

“Yes.” James said hesitantly, his hold on Lily tightening. “That’s me.”

“I always wondered why Seattle didn’t draft Snape. Hell of a player.” Vernon mused, clearly looking as if he would gladly expand on his hockey related knowledge, or lack thereof, if given the chance.

“Okay, yep. We’re leaving. This isn’t happening.” Lily declared, using the hold she had on James to lightly urge him in the direction of the car. Thankfully, he didn’t require much encouragement, and the both of them were in the car before Petunia could think up her next insult, windows rolled all the way up and blocking out the noise. 

“Wow.” James said, stunned. “That was… That was something.”

“You know how you prepare for an emergency? Worst case scenario? This was somehow ten times worse.” Lily babbled, pulling too hard on her seatbelt. “Wow. They really… pulled out the stops tonight. I’m sorry you had to see that. Hear it. Both. Jesus.”

“Babe. I’m mostly worried about you.” James frowned. “I’m okay, I mean, the worst thing they had to say about me was that Snape’s better than me, which we all know is a lie.” He shrugged. “I’m good, babe. It’s okay. What’s not okay is that you’re upset. And I know you’re not gonna want to talk here, so we’ll make a bit of an escape. Pick up some takeout on the way so we don’t miss dinner. Does that sound good? Or would you like to go home?”

“You want to just drive for a little bit?” Lily reached between them for his hand, holding it tightly in hers. “I don’t know where, exactly. Let’s just get out of here.”

“Okay. Sounds good.” James said, only truly relaxing once they were down the street, the parking lot out of sight behind them. “Man. That was a hell of a moment.”

“That was a series of nightmares, I think.” Lily corrected.

“You get to be asleep for nightmares.” James sighed. “Unfortunately, we weren’t.”

“We sure weren’t.” Lily sighed, running a hand through her hair. “If you’re not hungry, which, I’m doubting either of us has an appetite after that, maybe we can find somewhere to talk.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can wait a bit. Need a bit for the barf to settle, you know, after hearing the devil’s name and all that.” James joked. “We’ll find some place quiet, you know? Sit for a bit, like you said.”

“I think I know a spot. Take a right at the next light and I’ll get us there.”

The car ride didn’t last too long. It was a matter of minutes that stretched silently between them, before Lily asked him to turn off into what used to be her childhood stomping ground. James pulled into a spot in the empty lot and cut the headlights before settling back with a sigh.

“Want to get out? I feel like I’m suffocating in this car.” 

“Yeah, yeah, why not.” James held out his hand to her, a frown drawing his eyebrows together. “Let’s not bring all of this home with us.” He took her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. He let go of her hand, opening his door and slamming it behind him after he’d double checked his keys were in his pocket, and jogged around the back of the car to the passenger side door, holding it open for her. “Come on. Let’s enjoy the night. It’s good out. Warm. You can see some stars and everything.”

“Thanks.” She said quietly, stepping out and letting him close the door behind her. “It’s perfect out here. Quiet.”

He led her over to an old park bench, the forest green paint peeling off the old, cracked wood, and helped her sit down, pulling her into his arms once they were both seated, rocking them both slightly like they were children seeking comfort in each other. 

“We’ve got a full night ahead.” James said calmly. “We don’t have to let them live in our heads if we don’t want to.” He kissed Lily on the forehead. “Come on. Look. The stars are out and we’re leaving all these heavy things here. That’s what public places are for, right?”

“Right. Yeah.” Lily closed her eyes briefly, absorbing the feel of him as the balmy breeze stirred her hair. More than anything, he was solid. Not just physically, in the way he held her, as if he could keep pieces of her from flying apart through sheer willpower, but in every other way that mattered, too. He was solid and steady on top of so many other things, Lily thought it was a miracle she’d found him. “You really think we can leave all that here?”

“I think we can try.” James corrected himself. “I think we can do our best, and whatever comes out of it comes out of it. Relationships… relationships suck sometimes. And sometimes it’s hard. We’ll work on it, if it’s important to you. We’ll figure out what needs to happen to make things work.” 

Lily could see the proof of that belief in the cautiously hopeful look in his eyes, in the strong, harsh set of his shoulders. She knew he would keep throwing himself at her parents’ mercy until they broke the same way he did every single time he laced up his skates, putting his well being and self-image in the hands of others, many of whom hated his guts. 

“The best way to go forward is never doing that again.” Lily said, staring at the merry go round that had seen better days. “For both of us.”

“I don’t-- I don’t want you making that kind of decision for me.” James shifted uncomfortably. “You’ve already changed a lot of your life for me. If it’s for you, and you’re sure about what you need, then yeah. I’ll help you do whatever.”

“It’s for us both. There’s no… if it’s not good for you, it isn’t for me. But this has been coming for some time. You saw the way things were back there.” Lily reminded him gently. “That’s not a family. Not really.”

“I want you happy and surrounded by people who are good for you. And you make that last choice for yourself.” James squeezed her hand. “And if you’re saying this, then as your boyfriend, it’s my job to listen. Support the calls you make. I mean, you can make a family out of anything, you know? And if that’s not one, then we’ll find you another. No big deal.”

“No big deal.” Lily smiled for what felt like the first time all day. “I like that. We do pretty good at that stuff.”

“We’ve got this.” James said. “You and me? Nobody can beat the best team. We’ve got Remus and the boys and sometimes Sirius, when he can be bothered to come out of his dog cave… We’ll figure it out. Sometimes things we need come in shapes we don’t expect.”


	12. The Bisexual Agenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hockey camp preparations are under way, two characters share a coming out moment, and Lily makes an important decision about the future of her relationship with her bio family

“Camp number three, huh? You ready?” James rubbed his hands together before re-positioning his clipboard on his knees. As much as he did delight in the wonders of technology, some things were better done by hand, and rechecking, for the last time, which children would be attending and which of them needed gear or accommodations, was one of them. He was aware that it would be easier with a spreadsheet, but some things needed paper records. 

“Camp number three.” Remus echoed fondly. “After an entire summer of rehabbing this ancient body of mine, I’m over the moon to be doing something else.” 

“You think your ancient body will be able to skate? We’ve still got about two weeks, and you don’t have to. You can coach from the bench easy.” James frowned, looking Remus over. Even if the doctors were satisfied with how much Remus had recovered, James would always be a little more cautious than the situation required. Seeing Remus go down like he had was terrifying, and if James could avoid seeing that again for the rest of his life, he’d pay any price asked of him. “We can put you in with the bantam boys, and G’s willing to double shift with the mites and the squirts.”

“I do want the bantam boys so that works out well. I can see Tage working well with the mites. That way G doesn’t have to do too much.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll partner in with Tage on that. That’s the coed group anyhow, so two adults is better than one.” James nodded. “That leaves G and Jordy with the squirts, and no one’s claimed peewee yet, so maybe your buds from Michigan can take that one?”

“Peewee will be perfect for Scott and Adam. They’re just excited they can make it out here this year.” Remus smiled. “They’re pretty chill, so they’ll balance out the Jordy and G chaos well.”

“And we’ve got the girls figured out, huh? Last I checked, we were splitting them off at eight?” James said. “I told Michelle that she and Kim should take the ten and unders, and Tess and Rachel are taking the twelve and unders. Lauren and Rose have the fourteen and unders.”

“Awesome. Sounds like all the particulars are nailed down. How are we looking for lodging?” 

“We’ve got ‘em together by age group, as much as we can, and we’ve got parents who can drive in each group, but I figured we’d use some of the extra money to get a shuttle or something? From each place to the rink? Wanted to run it by you first. I know we’re only paying salaries out to the women players and I know they don’t know that, but there’s still some left over after. Might as well make it easier on the parents.”

“Yeah, I like that.” Remus said thoughtfully. “We have some involved parents, but you know the ones who can’t be there as much might have some guilt. It’ll be better all around to have a shuttle. Good idea, man.” 

“I know you said not to stress too much about this, but… I just want it to go perfectly, you know? I know we’ve done this twice already and that we know the ropes, but… I dunno, man, it’s a lot.” James ran a hand through his hair. “I just feel like-- I don’t know, I just feel like it’s a lot, this year, with all the hype people are putting on us ‘cause of the Cup and just… everything, really. I just feel like we’ve taken on too much.”

“I know what you mean.” Remus admitted, slowly. “There’s been more hype around it this year, for sure. Which is good, don’t get me wrong. But… how have you been on that front? If this is too much, we can move things around for you. Give you some breathing room.”

“Things have been… I guess okay, since I went home. Haven’t had too much trouble, I guess. Just normal worry, not anything special.” James shook his head. “I, uh, I wanted to ask you about one more thing, before we start? I-- I thought something fun might be bringing Lily in, maybe with a few people she knows, get ‘em to fake interview the kiddos in the locker room so they get the real experience. It’d give the parents something to take home.”

“Alright, that’s adorable. I love it. It’s cool getting Lily involved. And I bet the kids and parents will love it, too.”

“I dunno, man. I just-- I want people leaving camp happy, you know?” James shrugged. “Anything we can do to make this fun and a learning experience, we should.”

“It’s going to be good, James.” Remus reassured him. “It always is. We plan it to death and then the kids come out and love it. Hell, we love it. And if you’re not feeling so great at any point, you tap one of us and we take a little more control. We’re there for that, too.”

* * *

 

Lily was out of her interview with the Thunderbirds for all of five minutes before her phone rang. It took her what felt like another five to root around in her professional looking, oversized bag to find and accept the call.

“Hey, Em.” Lily greeted as she twisted in the driver seat to dump her bag in the back before getting her seatbelt on, while balancing the phone between her shoulder and cheek. 

“How’d it go?” Em demanded. “Every detail of today. Leave nothing out.”

“Well, for breakfast this morning, I had Cheerios. Not even the fun ones. The ones without sugar because my boyfriend cares about my heart health. Which is sweet but--”

“Oh my God, you’re both gross and the worst and I love it. The interview, Evans. Tell me all about it.”

“Fine.” Lily laughed. “It went well. There are a few other candidates, but I made it to the next round, so I’m feeling good.”

“Wow, they didn’t even wait to tell you you’d be in the next round. Pretty impressive. Not that I’m surprised.” Em went on. “Because you’re brilliant and they’d be lucky to have you--”

“And you’re not biased at all, hmm?” 

“Just stating facts!” Em laughed.

“I feel good, but I’m cautiously optimistic.” Lily admitted. “It feels like if I want it too much, the universe will throw that in my face and someone else will get it.”

“Totally normal. Healthy, even.”

“I love when you enable me.” Lily laughed, starting the car. “I’ve got to go, but we’ll talk later. And thanks for calling, Em. Means a lot.”

“Of course. Bye, Lily!”

* * *

 

Later that night, Lily changed out of her interview clothes and into sweats and one of James’ shirts, which she was practically drowning in, but loved all the same. It had been a long day and it was time to decompress and unwind together, in bed and cuddled up, as routine dictated. 

James was already in his bed, looking comfortable while propped up against the pillows, absently tapping away on his phone, until Lily got into bed beside him, and the phone was set aside on the nightstand so he could eagerly reach for her. 

“I’m so glad the interview is behind me.” Lily admitted, resting her head against his chest and closing her eyes. “All that build up and then it’s finally done. Feels good.” 

“Must be a relief, huh? Having that over with.” James smiled. “You can finally relax for a bit. Whatever it is, it’s out of your hands for now.”

“For now.” Lily agreed, adjusting the arm that was draped over her so it was more comfortable. 

Despite the fact that today’s main event had been the interview, Lily found that her mind was elsewhere. Her thoughts kept returning to Tage. In all honesty, she was a mess between excitement at the prospect of working for the Thunderbirds and uncertainty as she wondered how to work with a team while coming to terms with pervasive attitudes toward sexuality, gender, and race in hockey.

“Something on your mind, babe?” James frowned. “You look like you’re thinking real hard about something.”

“Yeah, I guess there is.” Lily said, sounding, to her own ears, a little nervous. “I’m wondering about T and Felix.” She admitted. “If they’ll be okay when they get back. And in the long run.”

“Okay about what?” James said. “They’re best friends. I mean, did something happen? Like did one of them piss the other one off or…” He scratched his head. “Now that you mention it, Felix did say something to me? I didn’t know what to say or do about it, really. Just texted me saying he’d made a real big decision and that he was worrying about it, but not to ask any questions and that he’d see me in September.”

“Remember our conversation about the way those two look at each other?” Lily prompted. “Things might be, uh, more than friendly between them. Maybe. Hypothetically.” 

“Oh.” James nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“Yeah.” Lily said, watching James carefully. She felt a wave of nervousness sweep over her as she considered the possibility, given the toxicity of hockey culture toward anyone who strayed from the white and straight model, that James might not be on board with knowing what was going on with T and Felix, or wanting to help keep them successful, but more importantly, comfortable with the Metros. “And if that was the case, I would be worried about them being, I don’t know, isolated? Or worse, around the team.” 

“We’ll figure it out.” James shrugged. “They’re good kids. I’m not going to say everyone will be fine with it, nor would I advise them to say anything in the locker room, but them being isolated is something you shouldn’t be worrying about. We’ll make it work. I mean, of all people, if I went around saying being something different’s not okay, that’d be fucked, wouldn’t it?”

“So you are okay with it?” Lily said quietly, pushing the issue slightly, and realizing she needed more than for him to merely tolerate the idea of not just gay teammates, but friends. 

“Yeah, of course.” James said. “Any concerns I’d have are more about dating a coworker than anything else? A lot of stuff comes with that kind of experience, logistically, emotionally, all that stuff. It’d be a lot to handle for anybody, let alone two kids, you know? But that’s why they’ve got us.”

“That would be tricky.” Lily agreed. “Seeing each other so much, but having to keep something so important, private? I don’t know how that would work out, but I’m glad they have us, at least.”

“I’d imagine they’ve had more than their fair share experience on the secret keeping front.” James shook his head. “Yeah. I want to make sure they know they’ve got us. We’ll worry about that when Felix gets back, I guess?”

“Right.” Lily nodded, taking a deep, calming breath. Words she had no intention of saying when she came into the room were suddenly at the forefront as she continued. “It’s important to me that you want to help them, selfishly I guess, because I’m not… straight, either. I’m bisexual, actually, if we want to get technical.”

“Okay.” James said. “Uh, that’s, um, big news. Glad you felt like you could share it with me. Cool.”

“Cool. Right.” Lily sat up, disentangling herself from him. She plowed a hand through her hair and picked a spot on the wall to look at instead of him. “That’s cool.”   


“Babe, no, I didn’t mean it like that.” James said, reaching out for her. “Look. It’s not-- I’m not uncomfortable with that stuff. I’m not like that and I don’t want to be like that. You’re important to me, and if me being on board with stuff is important to you, I’m going to do it. Your sexuality is your business. As long as you like me, I’ve got nothing to complain about.”

“Of course I like you.” Lily prodded his thigh with her toe before pulling her legs up to her chest and glancing down at him. “I hear you. You’re good with it, and that’s a relief because I have no idea what I would’ve done if you weren’t.”

“We don’t have to find out, so, no need to worry.”

“I don’t.” Lily shook her head, considering her next step. “I don’t want to overwhelm you, or freak you out or anything, but you should know, Em and I dated. We were in high school and pretty dumb.” She continued, trying to put him at ease. “We didn’t know what we were doing and just liked holding hands and stuff. But. That’s something you should know. It doesn’t really have any bearing on our friendship today? We were kids and it was nice, but we’ve been better as friends ever since.” 

“Oh. Uh, that’s, that’s definitely making her showing up easier, I guess. I’m lying.” James ran a hand through his hair. “Wow. Uh. Yeah, yeah, as long as she’s not about to fight me for your honor or anything, we’re good. No worries. No similar problems to worry about on my end.”

“No way. Nothing like that, at all. I’m sorry to drop this on you at once. I just… I didn’t know how to bring it up. So tonight’s the night, I guess.” Lily scooted a few inches so she was next to him again and could lay down by his side. “Yeah, you’d mentioned you hadn’t done this before, so I don’t imagine there would be any similar problems. Me having to fight a girl, or whatever.”

“Big night, big feelings. Why not get it all out of the way at once, right?” James said, looking rather nervous for a second before he shook his head, as if making some heavy, terrifying decision. “It wouldn’t be a girl. That you were fighting. But there’s no fight to be had there, so things are settled on your end.”

“It wouldn’t be a girl.” Lily said slowly, cocking her head. She reached for James’ hand, trying not to freak him out with how intense her gaze was. “Really?” 

“When I told you I was new to this, that I hadn’t done this before… I did mean I was new to  _ this _ .” James took a deep breath. “New to this with a girl, I mean.” He shot a careful glance at Lily, unsure how, or if, to continue. “I guess I didn’t think to specify. Or maybe I thought not to. So, uh, to be upfront about it, you’re my first girlfriend, but I’ve-- I’ve been in a relationship before. I’m not about to call that long term or anything, but, uh, yeah, it was serious in its own way, I guess.”

“What are the chances…” Lily murmured before squeezing his hand. “Thank you for telling me. Trusting me with this.”

“Yeah, right? We don’t like the easy route, do we?” James laughed. “Ah well. At least we’re on the same page.”

“Same page, same book, it sounds like.” Lily smiled. “I love you, babe.”

“Yeah, more or less.” James said. “I love you too. I’m glad we got this out of the way. Would’ve been hilarious if it’d come up later, but I’m thinking we need a little more normalcy. It’s out of the way and now there’s less thinking to do about stuff, which is always nice.”

“It’s out of the way. And we can focus on being good for guys like Tage and Felix. Hypothetically. If they needed that from us.” 

“Yeah, I mean, they’re about to get real lucky with me.” James chuckled. “Dating the guy you spent your entire rookie season falling for is kind of old hat.”

“Rookie season, huh? That’s a lot of change at once.” Lily frowned, imagining it. “Was it… was he good for you? To you, I guess?” 

“It was good. He treated me well, and I treated him well, and it was good. Nobody got hurt and nobody was sad more than they needed to be, but it got messy, you know? Complicated. Just ‘cause of work and the fact that, well, we really had no one we could talk to about how it made us feel, you know?” James reached out for Lily’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I don’t want the boys to feel like that. No matter how things turn out between them, we’re gonna be people they can both talk to. Or I want us to be. We’ve just gotta figure out how before Felix gets back.”

“I’m glad it was good.” Lily said softly. “Definitely. We’ll do all we can for the boys. Anything to make it easier on them.”

“Yeah. When it got to the point where things had to end, I’d like to think we handled that okay too. So god forbid, if the boys ever end up there, I’ve got advice on that too.” For a second, James looked sad, but the moment ended just as soon as it had started. “It’s a complicated thing. Especially with all the two faced crap about how people would be so cool about a player not being straight but at the same time everyone’s tossing slurs out like they’re candy. Shouldn’t have said cool to you for the same reason, I guess.” He laughed. “It’s all about self-awareness today.”

“Endings are hard, even when you think you handle it okay. Especially in that work environment.” Lily said thoughtfully. “As for my stuff, you did good, James. A little rough start, but you got the right words out.”

“Yeah. As long as I got to the right words eventually.” James smiled. “Promise me… promise me you won’t go looking for him? Like I need to know that you won’t. I don’t know if he’s ready for anybody to know about that stuff.”

“I wouldn’t do that. I won’t.” Lily said firmly. “I promise. All of this is between us, including the other guy.” 

“Okay. Good.” James nodded. “As long as that’s settled.” He took a deep breath. “Right, so what’s this about you and Em?”

* * *

 

“You’re pretty popular today, huh?” James remarked as Lily made a run for her phone in case it had to do with another potential interview, or, more likely, was Em calling back.

“Seems like it.” Lily called over her shoulder, all but diving for the phone on the kitchen table. 

Her sister’s name flashed up at her and Lily’s face fell. She thought briefly about rejecting the call, but knew that Petunia wouldn’t stop trying until she got what she wanted. She had something to say, and come hell or high water, would be heard. Better to get it over with in one go, rather than try to dodge her until Thanksgiving or Christmas, Lily knew from experience. 

“Petunia. Hi.” 

“Lily.” Petunia’s voice came over the line crisply and Lily slumped into one of the chairs surrounding the table, attempting to mentally prepare for whatever came next. “I thought I would’ve heard from you by now.”

“Me?” Lily laughed without humor. “Why would you think that?” 

“I don’t know, Lily, to apologize. Make things right after you ran off. The whole thing was an embarrassment.” 

“I mean, if we’re talking apologies, you could start with my boyfriend.” Lily pointed out, fighting to keep her voice even. “You were terrible to him. And why? If I had to guess, I’d say it has something to do with him not being white. Is it  _ rude  _ to point that out?”

“You’re being ridiculous.” Petunia said dismissively. “I rightfully pointed out that you’ve taken your time bringing him around. And then you left in a huff. Mom’s beside herself.”

“I don’t care how mom is! It’s not my job to clean up after everyone’s mess or pretend things are okay when they’re not. If mom’s upset, she should be talking to you about why you felt the need to make that night hell before we even made it into the restaurant.” 

“She just wants the best for you, Lily--”

“He is.” Lily said resolutely. “And she’d know that if she pulled her head out of her ass long enough to stop covering for your gross behavior.”

“Gross.” Petunia scoffed. “You’re so dramatic.”

“What I am, is done. Forget about calling me anymore, okay? I’m not picking up.”

“Lily--”

Lily pulled the phone away from her ear before she could hear more. She fumbled to disconnect the call and dropped the phone so hard on the table that the sound startled her as her thoughts raced. She took several deep breaths and closed her eyes, collecting herself before going to find James. 

“Well.” Lily rubbed a hand over her face, eyeing her phone warily. “I’m not going to say I’m surprised, but that wasn’t a good time. Apparently mom is crushed that dinner went to hell, and Petunia took the opportunity to lay that at my feet.”

“In the kindest, least mean way, Petunia can eat shit.” James pulled Lily into a bone crushing hug. “It wasn’t your fault, babe. You did your best. You tried to make it work, and sometimes things just don’t happen. That’s not something to blame people for. It should be a time to look closer at what you might be doing, but as I’ve understood, that’s not a strong point.”

“That’s never been my family’s strong suit, no.” Lily agreed, sighing. “We did our best that night. We showed up, wanting the best, and Petunia showed up out for blood. It’s not on us to put up with someone behaving that way.” She continued. “I know that, but it still makes me sad that it’s come to this. That my family can’t seem to just love each other in a healthy way.”

“My dad and his siblings talk exactly once a year.” James said. “They all call each other and the two that are on the phone with each other will fight and then call one of the others and start another fight, and it goes around and around until all four of them have fought with each other and nobody’s in a good mood. I imagine it’s something like that. Less people means it ends faster, maybe, but it can also mean it lasts longer, since there’s less of a rotation to worry about.”

“Oh, that’s messy. Family is so messy sometimes, why?” Lily laughed, resting her head against James. 

“It’s international calling too, for my dad, so it’s not just messy, it’s expensive.” James chuckled. “I don’t understand why they do it.”

“Messy and expensive, oh man.”

Before Lily could say any more, her ringtone interrupted her train of thought and she groaned as she stepped out of James’ embrace. 

“Ah, my mom. Cool.” 

“You gonna take the call? Or do you wanna leave it?” James asked. “You don’t have to. If it makes you upset or if it’s going to bother you, you don’t need to.”

“I know. I just… I should tell her? That we’re done.” Lily huffed out a breath. “She has to know.”

“Yeah. If you want to do that, I’m here.” He squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll sit with you or whatever you need, I’ll do it, okay? It’s like what I said before, when we were talking about other stuff. You’re important to me. Whatever you need, I’ll make it happen.”

“Thank you, babe.” Lily reached up to kiss his cheek, lingering a little, before answering her phone. “Hi, mom.” 

“Lily, I just heard from your sister.” Her mother said, sounding quiet and stuffy, as if she’d been crying. 

“Yeah, it didn’t go great.”

“Oh, Lily.” Her mom sighed. “Let’s try again, hmm? We can have a family dinner this weekend, just us, at home.”

“That’s not going to work, mom.” Lily said, feeling her heart accelerate in her chest. “Not this weekend. Not… it’s just not going to happen. Ever.”

“What do you mean? Is he keeping you from us?” She demanded, her voice raising and sounding eerily similar to Petunia.

“You’ve got it all backwards.” Lily said quietly, looking at James for the first time since she’d picked up the phone. She smiled, though it was small, gaining confidence at the sight of him. “I’m not going to be coming around anymore. It’s not… we aren’t good for each other, as a family. And that’s something I’ve known since before James was even in my life.” 

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Lily tipped her head back, closing her eyes and focusing on breathing until her mother spoke again.

“You don’t mean that.” Mrs. Evans said briskly.

“Actually, I do. I’m going to ask that you don’t contact me--”

“Lily!”

“I have to go now. Goodbye.” 

Lily ended the call and dropped the phone as if she’d been burned. She felt her eyes fill with tears and brushed them away quickly, shaking her head.

“Well, that went about as well as expected.” She said with a shaky laugh. 

“Which is not well, I’m gathering.” James said. “Can I do anything? To make it better? Is there-- Like, do you want anything, or…”

“Just… hold my hand? I don’t really want to unpack it all just yet.” Lily admitted. “But I’d feel calm at least with you touching me.” 

“Yeah, sure.” James took her hand, as gentle as ever. “We’ll work through it at your pace, all right? No pressure. We’ll sit on it for years, if we have to.”

“Thank you.” Lily managed a smile at his words. “Years, hmm? Normally I’m big on the whole talking thing, but I could get behind that.”

“I’ve done my fair share of dodging big talks.” James smiled back. “Seeing as it’s a common interest, we might as well give it a good shot. It’s about comfort level, right? And I figure that’s not where it needs to be for talking just yet.”

“You figured right. For tonight I’m just going to wipe the slate clean, enjoy being here with you. And turn my phone off.” 

“Here, I’ll take it.” James held his free hand out. “So it’s easier not to feel tempted, I guess. If that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, that’ll be good. You know me. I say I’ll turn it off, with good intentions and then check it every five minutes.” She handed the phone over, leaning in so she could kiss his cheek in the process. “Thanks, babe. For everything.”

“Yeah. What you need right now is peace of mind, you know? Nothing too serious. And checking your phone would mess with that a bunch.” James checked to make sure it was off, then slid it into his pocket. “I’ll put this somewhere you can’t reach. On top of a shelf or something.” He grinned. “Might as well make use of the advantages I have.”

“Okay, I’m going with the phone thing here, but I’m buying a stool in the future, I swear. This height stuff is nonsense.” She laughed, feeling a little lighter just being with him.

“How tall is that stool gonna be, babe?” James teased. “You’re gonna need a ladder.”

“Rude!” Lily laughed, leaning against him with a sigh. “A ladder, then. I’ll be unstoppable.”

They settled in together that way, tucked side by side, making silly jokes and talking about nothing in particular, until the Evans family and the weight of what Lily had done, was replaced with the love and ease between her and James and the feeling that while she wasn’t ready to handle the repercussions of her actions just yet, she would be, with him by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> We're going to be taking some time off. We’ve run out of stored up updates and health, internet connections and many other factors are conspiring against us at the moment. We’ll be back as soon as we can and will see you soon!


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